Jokes!

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by TheJuniorMint, Dec 7, 2018.

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Was this thread a good idea?

YESSS 5 vote(s) 25.0%
Maybe 1 vote(s) 5.0%
NEVER 2 vote(s) 10.0%
it has potential. 12 vote(s) 60.0%
  1. Mom why is this bike not working? I don't know maybe it's two tired.
    TheJuniorMint, TomvanWijnen and 607 like this.
  2. The momcorn asked the soncorn have you seen popcorn??
    TheJuniorMint and 607 like this.
  3. I was gonna make a joke about sodium, but Na.
    TheJuniorMint likes this.
  4. Should I keep this thread going? It’s only a few months old.
  5. Not my joke (easily findable on Reddit), but a classic nonetheless. Yes, gonna make you read the whole thing; yes, I think it's funny.

    Three kingdoms lay around a triangular lake. One kingdom lies on each side of the lake. For decades, the kings had argued over its true owner, each claiming to be the first kingdom to settle there, and many tales of magical swords and godly favours to claim divine right. Eventually, this story-telling and legal battling came to no conclusion, so the kings decided to go to war.

    The first kingdom is very wealthy, and has a grand army of thousands of Knights in shining armour with state of the art squires and weaponry, expertly trained killing machines.

    The second kingdom is moderately well off, and has several hundred Knights in standard armour with enough squires to get by, but all willing in heart and mind.

    The third kingdom is very poor, and has only one elderly Knight with his great grandson for a squire, in rusty centuries old armour.

    On the eve before the battle, each kingdom decides to have a celebration for the great deeds that are about to be done.
    The first kingdom has a great banquet that no words can give justice to, a massive, endless hall of food and delight, dancers and jesters and bards as plentiful as the fine wine and boar that accompanies them.

    The second kingdom has not nearly as grand an occasion, but makes the most of what they have, making up for the lack of fine food and entertainment with enough ale to knock out an elephant.

    The third kingdom has but scraps to make do with. In fact, so little food do they have that there is only enough for the Knight and boy squire alone to have a feast (a feast by their standards, at least). The elderly Knight is too weak and tired to get up, so the squire prepares the meal. He decides to cook a stew, so hangs a pot over a fire with a noose and cooks what they have into a small broth.

    Finally, the great day dawns. The kings did not sleep through the night, and sent their generals to ready their armies. The world sat on tenderhooks.

    However, fate had taken a strange turn. The armies from the first and second kingdoms had drunk so much in their revels that not one remained conscious, much to the fury of their leaders. And in the third kingdom, the elderly Knight's back had gone, and he could not stand. The kings were left speechless. There was only one option.

    The squires must go to war.

    So on the battlefield, a hundred thousand squires in tunics too big for them and wooden swords trampled the ground beneath them as they came to the edge. One gigantic behemoth of an army met the other small but willing force at the peak of the lake.

    And the squire of the third kingdom faced them all.

    The battle began. Heads were clubbed in, backs broken, knees twisted, hair pulled, and slowly the numbers remaining dwindled. As the hours swept by and the body piles grew high, the kings and their people watched in the greatest suspense the lake ever knew.

    And as the sun set, and the dust cleared, finally, a single figure stood atop the mountain of bodies beneath him, victorious. The squire of the third kingdom had won.

    This goes to show that the squire of the high-pot-and-noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides of the triangle.
    liamwill and Runningrhino like this.
  6. My joke

    Royal caribbean cancelling cruises

    Sorry
  7. how do ghost poo?

    they go boo boo