[Advice needed] So i lost all my friends...

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by jtc0999, May 20, 2014.

  1. So, the school year has come to a close. Since school has let out, all of my true friends from school have moved away. I now have no friends. Everyone else at school fall into a few catagories (I.e Inmature, jock, ect.) which i don't fit in, all of my steam friends and xbox friends ignore me, and the rest who talk to me just insult and "Bully" me.

    I basically have no friends anymore. Any... thoughts on how to make friends or even KIT with the the ones leaving?
    Chascarrillo and BlackKnight1021 like this.
  2. your best friends will always "bully" you its just interaction. we as a species are competitive by nature and usually manifest that feature by cracking jokes about a persons inadequacy crack em right back and voila, you just bonded. dont bother "keeping in touch" with folks who are moving far its a hassle and in the end they end up changing into a different person then you were friends with. theres atleast a million people in your area who are your age with similar interests cast a net.

    lastly dont concern yourself with the idea that you NEED to have lasting friendships to be happy. this is the worst myth ever sold to people. 200 years ago people lived so far apart that the concept of friendship was they spoke to me and didnt try to kill me, these days if you dont stay in constant contact through various media outlets you feel like a loner or a bad friend. this fallacy isnt true. find a hobby and do it alone, listen to your own thoughts while doing it and you may find that you like yourself more then you know, and then who needs friends when you are your own best friend.
  3. Expand your net. I completely see what you are saying. I have moved around often and has to make new friends. I can assure you that everyone does not fall into those categories. There will be people who be friendly to you if you give them a chance. You just need to look. I know that it can be hard, but if you don't give up, you will find friends. People can't be classified easily. Even though someone may seem to be in a category doesn't mean they can't talk to people in other categories.
    607 and BlackKnight1021 like this.
  4. True, me and my friends make jokes between each other. Like all the time.

    Also, you will yes or yes find a new friend in school, someone to hangout after school, or to play video games :D.
    BlackKnight1021 likes this.
  5. Don't you worry what grade are you in are you in high school or going to be (Please answer) I truly understand about how your feeling i lost all my true friends and the people i attempt to hang out ignore me but focus on something else to truly help your self get your mind of things focus on how your doing in school for example if your doing under-average work hard to earn above average marks or if your average strive for greatness i hope this truly helped you i know it helped me a lot but not everyone is the same
    BlackKnight1021 likes this.
  6. The truth is that you can't really make friends on purpose. If you try too hard, you'll just look like "that kid who tries way too hard", and that repels any possible friends. However, you will make friends naturally just by doing things you like and associating with people who like those things. Focus on your own life, keep your chin up and do your best to stay optimistic. Friends will come to you.
  7. Thanks for the input y'all, it means alot :)

    Thing is, i go to a school which is ALL about sports. I like one sport, which is Tennis. However, many people at my school hate tennis, and thus i cannot connect that way. My other hobbies are singing and acting (Theatre), and, with my school being about sports, i only know three people who also like to act, two of which are moving to another school. So, if i want to make friends, i really have to "Try hard".
    BlackKnight1021 likes this.
  8. I'd like to offer my two cents. *takes back a penny*

    jtc, I've considered you a friend for a long time and, quite frankly, I've missed seeing you around. You're likable, funny, ethical, smart and fun to interact with. Personally, I think your not giving yourself enough credit and I think you're just trying too hard. Amy Grant's song "Don't Try So Hard" comes to mind. Anyway, you made quite a few friends right here on EMC while just being yourself. Apparently we still have some friendship value considering this post. If you just continue to be yourself, the friends you would want to have will come to you. Being fake will get you fake friends who aren't worth having. Of course now I notice that it's exactly what Tiburok just said. That's what I get for not reading the whole thread first. *takes back the other penny*

    Hope to catch you ingame sometime. I'll be on more once my broken wrist heals up. Long story, I'll fill you in later. For now, my pain meds are kicking in so I'll be deep in conversation with my desk lamp soon. :D
  9. i seem to be having that same problem aswell, as im homeschooled i dont have much interaction with other kids outside of my youth group and a few friends around the neighborhood, and some of my friends have just randomly stopped talking to me, what i would advise is start going to a youth group (if you dont already) and start talking with people and see if they click, and if they dont, dont give up, keep looking, as there is always someone out there who has the same interests as you, well, thats all i have to say is good luck my friend, and ill see you around
    BlackKnight1021 likes this.
  10. I have seven main friends and all the other ones are jerks primarily, a couple others but not the best friends.
    BlackKnight1021 likes this.
  11. I am in a youth group, but we see each other only on Wednesday and Sunday.

    *Takes back two pennies and pockets them* :p

    Anyway, this era is so self centered and selfish, it is truly difficult to make friends. People aren't always looking for Ethical people, because they don't give two Flips about that. There are very few people who do, and those are my friends. If y'all didn't know, i was bullied in elementry, and had thoughts of suicide. I shared this with my choir class. Two of the girls actually became sad and hugged me, while the rest of the girls and the other boys blew it off as nothing.

    I am also very... Mature for my age, which makes finding friends even more difficult. I have a friend who is immature and says "Your Mom" a lot, and it gets annoying after a while. If he could AT LEAST stop saying Your Mom, we'd spend a lot more time together.

    All in all, the problem resides in both my personality and in other people.

    BlackKnight1021 likes this.
  12. Your mom's in a youth group
    OHHHHHH got em
    Chascarrillo, 607 and HylianNinja like this.
  13. Try not to categorize people - just accept them for what they are, and those who wish to make friends with you will do likewise regarding you. I think most people at one time or another go through hard times at school especially at the beginning of teenage years, I think it has a lot to do with the transition from childhood to adulthood, so in that sense you are not alone. Maybe try broadening your outlook - are you a member of a tennis/sports club? I had a great time when I was young at our local courts (also played golf with a few folk my age as well). From one with the experience of age lol:rolleyes:
    BlackKnight1021 likes this.
  14. Same thing happened to me a few years ago, when all the friends I had grew up to be some pretty big jerks. Try some stuff OUTSIDE of school. Join some summer camps that interest you, join a summer sports team, just expand your horizons companion-wise. If you like to do something, look for a camp that does it, there are camps for EVERYTHING.
    ZBSDKryten likes this.
  15. I am sad that you are going thru a difficult time.... It is truly heart wrenching when the people you care about move away and very normal to feel the way you do. It can be very hard to be comfortable in school when you don't share the same interests with the people around you.

    While I agree that sometimes the insults and jokes can be friendly and a way to bond, I'm sure you are smart enough to know when they are not friendly and being used as a way to put you down. You have to watch your back in school and try to not let the mean people see when they "get" to you. Sharing deeply personal feelings in a group setting can be risky. Be very careful about who you share your feelings and past troubles with...there are some very predatory people out there who will use it against you. There are also some very caring and kind people out there so keep looking. Those are the ones you can open up to safely.

    As other people have said, the best way to find friends is to pursue your interests and get involved so that you come into contact with more people who share your interests and would make good friends. It can be difficult to try new things but it is worth it. Look for school clubs, church activities, volunteer opportunities, think outside the box.

    One thing you might try if you are old enough is to get a part time job. Having a job gives you a purpose and confidence. Having money is empowering. Having coworkers gives you a sense of community and team work. Just an idea, I don't know if it is practical for you...

    One last thought...life is all about change. When you are older you will still face difficulties and sad times but they will be different and feel different than what you face now. When you are older and have the power to make more choices about your life, you will feel more in control and more confident. As an adult, if you don't like your workplace, you can choose to look for a new job. Its not so easy as a young adult, you can't just choose to go to another school.

    So just remember this difficult time will not last forever. Concentrate on learning to be the best you can be and life will give you many opportunities. I hope this helps. :)
    Irbobdum, jtc0999 and ZBSDKryten like this.
  16. Do what I do and isolate yourself to various Internet forums (this advice is of incredibly debatable).
    But seriously, I find that online relationships can be just as fulfilling as ones where the people are visible. So, you can always try that?
  17. Jtc...
    #1 Be happy
    #2 Have fun
    #3 When in rome...do as the romans do. (yes get outside your comfort zone)
    #4 Interact with others, but don't burden them
    #5 We are all alone when it really comes down to it
    #6 You can only ever make one person happy.

    If you believe your 'true' friends moved away and so now you no longer have friends, those were only just acquaintances, and never really friends to begin with. Most people in high school are just people you hang out with and have fun with...not true friends. You will figure that out years later.

    Why do people bully you? Don't let trash get you down. Just because they are miserable inside doesn't mean you have to let their sourness infect you and get you down too. There is just tons to life, and school is tough cause you are forced to be with a load of goons. Once you are off on your own, you will find your own click.

    Totally agree with looking for a job and earning some money. Money is awesome if you never let it control you.
    Gives opportunity for a car, clothes, and the fun materialistic things in life.

    What do you like for hobbies?
    For me its working on cars, going out, being in nature, and basically having fun wherever I go.
  18. in that case, try to meet up with your friends from your youth group for mini golf or something like that =P
  19. Hahahaha, I know that, I know that so bad xD

    Somehow I've got very nice people around me though (well, at school at least) and I am being accepted by them.
    I don't know why though, that changed when I got older, because two years ago I didn't really have friends like that.
  20. I don't think there is a "Play videogames and lose weight by doing so" camp :p

    That's the thing. In elementry, everyone was everyone's friend. It was so easy to be friends with the "Popular", even if you were a nerd. Now, you have to be athletic, funny, dress nice (I don't have to worry about that because my school has uniforms), fit, knowledgeable, and so much more.

    I'm too young :(

    Since my school is so sportsy, its all about football and, secondly, basketball. I gave basketball a try, but didn't like it because how stressful it could be. And when i was on B team, ALL the "Popular" kids accepted me and talked to me. Now they just don't talk to me since i moved to tennis (Which only 7 people play, including myself), and that is not a well liked sport. Also, no one really likes to sing, act, or game. So, i'm teh oddball :p