The Pun Thread

Here's one I made at lunch with my friend

*Friend is eating chips and salsa*
Friend: Ooh look at this chip *it was shaped like a triangle* *friend uses it as a nail*
Me: lol
Friend: *bites the chip*
Me: Did you chip your nail?
Friend: *gives the I'm So Done look

Two strings walked into a bar. The bar tender said to the first:We don't serve your kind here. The second went into the bathroom, messed up his hair and went back out. Bar tender:Are you a string too? String#2 replied: No, I'm afrayed knot.

I thought of a pun last week. So that I would remember it I wrote it down on some toilet paper. Unfortunately it was wiped out.

Meh, that pun's really crappy.

I used to be super good at hurdles but one day I fell and I couldn't get over my fear.

Heh. I did strain a bit.

Exstraine pressure eh?

I don't understand. Let's say we wash our hands of it?

Was that pun supposed to sink this conversation?

all these old punners are all washed up, it's time to throw in the towel.

These puns are not adoorable you can leave right now

Well, it seems like a waste of time.

Some tutors have no sense of humor so probable a [D -] Dew to the miss spelling

I think a bump is in order, it won't hurt to try. buh-dum-tss (I think, I'm rusty)

Wow, I thought this was dead.....

Well it was

The broom is an invention that swept the nation.

What did the square say to the circle when the circle was sad they didn't have any vertices?

Tri-angles.

*is trash because is not funny*

AHHH xD

So I was talking business with cyclops and we were discussing business production themes. When I was talking strategic statistics cyclops jumped in and said I have the best new eye-dea that you must hear.