So this guy from Czechoslovokia and his friend from Russia come to the U.S. on holiday. They go to Glacier Park in Montana and go camping. The park rangers tell them to call in everyday to report that they are okay and where, approximately, they are. And they do that for the first few days but then they miss the next day, and then a second day. The rangers mount a search for the two in the area where they were last reported to be. They find a pair of bears, a male and a female, sleeping deeply. Next to them are some shoes and a hat and a couple of backpacks. Reluctantly, they kill the two bears. They cut open the female bear, discover human remains and a Russian passport. "You know what this means, don't you?" says one ranger. "Yes," replies the second ranger somberly, "the Czech is in the male."
You're right, it does seem like the last joke thread was in 2013... and yet I thought there was once recently. Hm. Well, if there wasn't, I can share some jokes from another forum which are great. I probably posted them in a joke thread on yet another forum, then. I will try to repeat them myself though, this time instead of simply copying them. First off: Why couldn't any of the animals play cards on Noah's ark? Because Noah sat on the deck. I don't get it...
That's nice. Two bar jokes: A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. After receiving it, the bartender informs him that they've got a challenge going this week. "What is it?", asks the man. "Do you see those slices of meat hanging from the ceiling?". "Yeah, I had been wondering what they were there for". "Well, that's part of the meat challenge", the bartender informs. "The meat challenge? So, what's the challenge?" The bartender explains: "You get a single try to jump as high as you can and touch the beef. If you succeed, you get free drinks for an hour. If you don't hit any of the meat, however, you have to buy drinks for everyone in the bar." The man looks around: there are a lot of people at the bar. He looks up at the slabs of meat hanging from the ceiling and ponders for a while. "Well?", asks the bartender. "Will you have a try?" After a bit of consideration, the man replies: "I don't think so. The steaks are too high." Three men walked into a bar. You'd think the third one would have ducked.
Are bearded jokes (from the past century) welcome? A rescue action goes wrong and so an Englishmen, a Frenchman and a migrant are stranded on a desert island. After some time, already very hungry, they catch a golden fish who promises them to fulfill three wishes - one for each of them - if they release it. They release the fish and the Englishmen says "I wish to go back home to England" - *puff* he disappears. The Frenchman says "I wish to go back to my family in France" - *puff* he disappears. The migrant thinks for a while - he does not want to go back home - and says "I would be so dull and lonely alone on this island. Please bring those two guys back."
I'm not really into blonde jokes, but I remember these two. Adjusted for faked political correctness ... kind of Two young and good looking mothers rent VW Beetles for a sightseeing tour - one each. After a rest, one of the Beetles won't start. The young women opens the front hood and says "Oh, I have no engine!". The other opens the back lid and says "Oh, I have a spare!" How does a very pretty person make marmalade? She buys crullers and shells them.
Lets go guys!!! Let’s fill this thread with se more jokes. Here’s one. “What did Ernie say to Bert when he asked if he wanted ice cream? Sure-bert.
A joke I actually made up myself: What do you call someone from the midwest who is on your nerves? Illinoising!
