Fortunately, Nigel was fairly happy on his little island, and stayed there even when the tide lowered.
Unfortunately, there weren't any turtles on the island, a fact that would eventually come to destroy his successful career and permanently land him jobless; PERMANENTLY, I say! Oooooh, I'm going to be to be able to use this turtle card in 50 pages or so, and it's gonna be amazing! For me, not for Nigel. It'll stink for Nigel.
Fortunately, with Donald trumps failed attempt to abolish Nigel's dictatorship, and the current instability in the UK's government system, Nigel was forgotten and replaced by a proper leader who's name was also, (coincidentally) Nigel.
Unfortunately, our Nigel after becoming unemployed went into a dark depression where he stayed home watching reruns of doctor who and eating so much ice-cream he should have bought stock in the ice cream business
Fortunately, though he made all these mistakes, he would always have his monkey friend that he made on the island that he lives on.
Unfortunately, after the craziness left all was gone except a dark hole of depression, sadness, and cynicalness, along with a general mistrust and hate for other human beings.
Unfortunately the bright metaphorical light outside his metaphorical hole made him go blind and he was forced to learn braille.
Fortunately, while learning braille, he made many new blind friends and they had blind friend meetings once a week at Nigel's villa on his island, this made him happy and filled him with joy every day.
Unfortunately, Nigel's son he never knew about was searching for his father and couldn't find him. His son's name was Nathaniel.
Fortunately, Nathaniel was a wealthy circus performer who could touch his feet to his head while tightrope walking with this hands and reciting the alphabet backwards.
Fortunately, the case Nathanial filed against the child and his negligent parents won him enough money to afford a private jet. Also, as if by a twist of fate, the lawyer that won him the case was his father Nigel's personal attorney and this led Nathanial on an epic journey to find his father. Edit : I was ninja'd but we have the same basic concept so continue!
Unfortunately, the start of this epic journey began when Nathaniel's jet crashed on a harsh island called "Lian Yu" let's see how many get the reference bwahaha
Fortunately, nobody cares about copyright laws and his epic journey began with him falling off a cliff and surviving.
