Legit needs (dating) help.

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Mrlegitislegit, Sep 23, 2012.

  1. Legit, how old are you and this girl?
  2. So I'm PMing advice.
  3. Ok, back to normal.
  4. You could reply to the advice you know…
  5. Considering he posted a Grade 8 Goals thread, I'd say 12 or 13.

    I wasn't too worried on the whole "dating" thing around that age. You shouldn't pressure her into going out. If it comes down to you asking and her saying she has to think about it, don't get all creepy and press the issue or she'll definitely say no. If she says "I have to think about it." Don't assume that it's No.
  6. Yeah, I know. I'm not really worried about it all.
  7. Are you worried that you SHOULD be worried?
  8. I cant tell if this is:
    A. accurate
    B. meant to be offensive
    C. both A and B
    D. none of the above

    Your bitterness suggests you have had some tramatic experiences in the past, however, you are partially right..
    I'm 32 and it's been quite some time since I was in public school, though I am in college now, they are completely different. I have had my share of success and failures in relationships. What you're saying about "jerks get all the girls" probably seems accurate on the surface, but in my experience, its not the "being a jerk" that attracts women, its the confidence of not seeming desperate.

    A few people have mentioned this already, but I will restate: confidence is a must. If you seem to eager or desperate, you've lost before you even begin. Thats not to say act unintrested, you can show intrest in someone without seeming desperate. But you dont want to appear as if being turned down will crush you. The image you want to convey is your a guy that wants to hang out with a girl because you think they are fun and you want to spend time with them and your ok with whatever that may lead to, if its a romantic relationship then thats great, but if it's not than that is ok too. Unfortunately, I've found this is something you can not fake. You can't pretend to be confident if you're not and you can't pretend that NOT being in a relationship wont bother you if it indeed will bother you. Chemsitry between two people either exsists or it doesnt.. you cant force it, you can only try to present yourself as appealing as possible and hope for the best.

    My advice? Except that you can't control something that's outside of your ability to control, ie. beginning a relationship with a girl. That decision isn't yours alone, both parties have to want that. You cant force this person to like you, no matter how badly you might want that to be the case. Try and dismiss your expectations of what you envision with this girl, instead just aim to try and spend time with them and let nature take its course. Try to take advantage of every opportunity to spend time with this person and make a point to let them know you have an intrest in spending time with them. An easy way to do this is to avoid asking her on a date, but instead maybe invite her to join you and maybe some friends at a event. Halloween is coming up and there are lots of things going on around then that would fit this criteria. If your not of legal drinking age, a bar is out, but if you drink anyways (illegally) maybe theres a party coming up? Haunted hayrides and haunted houses, parties, zombie crawls, bonfires, etc are all good events to invite her to. This way, the expectations and akwardness of a "date" do not exsist, there are other people around that will act as "buffers" and help to fill in those akward silences that can usually arise when its just the two of you. The idea of having a fun at a particular event should be more appealing to her then putting all the focus on the two of you being alone together just to try and spark a relationship. If she enjoys hanging out with you at a social event, then she will more likely to agree to a more intimate "date" later on.

    Assuming you are both high school aged, then I would expect the idea of hanging out with you in a social gathering with others rather than a formal date will probably appeal to her more. Plus, she will be more likely to assume that even if the conversation between the two of you goes stale, there will be other things to do and other people to hang out with so theres a much lower chance that she might find herself in a uncomfortable position.

    Above all, keep it light hearted and focus and having a good time. Make sure your make it clear to her that you are looking forward to hanging out with her outside of the normal setting that you normally see her, "we should hang out outside of school, theres a (party, festival, cult meeting, etc) coming up that me and few friends are going to, it would be awesome if you came." You dont sound desperate and you have shown intrest in spending time with her. Thats all you need to do. Try to keep yourself relaxed and confident with no expectations other than enjoying yourself. if she agrees to go, then when you find yourself around her dont act as if she is the only thing going on that you're intrested in and shadow her around everywhere she goes. Enjoy yourself and she will notice you and see that you are fun to be around. Picture this scenario: she looks over and sees you and some people laughing and having a blast, she thinks to herself "Wow, look at how fun and exciting he is, I'd really like to be involved with whatever they're doing! He seems like the life of the party! I bet he'd be fun to be around and get to know.." at this point you've made yourself appealing and all you have to do is include her in whatever it is your doing.

    I hope this helps in someway. Again, you've already lost if you come off needy or desperate. Concentrate on confidence and showing intrest in her and having a good time with her, and you've done everything you can to make yourself appealing. If it doesnt work out the way you invisioned it, dont let that get you down... there's always tomorrow and you never know who you might meet in the future.
    Twitch1 and penfoldex like this.
  9. Well dang, Good Guy Dejaja blew my post out of the water. I chuckled at cult meeting by the way :)
  10. HAHA, realistically though you can trump anything I say on this matter since you yourself are a female...(I'm correct on that right? You are anatomically female?:D)
    PandasEatRamen likes this.
  11. LOL Yes I'm anatomically female. But you summed it all up pretty good :)
  12. the only thing I can say is… *drumroll*














    Remember to snip the post
  13. I'm sorry, but I dont follow... :confused:
  14. Because I'm too lazy to start another thread, I'll present my problem here. So I like this girl, but I don't really know her all that well. I mean, we've talked and stuff, but not to a degree in which she would consider dating me. My problem is, I don't have any guts to ask her out because she's always by friends and that would make it socially awkward. Help? (Legit, sorry for hijacking your thread.)
  15. Read the veeeeeerrrrrrryyy bottom of the post
  16. I can only assume that I violated some forum code of conduct regarding quoting posts...?
    I'm not really sure, but is there something about *sniping* posts that I dont understand?
    Please elaborate...

    I'm not really a forum/blog kinda guy, so if there's a unwritten rule that I'm not aware of, please enlighten me.

    Sorry for being off topic.
  17. I have an idea that might work. Get her phone number (if you don't already have it) and text her. Tell her that the next time you see her, you need to talk to her alone. Then when you see her, get her to talk to you privately away from her friends.

    Of course, I am not really the person that you want advice for stuff like this from so I don't know how well this plan will work...
    I am not responsible for this plan not working.
  18. Fine print and grey text…crafty. :D
    I don't know. Maybe she'll give me her number, maybe she won't and be really puzzled why I would want it. Any ifeas of a casual conversation? I could use that more.
  19. Most everyone usually quotes the post and then -snips- it if it's really long. He apparently got lost somewhere because the post he's telling you to snip is your own.
  20. Most likely, if you ask for her number, she will give it to you.
    And a casual conversation ceases to be casual if it is planned.
    mba2012 likes this.