Jokes!

Personally, I am surprised that no one has created a jokes thread before. Gaming_Commander created a puns thread but it seemed like it had to relate to EMC players.

So, here are the rules.

Just post any funny joke you have, as long as it is appropriate!
These jokes do not have to relate to EMC players, just have fun with it!

To start off, "What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match."

What do you call a factory that sells passable products?

A satisfactory.

The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family. The problem is no one runs in your family

wow never heard that one before

The rules say post ANY joke

So have you heard that skeletons love music? I didn't know because they play too much trom-bone

Why did the scarecrow win an oscar?

It was outstanding in its field...

I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.

I believe that is somewhere on my profile page too!

I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

ROSES ARE BLACK
VIOLETS ARE BLACK
I AM BLIND
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT.

What do you call dangerous precipitation?

A rain of terror

Policeman: Do you know how fast you were going?
Motorist: No, you're the one with the radar.

Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.

I invented a new word! Plagiarism!

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

When I was a boy, I laid in my twin sized bed and wondered where my brother was.

I like how dabbing is hated, when there's another verb of dabbing where you are wiping something with a fabric to clean off or to absorb something with. Not a joke, sorry guys...

How did the computer tackle the sandwich? It took a megabyte out of it

What do the reindeer say before they tell you a joke?
This Will sleigh you!