Community Message: Teenage Relationship Drama

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Krysyy, Dec 20, 2016.

  1. No, I am not. However, I've been a 'mom' in a sense for a long time due to family situations. Maybe one day I'll get to actually enjoy the cute years.
    Sgt_Pepper4, ILTG, ThaKloned and 6 others like this.
  2. Edit: Okay. My original post was unhelpful. Added my almost entire thoughts on this subject.

    What even.

    This doesn't address the issue at all. It's a pretty message aimed at a broad audience - while I can respect the message and can advocate Krysyy's help with that subject (I don't know where I'd be without her offering me that kind of advice), the 'relationship' (actually, relationships) involved with this, and/or their certain toxicity, were left unaddressed.

    Was this player even ever talked to in a PM and told to stop? All I ever saw was staff removing comments or telling people to 'stop being hurtful' (which, no, in my opinion, they were not), which doesn't help at all. It just added fuel to the fire. The player was never once told to stop - and if they were, the message obviously didn't really get to them the way it should have.

    My gripe with this isn't even the public posting of the feelings towards the two relationships. It's the manner in which it was done - blatant guilt tripping. The manner in which this player seemed to be trying to rip apart someone's friendship and causing distress and drama for three players and trying to call people to arms through their statuses. This went on for months. I had someone come to me twice - maybe three times, I don't remember - for advice on how to deal with this person. I finally confronted this person when their time on the drama throne got flat out annoying and was responded to with 'yeah, I get it'. They then told me to 'not get involved' - if I have people, friends, telling me about you and you're going to post public statuses about your drama, I think I reserve the right to involve myself, no?

    Said person continued their BS. Why was this allowed to go on for as long as it did? Seems like the staff is tolerating someone playing mind games on people and not enforcing the 'no drama' rule adequately to me.

    An extra note: I was polite and approached the player in a calm manner. I was not hostile towards them. I kept it civil. I can relate to the position they're in. I even offered advice on how to deal with the situation. Just a disclaimer so people don't go after me and tell me that I must've been acting like an idiot towards this person.

    Whatever. I'm tired. There's no point in writing this anyway since it'll just get looked over, because boohoo, drama or criticism. Or I'll just get a reply with something like "shut up and don't involve yourself, you know nothing of the situation" like I've seen many players get when even offering something as simple as a suggestion. Like I said, whatever.

    >tfw u live in a country where dating doesn't exist
    No. Unless you're doing what the person this about is about did, I see absolutely no reason to do so. EMC is a helpful place to come vent, as long as it isn't done in a hurtful manner. If the person involved also plays here, it's more of a grey area and I might agree with you in some cases.

    But... no. I'd hate to see EMC regress in terms of 'free speech'. Makes you feel like you can't talk about anything with the staff - a big reason why I disliked suggesting or confronting them with stuff three years ago. I don't think they're perfect nowadays - in fact I feel some fear writing stuff like this post that I'll get banned or something - but there's been progress. Why throw all that away?
    TomvanWijnen, ILTG, ShelLuser and 4 others like this.
  3. Thank you so much for this! I was approached and gave the best advice I knew too and didn't mind. However, sometimes others need professional help. But I being a survivor of certain events, I gave my story and hoped it helped. I agree others do not need to fan the flames. That only makes it so much worse! I hope and pray that the people involved get the help they all deserve and so desperately need. Thanks again for posting this!

    Skitz
  4. I have to say this also. I am not ashamed and quite frequently give my testimonies to help professionals with patients that still feel they are the only ones going through the terms they are faced with. I am a Veteran. I have PTSD, anxiety, and depression at times. My husband helps me the most honestly. But I have come to learn, that when someone speaks to you in confidence, even if you know they need professional help, you still listen. Trust me it can save a life. No one listened to me when I was hurt and afraid. I am a suicide survivor. I felt no one cared to listen to me. Get professional help. Go see this or that. How about I can't afford that, and do not know any other resources? Nobody helped me, others screamed in my face to simply get over it. Others fanned the flames and turned it into this huge Bully mob. It was awful. My best friend, finally realized how bad I was and happened to come over that day. I owe her my life! I am thankful that I am still here. I continue to help others. But at the same time there is a limit on how much help we can give as friends and family. They must find a resource. I have given this person so many resources. I just really hope they take up the notion to use them! Anyways, I agree also sometimes when coming to your friends for help, can be a bad idea. They may seem rude because they don't know how to handle the situation. So they may seem as if they are rude or don't care. That isn't it at all they honestly don't know what to tell you! I am going to leave a resource you can gain by telephone or internet and they are amazing! I really hope you young ones realize how serious this all has turned. We are all human behind these screens. We all hurt and cry. We all laugh and have fun! Words do hurt! Think before you intentionally bully or hurt someones feelings! I being a mother and married, have been there I was bullied so bad in school it was awful! You know the rest as I said above. I am proud of the life I have! Everyone should! You are all amazing people! I am honored to know each and everyone of you. If I don't know you don't be shy!

    Love Always
    Skitz

    PS here is the resource. www.thehopeline.com
  5. I disagree. A counter example, being relationship talk which I think added to the forums in a positive way: Olaf's story. It was very interesting to follow and I don't think it caused any drama, while it might have helped Olaf.
    _Bunni__ likes this.
  6. Whenever I am confronted with teenage-hormone-driven-drama, there is only one good place to go. This "forum" is has all the best advice for those with an aching heart. As an adult who is not in those golden love years, I cannot feel true love anymore. I must rely on those younger than me to provide insight, meme by meme, into their society.
  7. Thanks for this post, Krysyy. I'm glad that someone was finally able to address this, or at least talk about it.

    Drama is bad enough. Teenage drama? Even worse. Teenage romance drama? Gosh.

    :p
    We3_MPO, _Bunni__ and jkjkjk182 like this.