Hey EMC,

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by finch_rocks_1, Nov 2, 2014.

  1. Hey Everyone!

    This is something that was requested by several players. A version that is not all over the road. The Original Post can be found on the post Below..


    From the time I started Kindergarten, I always felt out of place, I found it very hard to make friends. I made one friend, and we hung out every day. My sister went to that school as well, although people would always pick on me because I used to play a game every time for recess where we where cats that went on adventures daily.

    When I was home, I kinda stuck to my self. I used to build legos and I was very good. I also used to play with my sisters dolls very often and play imaginary games with them. I also used to play with my sisters stuffed animals, although she did not like it and could never find them.

    My grandma on my moms side of the family got a cat for me. I called her kitty, and she used to hang with me when I was inside.

    When I was 7, I came out to my dad, although he said that it would never happen as he did not know anything about it and though it was a phase. I put it away and continued with my life.

    My school I went to only went up to grade 6 and it was even so small, when I was in grade 2, 3, 4 me and 10 others where in a split grade (same class another grade below us). I was beat up every other day, and made fun of.

    My dad started to teach me how to skate, although I did not like it. We practiced on a pond, and one day i was sitting on the side, when the ice started to sink and break. Ever since that day, I have never went skating again. I go on the ice, but i am very careful, even to the point where when i go atving, i test the ice thickness, so i don't fall in

    By the time I got to grade 6, I felt really depressed, and out of it, I spent most of my time in the fields in the back of the school yard. One day, in was in the back, picking flowers and I ran into poison ivy, but did not know what it was, and I ended up with it all over my face. It was very bad, and my dad complained to the school, and they closed the school for a week to remove it, although they removed it and claimed they did not have any there, so they did not fall under a law suit.

    Not only that, our 6th grade teacher just left half way through the semester and never came back. we had cops talk to us every day for a month, asking us questions like (did he ever touch you, Did he ever say sexual comments, etc). Ended up he was not a teacher, and he lied on his resume. He made fun of me every day before that, so I even told the cops that.

    When we had to transfer to another school for grade 7 and 8, we went to a school down the road. Sad part is my friend I had, my one friend, moved away just before grade 6 finished. When I got to the new school, I found it very hard to make friends. On the 2nd month, I made 2 new friends, both where girls. During lunch, we would talk.

    About half was into grade 7, the bulling got so bad to the point where, I would be getting beat up, while everyone stood by, and even some teachers. Only teachers that would stop it where the teachers that are not born there. I was beat up 1-3 times a week, and i was suspended for it as well, while the student was not.

    It got so bad to the point where about half way through grade 7, I attempted suicide and not just once, I attempted it 9 times in grade 7. they raged, from jumping off something, to cutting/stabbing myself.

    Not only was there the bulling, I knew there was something fully wrong. I was still playing with my sisters toys, and I wore women's clothing. I came out to my dad again in hope that he will help, although he said no, and I am not allowed to do it.

    It was very hard to look into what was wrong with me as my school had nothing on the topic. I was not even able to check online as we had dial-up internet and I had windows 98 and no internet wire up in my room.

    shorty after that, I got a Dirt Bike, "Yamaha Big Wheel". I used it very often, and every day after school, I would ride it way out in the county and stop, and lay there in the grass hoping for things to change.

    Around the same time, my mom enrolled me in sea cadets, and, I would attend that every Thursday. I would attend several of the parades playing the snare drum and bass drum. in return I would be able to get to go skiing for free :D. I earned the rank LS and was a month away from Petty Officer, but I moved then.

    By grade 8, I had 8 friends, 7 where girls and one was a boy, One day he asked if I could bring one of my sprite bombs to school for him (Small rock covered in gun power and goes poof on the ground). When I handed it over to him, he through it on the school wall. Haha, that gave me a laugh, although the school went on lock-down and they called the swat and bomb squad in. they had the swat RV and even helicopter.

    For that I did get suspended for 2 weeks, and so did my friend.

    After that, I tended to stick to my 7 friends that where all girls. We just talked and hung out in the soccer field. I never talked about me wanting to be a girl, although, I think they could tell by my reactions.

    When I went to high school, I did not find it any easier, I had less friends, still had 3 friends and again, they where all girls. I am not sure, I just found it easy to make friends with girls and relate to them in certain ways.

    About a month into grade 9, we had a house fire, and that broke me. I lost everything. we lived in a hotel for 4 months, and then moved to a rental house down the street from the house. Not only was everything damaged from the smoke, it was so hot that the steel I beams melted, so most of our stuff was past repair.

    As soon as that semester finished, we moved closer to family to get a new life. I made again 3 friends, 2 girls and one guy. every lunch, we would go to the games room and play board game. although that school was nice and clean, (We where the first semester of students in there as they just built it), it was more a nerdy school as everyone was one level, one level of English, one level of math, etc. there was only around 500 students there.

    After that semester, we moved once again, and I had to make friends all over again.

    It was not until then I started to dress as a women at home, and we got high speed internet, well, fast enough lol, and I started to research why I am this way.

    I stated to dress more and more, and then my dad and my dad's girl friend found out. My dad yelled and me and said to stop, and if i want to be a woman, to wait till after i finished high school.

    My dad's girl friend on the other hand never liked me, and this made her start to harass me, and threaten me. she even attacked me, and said that she was going to send mt to jail and a mental institute, just because I am a transgender and she did not agree with it.

    By the time I got to grade 11, I could not take it any more and had to come out, although my dad did not agree and would not let me, so i started looking my own self on how to start. I went to my doctor and asked to start HRT and he just laughed at me, and called me gay. After that, I just ignored it, and I just talked to my friends at school about it.

    When I moved to that school, I made 2 friends that where girls instantly. They are who I told about me. They where very supportive and every lunch, we would just hang.

    when I got to grade 12, I made 7 friends that were girls, and 3 that were guys.

    It could not stand being a made so much, I turned to the black market and was looking to self HRT myself.

    Shortly after that, I went an got a counselor who knew about this. She was good, although as soon as she said I should start HRT my dad pulled me out, and said I am not allowed to go.

    By the time I finished High School, I asked my dad if I can start to transition, although he said no and now to wait till i finish college.

    When i go to college, I felt free, and I stated to dress as a woman and, I found a counselor here. She also said I should start HRT.

    It was not until after the first month of college, where i started to come out to my friends and family. I think my mom was the hardest. I also started to dress up more. It got to a point where I would be dress more as a female than male on an average day.

    After seeing her for a few months, she said i can start, and my dad said, sure what ever, as I kept asking him. So I have called a few doctors and they forwarded me to the main place in Toronto, although the wait is 2-3 years. So i then used a service by the government that helps find doctors in our area. Now its the waiting game.

    As of now, I know I am a Trans Woman, and I am Proud to be a Trans.

    I hope that people will learn from this and may be able to relate.

    I also do plan on joining several groups for trans in the future.

    I also wear women's clothing when i am home, and wear my wig.

    I will update when i can.

    I will also be documenting all the changes and progress of the transition.

    Also to clarify, I have not experimented, but I am interested in women.

    Feel free to ask any questions,
    Harp4Christ, Walrice, Tah2 and 41 others like this.
  2. Original Post!

    Hey EMC,

    I never did one of these, so i think i should. I will be leaving a lot of stuff out as I don't feel safe sharing it with everyone due to bulling and cyber bulling. Anyway here we go.

    I am a 19 year old teen that has graduated high school with full awards and a scholar ship, Will be attending College starting in Jan 2015. Through out my life I really never had many friends, I found it very hard for someone like me to make friends, from grade 1-8 I had 10 friends in total, from grade 9-13 I had 14 friends, 9 of them were girls, and 5 where boys. during school i had a hard time learning and getting along with friends as i was bullied, to the point where every day I as beat up. I always lived in the country so I was far away from all my friends and could not get to their place to hang out so I was a loner. I have tried making friends online on Xbox and game servers. I tried several minecraft servers and they where all very mean to me when I joined until I found this one where everyone was very nice. On Xbox i had around 300 friends and did not talk to reply to them, they just added me when I got a mic and started talking those friends went down to 30 friends. I was always quiet as i had a disorder called lazy tong and Tend to mumble a lot so I don't talk very much through the mic, When I make friends I loose a lot from just talking.

    Throughout school starting at age 4 I started to get Very depressed and very stressed. I try to release my stress on games like GTA and cod, and sometimes in building on minecraft. There have been times where i have been depressed so bad where i attempted suicide, and this has happened several times. I have also though about suicide more than several times, I have been identified with a Disorder where it will cost lots of money and will be bullied all my life, Very few on EMC know about this disorder, at this time I don't feel safe as there are several people on EMC that are very rude to me and don't like me.

    Now don't go saying you have issues and go see a doctor or get pills, as non of this will help.

    I have found it so hard to find a small community that I can latch onto and feel safe. EMC is a place I eel safe.

    I will try my best to try and get on as much as I can when I am in college but I don't know how much time i will have.

    For all those people that are Very Depressed and feel the same way I do, Never give up, You will find a way to fix it someday. I will soon.

    Through My life I traveled a lot, as my dad sold antiques, Made it very hard to do stuff, I also had a House fire in grade 9 on September 30th at 4pm, Lost everything I had, even my house, lived in a hotel for a few months. Shortly after that I lost my cat that I grew up, she got cancer, and shortly after that lost my rabbit that was in the house during the fire. Worst part was I got off the school bus while the smoke was billowing out of the house.

    This is how bad the damage was!

    I don't have any pictures left of the house I grew up in except those. Anything that made it had smoke damage to the point where the smoke smell and black was stained for ever.
    MustangLover25 and Khalietal like this.
  3. I joined EMC a few days after an attempted suicide. I was being beat up at school daily, teachers did not understand me, and I lost everything I had through a bankruptcy. I was really fed up with life. I also started taking anti-depressants and seeing a psychiatrist, and that did nothing. I joined EMC a few days later. At the time I was an annoying and hormonal 12 year old, but people put up with me and my madness.

    If it was not for EMC, I think I would be dead. I would have gotten into the wrong croud seeking refuge, and I would not be here. EMC has provided me with something I have not had until recently; it gave me friends.
  4. There is still one Massive reason why I am always Depressed, and all i will say is "I have been identified with (GID)"
    Khalietal and Marktanion like this.
  5. I have had multiple friends been in that position before. If you want to talk about it, my skype is listed in my profile :)
    finch_rocks_1 and Marktanion like this.
  6. I added a Bit more to what happend to my life on the 2nd post. And sure i will think about it.
    Marktanion likes this.
  7. Glad EMC is your safe place. But remember, things always get brighter.

    I too was bullied in school, and had very few friends. Well I still have very few friends, though mainly cause its harder to go find friends as an adult when my lifestyle is always on the PC heh, and I use to be super shy and socially awkward.

    Just remember, when you succeed in your career, those bullies will be serving you your food, and that satisfaction will make all the pains of the bullies a bit relieved, as the kind of people who bully are those who never make it in life.

    And if those bullies find their way on EMC, remember the staff always has your back, and is a simple /report or PM away :)
  8. Thanks :)
  9. Well, I can't say I can come remotely close to understanding what it would be like to be in your shoes; I neither knew nor cared what people thought about me wen I was younger. I do, however, have a brother who has struggled his entire life with the bullies and people that can't seem to get past his mental issues. My heart goes out to you, probably because you remind me a bit of my brother. I doubt I can do anything, but if I can, don't hesitate to ask me. I mean it, I don't care what it is, I will help you if it is within my power (and is reasonable). ;)
  10. Thanks, :) when people bullied me while in high school i would not say anything just walk away and it they continued would go to my vp or guidance. I will let you know if i need anything :)
    BlackKnight1021 likes this.
  11. This may seem bad, But i have not said the Worst Part as i dont feel safe as stated a few times.

    Types of Bullying

    Physical bullying:

    • Hitting, kicking, or pushing someone...or even just threatening to do it
    • Stealing, hiding, or ruining someone's things
    • Hazing, harassment, humiliation. Making someone do things he or she doesn't want to do.
    Verbal bullying:
    • Name-calling
    • Teasing, taunting
    • Insulting or otherwise verbally abusing someone
    Relationship bullying:
    • Refusing to talk to someone
    • Excluding someone from groups or activities
    • Spreading lies or rumors about someone
    • Hazing, harassment, humiliation. Making someone do things he or she doesn't want to do
    Tip #1: Understand the truth about bullying

    • Walk away from the bully. Bullies want to know they have control over your emotions so don’t react with anger or retaliate with physical force. If you walk away, ignore them, or calmly and assertively tell them you’re not interested in what they have to say, you’re demonstrating that they don’t have control over you.
    • Protect yourself. If you can’t walk away and are being physically hurt, protect yourself so you can get away. Your safety is the first priority.
    • Report the bullying to a trusted adult. If you don’t report threats and assaults, a bully will often become more and more aggressive. In many cases adults can find ways to help with the problem without letting the bully know it was you who reported them.
    • Repeat as necessary. Like the bully, you may have to be relentless. Report each and every bullying incident until it stops. There is no reason for you to ever put up with bullying.
    Tip #2: Reframe the problem of bullying

    By changing your attitude towards bullying you can help regain a sense of control.
    • Try to view bullying from a different perspective. The bully is an unhappy, frustrated person who wants to have control over your feelings so that you feel as badly as they do. Don’t give them the satisfaction.
    • Look at the big picture. Bullying can be extremely painful, but try asking yourself how important it will seem to you in the long run. Will it matter in a year? Is it worth getting so upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
    • Focus on the positive. Reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. Make a list and refer to it whenever you feel down.
    • Find the humor. If you’re relaxed enough to recognize the absurdity of a bullying situation, and to comment on it with humor, you’ll likely no longer be an interesting target for a bully.
    • Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control—including the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to bullies.
    Tip #3: Find support from those who don't bully

    Having trusted people you can turn to for encouragement and support will boost your resilience when being bullied. Reach out to connect with family and real friends (those who don’t participate in bullying) or explore ways of making new friends. There are plenty of people who will love and appreciate you for who you are.
    • Find others who share your same values and interests. You may be able to make friends at a youth group, book club, or religious organization. Learn a new sport, join a team, or take up a new hobby such as chess, art, or music.
    • Share your feelings. Talk to a parent, counselor, coach, religious leader, or trusted friend. Expressing what you’re going through can make a huge difference to the way you feel, even if it doesn’t change the situation.
    • Boost your confidence. Exercise is a great way to help you feel good about yourself, as well as reduce stress. Punch a mattress or take a kick boxing class to work off your anger.
    • Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t make a bullying incident worse by dwelling on it or replaying it over and over in your head. Instead, focus on positive experiences you’ve had.
    I have done all thats and has helped alot for me. Still happens but rarly.
  12. I just wanted to say something here, since I've tried to show Jesus' love in my life, people somehow started to accept me. I really don't know why, but I doubt people that know me can even imagine me being bullied, because I have many people that love me.
    It may also be because I'm in a class with good people, for the most part.
    How do you treat the people around you?
  13. I treat people very nice, but i have speach problems so then most of them turn and are very rude amd mean to me. I try my best to be kind and nice to everyone, Never call names, Never rude, Always very nice.
    dadbeaver, Nickblockmaster and 607 like this.
  14. Finch, I know what you mean, I was bullied a lot in school. eventually I really started to focus on other things, meaning my grades severely dropped. I mean from all A to an all C student. I eventually self taught myself to fight. in other words when people started to push me around I would counter it. may it be a pull-throw combo or just a straight up punch in the face.

    after that year which also was the first year I got a detention, I Joined EMC those next 3 years I went from all C to an all A student. EMC really helped me. because all my friends in school were generally bad people and I mean really bad people in such of drugs and almost killing a kid at our school. EMC was really a place where I could talk freely without worrying about having to punch someone in the face.

    the main difference between us is that I took most things on head first. now don't get me wrong, I'm not violent, I just know what I have to do because the school was so unstable.

    EMC is where I really have my friends only maybe 10 of my school friends haven't been in JDC/Jail. 10 may seem like a lot but putting into consideration that I had over 60 friends that's not a lot. those other 50 were also real jerks. In EMC I have to many friends to count. Some may not consider me their friend but honestly almost everyone I talk to is considered my friends in EMC. that's just how much the EMC community means so much to me.

    and bulling verbally was my problem. physically they knew not to mess with me I may not have been in football but my body build style is fairly large. but verbally is where I could never really handle. my rule was if you hit me I'm hitting you back twice as hard. so if they never hit me I would never hit them back.

    Relationship bulling wasn't a problem for me. I Honestly didn't care. in school I never showed an emotions anywhere. even to a really funny joke or something on those lines I didn't laugh. I had the same expression every day at school and not once did it change or a noticeable change anyways.

    the only reason I never told adults at that time is because they say "Don't worry, I will handle it." but they really never did. so everyone in our school learned to handle it by our selves. Again we had really nice teachers but they knew that our school was so unstable that it couldn't be fixed.

    For your 3rd tip I actually had a lot of that those 10 friends I was talking about. we all looked out for eachother. almost as if we were all brothers. because that was really what we were. we may not have had the same parents but we were with each otherevery hour of the day at school and most of the time out of school.

    In the end I know how you felt and may even fell now but I had a different way to handle it. But im glad you found a place here on EMC like I did!:)
    ChickenDice and finch_rocks_1 like this.
  15. Aw, I feel bad for you :( Thank you though, sounds like you're doing better than most people :3 (No offence)
    finch_rocks_1 likes this.
  16. I still get bullied but i have 1 friend she is kind and caring but emc is like her kind caring and is my home forever i will never leave emc is my best friend my body guard from evil and danger my friend for life
    finch_rocks_1 likes this.
  17. Yea, With me, i could never do that, I was never a strong one, i am able to lift stuff that is 300 pounds, but could never punch someone, I dont even know how. I was able to lift heavy stuff as i grew up as a antique dealer and had to move those old heavy Vendo 44's, Vendo 80's Gas Pumps and so much more. I was the one who would setup the booth and make sure it looked really good. But like i say when it comes to fights, i was never able to stop/fight back, Just not me.
  18. lol ur like me just gotta face all of them no hitting back but as a girl i have a strength that is kicking and girls :p
    finch_rocks_1 likes this.
  19. To make things worst, My dad's Gril Friend does not and has never liked me, Infact she hates me so much, she said she would get me commited to a Insane Institue, and she threw my old laptop down the stairs, I havd had to replace over 4,000 dollars of electronics that she had broke, she even attacked me and i got a scare on my arm from it. Me and my dad are tring our best to get the house up for sale and move. Heck she hates me so much she wont let me eat food out of our kitchen, I do all the cooking and when she does she always makes something i dont like, or not enough for me.
    CaziCookie likes this.
  20. Uhm... does your dad know this, or does he just like... tell you to get over it?
    finch_rocks_1 and 607 like this.