Keph's Random Ramblings

Discussion in 'Writers' Corner' started by Kephras, May 2, 2014.

  1. "So whatcha think, luv? You in?"
    .
    Risse struggled to keep her expression neutral, but she felt her ears twitch in annoyance anyway. Her voice was tight, forced. "You haven't thought this through very well, Warren."
    .
    The man across from her turned a dark red under the tan and weathered skin of his face, making the grayish stubble all the more visible. Heavyset, with yellowed teeth, a flat upturned nose, and small piggish eyes to match, he resembled nothing so much as a grumpy warthog. Coupled with a penchant for long, rambling tales and a tendency to snort when upset, it was little wonder his nickname in the back alleys was "the Boar." Or, if they were being less charitable, "Boar-en." A vein in his temple throbbed as he lowered his voice to a quiet grumble.
    .
    "Listen missy, me'n Brody worked it all out just fine. Long as we stick to the plan, no harm'll come to anyone."
    .
    Risse's tail lashed irritably as she hissed back, "I know how Brody 'works things out,' Warren. You popped the idea to him while half-drunk, he scribbled it down on a scrap of paper, and it sat on his desk for a week until he decided to notice it was there. He spent half an hour or less leafing through town records, talked to a footpad whose cousin's brother's best friend used to work there, and threw the whole thing together at the last minute." Her fierce retort turned the Boar an even darker shade of red, heading toward purple, as she continued, "You've got no contingencies, no fall-backs, one exit strategy, and you don't even know where the goods are, assuming you make it in at all! This isn't a plan, it's wishful thinking!"
    .
    "I've been puttin' this together for a month!" he exclaimed, leaning over the table to glare at her, as if the force of his gaze - and perhaps his breath - would cow the halfbreed into compliance. Risse was one of the best thieves in the city, and he knew his heist had no chance of success without her. Risse, however, was long accustomed to his behavior and not at all intimidated.
    .
    "And the jewels will still be there for another month," she answered firmly. "Think about it, Warren - what if one of your light-fingered apprentices gets ambitious or greedy and picks the wrong strongbox? The Montecci dragons keep some of their baubles in that same vault. You know what happens if you steal from a dragon."
    .
    The color, purple and tan alike, drained very suddenly from Warren's face. "Aye," he choked. "Dead in a week." Seven days, nearly to the hour, before the offended dragon found the thief and claimed the perpetrator's life along with its belongings. No one knew how they managed it so precisely - no wizard, sorcerer, or magician had ever managed to find a magical link between a dragon and its treasure. Some priests claimed it was imbued with a portion of the dragon's soul, but none had found proper evidence of this either. And certainly, the dragons weren't telling. Whatever the reason, thieves had long ago learned that one never took treasure from a dragon without permission. Clearly, the Boar had forgotten that detail in his eagerness to penetrate the magistrate's vault.
    .
    Risse breathed a heavy sigh, ears folding flat against her head. For all his faults, Warren was a friend. A friend who'd likely get himself or others killed without her help. "I'll do it," she relented. "But we're doing this my way, not Brody's. We need contingencies, alternatives, fall-backs - and proper information," the halfbreed added with a frown, waving a finger at him. "None of this third- and fourth-hand rumor mongering. I don't mind lightening the magistrate's pockets, but we'll do it properly. Understood?"
    .
    The Boar nodded emphatically, some of the color returning to his cheeks. "Aye luv, we'll do it your way. We'll do it your way. When d'we start?"
    .
    "Tonight. After dinner," she declared, motioning a waitress over. Warren was a frequent patron of this tavern, and the staff knew to keep their own business until called. Good manners were typically rewarded in a sizable gratuity. "Of course," Risse added, smiling sweetly at him,"you're buying."
    .
    Warren grumbled, but his heart wasn't in it. He was already counting the profits in his head. With Risse behind him, their plan couldn't fail. And after all, he told himself, what she didn't know wouldn't hurt him...
  2. Well I gueeeesss it was okay. :p LOL!!
    Sooo, when ya gonna add the next installment cause I'd like some more please. =D
    Kephras likes this.
  3. Wonder if I should start a writing thread, I do immensely enjoy the activity.
    crystaldragon13 and Kephras like this.
  4. My opinion? I think that would be a wonderful thing to do Sage. If it weren't for writers some of us would have no new worlds or adventures to experience past our own 'sphere' and experiences. There is a story out there for everyone of us .. some yet to be written .. be the story to that speaks to you and you'll find others more than will to come along on that ride. I mean .. look at what the Tiger's done .. how many of us have willingly tagged along .. waiting with baited breath to collectively live the story as it's unfolded? <3 I'm looking forward to what you have to offer and how that grows. Oh.. to answer the question. xD sure! I'd be interested
    MoreMoople and Kephras like this.
  5. Dear Mr. Kilroy,
    As you know, our research department relies exclusively on funding provided by grants from the state's educational budget. This budget is shared state-wide, and so it is necessary for us to be as economical as possible with any experiments we conduct here. This is especially true concerning the use of advanced equipment like the particle accelerator.

    For your understanding, the PA requires a minimum of fifty labor-hours for maintenance after each use. This is in addition to the substantial load it places on the power grid during operation, the wear on delicate and expensive sensor arrays, and the refined elements used in the accelerator itself. The total cost of operation is approximately $100,000 per use - not counting the two months spent cleaning the device after your last "experiment."

    Finally, there is the humane aspect to consider. While some of our research does rely on animal testing, none of these involve the use of our particle accelerator. After careful discussion with both the Board of Education and our own department heads, we can find absolutely no point of scientific knowledge to be gained from your latest research.

    For these reasons, we are revoking your access to the particle accelerator for one year and will be thoroughly investigating the scientific merit of your research. Additionally, we remind you that it is strictly prohibited to place a live sheep (or a dead one, for that matter) inside the acclerator's chamber.

    Thank you,
    Dr. Hamilton Wolcott, Ph.D
  6. ...And they were screamin'

    Why, why can't we watch Pewdiepie?
    Couldn't fav or sub a thing 'cause the website was fried
    No squealin' Markiplier, no jacksepticeye -
    Oh, this'll be the day the net dies
    This'll be the day the net dies...

    So Youtube apparently crashed today.
    If for some reason the reference above is lost on you, here is your context.
    Don McLean - American Pie
    Ritunn, 607, khixan and 3 others like this.
  7. Oh so poetic and now.. why oh why can't I see my Pewdiepie?
    Kephras likes this.
  8. Keph, please tell me you took part in the Poetry (and) or Prose contest.... I love reading through this thread, especially when i've been homebound and am bored xD
    Kephras and 607 like this.
  9. I did not. Writing is more of an escape for me, confronting deeply personal topics like "life changes" isn't something I'm inclined to do publicly. Maybe if the next one is more whimsical.

  10. I wonder what the intended effect of that image is.
    Kephras likes this.
  11. To make you ask questions. It worked!
    crystaldragon13 and 607 like this.
  12. Some super-classy Dad Jokes just for Hashhog and BK:

    You've read the Dr. Seuss classic "Hop on Pop," but are you familiar with the breastfeeding sequel, "Nom on Mom"?

    Marie, making 5th attempt to get infant latched on: "I suck at this."
    Me, across the room monching teriyaki chickens: "No, she's supposed to suck at that."

    ... "Not even a chuckle? Darn."
    "Sorry hun, I'm trying to concentrate on this."
    "Alright, well just keep me abreast of things."

    Yes, I resurrected this dead thread for boob jokes. You're welcome.
    ThaKloned, Canucks_, 607 and 7 others like this.
  13. One of these days I need to devote an hour or so to reading through this entire thread.
    607, __Devil_, Kephras and 1 other person like this.
  14. Tell her I said the reply she's looking for is "Moooooo". I said that to everyone for many many months ;)
  15. For the dozenth time, Sam looked over his shoulder at the flashing lights behind him. They didn't appear to be getting closer, but nor were they vanishing into the distance. In hindsight, arson probably wasn't the most subtle diplomatic solution he could've picked. "Well," he huffed, "I'm out of ideas. You got anything?"
    The Fish Man, whose name he still hadn't learned, nodded slowly. "I do, but you're not going to like it. Pop the trunk, would you?"

    Sam's chest tightened, forcing out a sound that was partly resigned sigh and partly terrified squeak. Fish Man was right, he didn't like this at all, but their present predicament had exactly two options, "Bad," and "Worse," and it was growing increasingly difficult to tell them apart. Hence the arson, for instance. "You sure you want to let him out?"

    "Look on the bright side," replied the Fish Man glibly, "at least they get their FBI agent back."
  16. Kephras, let me know if you ever write a novel :D
    Kephras likes this.