Unfortunately, Midas touched Jack and Jack touched Midas at the same time and they both turned to gold.
Unfortunately, we had the technology to build a bigger, badder, more terrible Donald Trump. Trumptron-2000 IT'S A YUUUUUUGE UNFORTUNATE EVENT
Unfortunately, The original Trump wasn't killed by the bus, he just broke his back and he was voted president
Fortunately, Trump got unelected and a new president was chosen and the new president gave Jack all his money back.
Fortunately, Trump became president on april fools day (somehow idk lol) and it was actually Cruz who became president. Unfortunately, Mein Kampf got into the wrong hands and now we're ruled by President Snow. He also starts The Hunger Games and divides the nation into 13 districts.
Unfortunately cruz got assassinated while delivering his speech, and runner up trump gets president once ahain