About Me and the Important You

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by NetherSpecter, Sep 25, 2016.

  1. WARNING: This thread consists of the self-depreciation of someone who loves others more than himself, if you are prone to eye rolling at people who complain and hate themselves way too much, please click away, if you are the type of person who tells said people to "get over it" please click away, if you are the type of person who hate it when others post threads like this then please click away. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

    So... I've never done one of these before and as such I might just be covering two or three topics that have stuck with me for a bit. Sorry for the long read and I don't mind if you'd click away now. :) For those that stayed, I've wanted to make sort of "blogish" posts for a while now, but I do nothing with my life and as such have nothing to write about. :p

    About Me

    I'm an introverted, arrogant, bearded, man-baby who has no idea what he wants to do with his life and goes through small phases of depression every other week. Well... if that didn't tell you everything lemme specify.

    Hi, the name's Aaron, and I've been on this Minecraft server for almost 4 years (Come early Jan) and I've sort of gotten into this love/hate relationship with this game. On the one hand I love EMC for the people and the discussions that go on within it. On the other I hate Minecraft for the amount of time it's taken from me and I just become bored and feel as if I'm wasting time when I'm on it.

    I used to be social within the online community with old friends, but have slowly drifted away due to creeping depression. Now lemme be clear, I'm not depressed all the time and I'm actually smiling LOADS considering how lucky I am to be with my family. No, I go through bi-weekly ruts, and by that I mean I don't feel sad and I can still get out of bed, but I feel like I'm wasting time and get very bored and just find myself doing... nothing. Now for those who go through ACTUAL depression, I don't want to compare myself to you, but I do know that there are multiple levels and I feel as if I'm on level one.

    Moving on. I'm also 18 years of age. I've "finished" high school and should be looking at going to a community college of sorts soon. After that it's college and then... nothing. I have ZERO idea on what I want to do because everything I've said I want to do is unreachable for me. I want to write plots for video games for companies like Bioware or EA or even Bethesda. But alas it's a pipe dream. I'm awful at writing and I know it'll take practice but honestly I can't see myself in that position.

    Then there was game designing; becoming the guy who creates the world based off someone else's work but I have no artistic talent, I can't sing, play an instrument, or draw for shit. On top of all of that I've got this issue to where I hate to leave things half finished or if it's going wrong I have to start from scratch. For instance I've literally spent 700 hours using a program that makes game and have started over 3 times... it's an awful quirk...

    I'm also an introvert. Having zero social capabilities (but am awesome when it comes to participating in conversations) I can't seem to reach out to actual people and talk to them. "Camps" aren't my thing and I have no interest in going to another country to be in a "workshop" so I stay at home. Writing 25 different plot lines knowing I'll never be able to do anything with it.

    Now I don't want to start my "blogs" off by insulting myself. I know I have these issues and am attempting to get a leash on them. I want to talk to people and meet them and do things with people in my area. However my dad's in the Navy, I tried to place roots where I am now, for the first time in 8 years but turns out there's a good chance we're moving before the end of the year. So where does that leave me? Pulling up my seeds and going somewhere else. My "depression" isn't that bad and my introverted state is me being stupid and not reaching far enough.

    Writing Blogs

    Now that I've got the sappy stuff out of the way I'd like to put the reason as to why I've started writing these. I want to share my worthless life with people. I want people to know why I do nothing and I want to brag to someone when I do actually do something. I want to show people that if I can do something then certainly it's not hard for them to do.

    What I'll Be Doing

    Starting tomorrow 9/26/2016, I will be getting up and spend 2+ hours outside, even if it's just walking and looking at the scenery. I'll try to take pictures and then continue this post with a new blog update. This is my record, for all of those reading, you are my witness. I'll try to cast aside my arrogance, my introvertedness, and my depression to try and find a better me.

    The Important You (Conclusion)

    You've stuck with me thus far you might as well read a bit more. I'm lazy, I've probably insulted myself a few times in this thread but that's because I don't have anyone that will. I'm unhealthy, not sociable and will quite honestly rather not talk to anyone than carry on a conversation over dinner. This is where you come in. For the next week feel free to PM here I want to talk and I want to have real conversations not just about picking up "auctions". I've reached out and I hope you'll take my hand. Talk to me, even if it's just to ask me how my day is doing. Thank you and have an awesome day.

    "Be the change you want in this world." - Gandhi

    ~Aaron, the bearded, man-baby :p
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  2. If you don't like posts from people who will try to cheer you up a bit anyway, even though they know up front that they might fail then... You know ;)

    I think that's an awesome idea! And even though I don't really know what I'm talking about I still think this may do you some good one way or the other. Just taking on a task and somewhat forcing yourself to undertake it. Who knows, you might even like it or discover other things you like. Maybe you'll run into other people....

    But I think its a great idea to just try and take on something else and don't think about doing it, but simply don't think and actually doing it. Period. Whether you like it or not: let's get this over with.

    Like I said, I think this may very well help you to get some things sorted out, or so I sincerely hope!

    I can't wait for your blog post, and I'll be very sure to read it and see if I can comment on it somehow!

    But most of all I really hope this will get you a good & healthy distraction of things.

    Now... there is of course a downside to this (uh oh...) ;) I might also going to nag you a little bit if you don't follow up with your own plan / promise :) Nothing too serious but.. oh well, we'll see.

    Good luck Nether!
    Kytula, Jelle68 and NetherSpecter like this.
  3. I am an introvert and have social anxiety as well. I don't have any friends, or talk to anyone really, and am in my final year of HS, so I can relate to what you are talking about.

    What kinds of things do you find interesting, such as hobbies. When searching for a job, try to find things about a job position that exist that you are keen on doing, then learn about how to do it well.

    You said that you are unhealthy, and a large part of that is likely your diet. Assuming you are american, you likely eat foods high in fat and sugar. Try to find fresh, non-processed foods at stores, as they are much healthier. Don't go for potato chips and pop if you are hungry, instead go for something like carrots and dip.

    Good for you to take initiative to start going outside to get 2 hours of exercise every day. And good luck!

    NetherSpecter likes this.
  4. Let me clarify (and edit) I'm not obese, I'm just unhealthy and should probably take care of myself more. I could definitely use improvement but wouldn't say I'm obese. Thanks for the support. :)
    Zrugite likes this.
  5. You're not the only one who's shy. In general, I can't talk to most people either. Sometimes, I can't look at the person in the eyes and I fidget a lot. My parents always criticize me for being so 'rude', but I can't do much about it. Its a really bad habit. About the camps, you should try them out. I'm doing a 3D printing club at my school, which none of my friends are doing. I just wanted to do more during the weekdays and it sounded fun. Even though I knew none of the other students, I am glad I joined. You'll have to step out of your comfort zone and try new things. :) Want to become a videogame writer? Well, think postitive. My aunt's the most optimistic person that I know. She always encourages us and gives us life 'quotes' to follow. Getting a job like that probably won't be easy, but it will be worth while in the end. I hope this brightens up things. - Ender. :)

    PS. And I agree auctions are annoying.
    Zrugite and NetherSpecter like this.
  6. I see a lot of myself in you, even though I am just a 15 year old sophomore. Small world huh?
    NetherSpecter likes this.
  7. Ehh gl i guess, kinda tired so gonna be short...

    If you dont try i can gurantee you, you wont succeed, BUT IF YOU TRY AND PUT what tou luv in front you have at least a chance

    The point is to never giv up
    NetherSpecter likes this.
  8. Here's what to do with life:
    • love
    • learn
    • work
    Now that was easy, wasn't it?

    How to do it?
    That's a bit harder part, but if you start doing it you'll figure it out on the go.
    NetherSpecter and Gawadrolt like this.
  9. To be honest you sound like most people I know, no idea why, but you do. I do think that writing a blog can be helpful in getting your dream job, it will truly improve your writing skills. You should go after your dream job if you ask me, because it's not impossible, so it's better you take a chance than not taking that chance in the first place.
    Kytula and NetherSpecter like this.
  10. Please don't take my message in the wrong way, the last thing I want to do is pressure people. I'm pretty sure that you won't like that and making something feel like an obligation is sometimes also pretty counter-productive (this should be fun I think).

    But because of the underlying seriousness I still felt that a small poke was required. Not just for the heck of it, but because I'm honestly curious how this idea worked out for you so far?

    Did you manage to get out and spot things? How was it? Did you manage to find some relaxing moments which took your mind of things, and were there any funny things which you remember or which you did?

    Or.... Did you skip all this and postponed it for "next time"? ;)
    NetherSpecter and Wither_Addict like this.
  11. I have some things to add but I'm busy now so I'll edit later ;)
    NetherSpecter likes this.
  12. Nah was saving the pictures for my next post. :p Plan on doing one of these a week and go running twice a week to start. Also a little pressure never killed anyone, I'm very pleased you took time to post this. :)

    I went running Monday, came back with sore-ass legs and waited till Thursday for them to get a bit better, as I was running it started to rain so I cut it short a bit, but I do have pictures of the beach since it's like 30 feet from my house. Managed to spot some dolphins out in the distance but since I don't have a "top drawer" camera all of the pictures of them are indistinguishable. Nothing "hilarious" worth mentioning, but I did enjoy being out there just smelling fresh air.

    I'll be writing something up on Sunday and try to get every Sunday after that. :p
    Kytula, Zrugite, ShelLuser and 2 others like this.
  13. Second Blog Post HYPE! So in accordance with a schedule, I'm here once again... boring you about my life. This might be short, if not then you can laugh at me being wrong.

    My Weekly Runs

    No... not that type of runs... although... Nah, I'll talk about my workout runs. So as stated in the first post I've gone running about twice a week, and since my phone isn't cooperating with my computer I don't have current pictures but I did go to the beach and sit there just free of thought, watching dolphins pop in and out of the water. I also came home wishing for early death because my legs were eating the literal soul out of me. I felt like an old man stumbling up and down the stairs...

    My Gaming Routine

    So.. leaning off of video games, I've started to read more, I'm waiting on a book to help me learn to play the piano... and I've limited myself to about five, six hours of video games...


    I honestly... don't have much to talk about... I'm not the best for doing these because... my mind just goes blank... So... I might just make this into a question then post something long to answer all of your questions? Once a week, sort of like an AMA but it's weekly per post. So post any questions or any mentions of your life anything interesting. :) I'll try to post things with small issues or tidbits of my life each Sunday.
    ShelLuser, Kytula and Zrugite like this.
  14. Hello there :) I'm probably late! I'm always late at everything I'm totally unorganized and extremely lazy :p So.... if i haven't missed any deadlines I'd like to say hi ;)
    ShelLuser and NetherSpecter like this.
  15. but that is where you are wrong manbaby i'll volunteer to insult you all day!
    carolmoss and NetherSpecter like this.

  16. That's a really good Idea, that's the way I stopped with playing to much video games, playing piano, about 2 hours a day, I can give you two tips, after you've learnt the basics, start with learing piano solo's YOU like, you can better not learn something were you need anny other instrument for to make it sound great, just piano, beacause it will than sound great after you've learnt the first part, wich gives you motivation to learn the second part, and you sould deffenetly listen to evryone who sais to you how it sounds, people who are not playing can way better understand what's the missing part in your way of playing :)
    ShelLuser and NetherSpecter like this.
  17. Hey Nether! I think I lived through much of what you describe as well. Im 25 now and I got through most of these things quite okayish. Sure there are always ups and downs, but that is more like part of life, rather than a serious condition.

    It took me roughly 7 years to get to this point, where I feel very proud of myself. It took so long mostly due to many wrong approaches to solve the issues. Yet without these attempts I would have never made it. In this way I very much support Tuqueque statement.

    However its not just head through wall trying. From what I have learned most custom tailored solutions dont work in this case. If they were to work, you would have done that from the start, intuitively. These things include for me:

    • Workout in a gym
    • Jogging
    • "Just eat healthy"
    • Go out at night
    • a.s.o.
    Yet I had to do something about the situation. I was moving to little, wasnt eating properly (a lot more proper than many others yet not good enough, especially sugar!), had little social interactions and my apartement was a huge mess, dirty dishes unclean... So what I worked out were two fundamental points:
    1. Engage in CONSISTENT actions
    2. Find what works for you
    What this means is, for once don't try to change everything at once. Changing stuff is a very tidous step. It takes willpower. You can think of willpower like a muscle. If you use it too many times it will be tiring and it will get harder and harder to push yourself. Commit to one thing and go through with it until its PART OF YOU. For me for starters it was as little as cleaning my dishes daily and bringing out the garbage all 2 days. It might seem ridiculous, that this was my limit for change, when it urged me sooo much to change everything. But it was the maximum I could guarantee so that my willpower wouldnt let me down along the road. We dont talk about a week or a month. We talk about this STAYS like this forever now. Next steps included showering EVERY day no excuses like "Im sitting at home all day anyway". A clean room and self is very important to also boost your social interactions. You dont mind the somewhat dirty place maybe, but you prolly will have problems once there might be this small chance of people comming over. Especially new people. I used to instinctively dodge any chance of getting to know new people, when there was a chance they ended up at my place. And that slight chance always exists right? So I pretty much dodged everything...

    Small addition to socail interactions. Sadly social interaction is nothing you build up steadily. Its more like a lucky drop. You kill tons of Momentus and get his toothpick eventually, know what I mean? Very important is that one friend, that is fine hanging out with you as much as you like. There really is no tip how to meet that person. I kind of dumbed all these "Keep your eyes open" "Make opportunities" tips, mostly because of point 2 "Find what works for you". People will come, as you progress to improve your life.

    "Find what works for you" is a state of mind I think. The other day I was visiting my parents and I was out on a walk with my dad. (Something I would have never agreed to in earlier days XD) So there we were and he went on how I should go out walking on my own more often. Listing all the advantages. However the advantages are the goodies you get from it. What you should look at is what keeps you from doing it regularly. For me it is that its really boring to just walk. I also swim once a week, thats borderline boring. You are in a pool of water going back and forth for an hour. So boring stuff doesnt work for me. The moment I have to get up and do this boring stuff I am usually doing something fun. And I could keep doing fun. What in the world would get me to do something boring instead. So I had to find something to spice it up. For swimming my best friend joined me. (Yes I had that lucky drop already. Where you ask? Well it was an internship during my bachelor thesis.) But swimming is only something you do once a week. So additionally Im currently planning on visiting our local animal shelter to take dogs for a walk. Thats much more interesting. I cant have animals where I live, but I can sure borrow one there. Also Im looking into getting a treadmill. I noticed I watched a lot of series. And after self reflection I came to the believe, that I would be rather open minded about walking on a treadmill while watching. -> Wouldnt be boring ;) Always critically ask why the custom taliored solutions dont work. Its fine to be picky. Because your subconcious is like a child. And it sure wont eat its vegetables. So dont try to feed it anything through willpower. Find something that works. (Also dont try to force expensive solutions if you dont have the money for them! I only look into buying a treadmill because I have money now. If it were to fail I would feel terrible if I had saved up very long to buy it)

    Okay I guess I made my point. A few last thoughts:

    This is actually quite a valuable advise to analyse what the most important next step is to improve your life. As I started my adventure I started with a lot of books from the category of what I call life science. These 3 tips correlate alot with what I got to know as the 4 pillars of happiness.

    “Live, Love, Laugh, Leave a Legacy” -Stephen R. Covey
    At its base it says, that happiness comes from a healthy & fit body, from having people around you that you love, to enjoy life (this includes learning! As developing once mind is very pleasurable!) and to work towards something that is bigger than yourself, which you leave behind one day (This is something we dont need to worry about too much just yet).

    Something that also helps me personally is to imagine my future self. To do this realisticly I am looking for what I am commiting my life to at the moment. When I was younger my focus was gaming. I wanted to be a great gamer naturally. So imagining being a great gamer was easy. I was later a very successful WoW player. Later on I recoginzed education as my main focus of life. (As I studied at university) So I started to imgaine myself as a great engineer (I am german so that came natural as well I guess XD). It was ridiculous at the time. I could have been lucky to even finish my studies. I was not a good student at all and only understood enough to pass the exams somehow. Not even close to use these skills anywhere EVER. Today I am writing my master thesis. I have top grades and got hired as a freelancer at a company that revolves around ecommerce. My skills are highly valued, they pay me during my master thesis and I am guaranteed a job there after Im done with studies. At this point I want to point out, that I think your "worthless" view of yourself isn't going to help you. This is not being realistic or being modest. Its just going to lower your expectation of yourself. Be demanding. A single event can change so much about what you expect. I got a single A grade at the start of my master. That was something I never expected. Suddenly I snapped and I demanded much better grades of myself. I just raised my standards. And everything else came naturally. I didnt reach that point due to incredible hard studying. Hard studying isnt a sustainable behaviour. Remember point 1? You need consistent actions! I found fun in making good presentations. I got the newest MS Office version and it was actually a lot of fun to see how easily you can do amazing things. Now that my presentation were looking amazing of course I didnt wanted false facts in it. So the energy to research more thoroughly came naturally to me. Dont walk with your head through the wall! Make the wall come to you! XDDDDDD

    I hope this will help you find your way. And last thing. Being depressed (Please note Im not talking about a permanent condition!) is okay. Getting depressed doesnt mean you failed in life. It just mean you failed to reach what you hoped for. Im at the point where I regained the confidence to even ask out girls. (Yep that can be quite the challenge). And just the other day I got rejected. It was nothing serious. She had a boyfriend and I didnt know it. Yet it got my down that day. But this happens. And getting a little depressed is also okay. You build up the courage in this case or all that energy and it failed. Sure thats frustrating. But life goes on and you will get another shot at it. You are never to old to make your life right. So unless you are dead you still have a lot of shots left! ;)

    - Hasorko
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  18. i think you will find that the more you try to change yourself to be what you want to be, the more you will begin to like what you are going to become, and thus the more you will fall in love with beautiful narcissistic you.

    so be you, but be the best you you have ever wanted to be.

    also quit being such a manbaby unless you are going to be someones baby MANNNNNN
    M4ster_M1ner and NetherSpecter like this.
  19. Here, another shiny
    You've covered most important aspects and you've hit the target very well.
    And - thank you! :)

    Hasorko is lucky to have mastered this until 25 - I know people who are 35+ and still not really there yet.
    (200 years ago you just had to get there with 15, but now we live in another age :))
    Nevertheless, this isn't a cake that you can eat and then it's yours - there is always the next task and the next step.

    People are attracted when they feel they can get something from you. Mostly not in a material way.
    When people notice that a person is not able to care for themselves, they (rightly so) think that they also aren't able to care for someone else.
    In this situation, the people who stay are probably those who are willing to help without expecting to get anything back. Or people who are clueless. Either way, there is no foundation for a sustainable relationship.
    One first learns to care for themselves and then learns to care for others.

    That's a very, very important aspect - and it is very important not to do it alone:

    Underline that.

    I've heard elliptical trainers are better. There are some models that have a coupled screen where you can watch scenery from different places around the world, and you virtually move through the scenery with the pace of your training. Afterwards, you really have the feeling that you've been there - I think the images get stored in the "I've been there" compartment, not in the "watched a documentary about" department.
    If possible, this should be supplementary to at least a weekly run with a companion.
    Kytula and Hasorko like this.
  20. Another military brat :p I completely know the feels of having to move all the time. Once you finally feel okay-ish and somewhat settled in, you get up and move again. Heck, the longest I lived in one spot when I was a kid was 3 years.

    I'm sorry about what you are going through, but it's nice to see that you're trying to do something about it. I wish you good luck on you "journey". If you ever decide to want to talk to someone, my inbox is always open. :)