Can boys and girls be friends...?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by synth_apparition, Feb 1, 2013.

?

Do you think boys and girls can be friends?

Yes 103 vote(s) 90.4%
No 11 vote(s) 9.6%
  1. Yes, I know that. And my friends have told me time and time again
    "You can't stay as just 'best friends' forever, because we already know you have feelings for her and already know she has feelings for you"

    If we go out, that's fine with me. We're both in depression-like states, we're both hated by almost everyone, we both trust eachother, and...well, there's some personal stuff that should go here...but since it's personal, I don't want it here. We both promised to never tell anyone...
    But if the relationship screws up and we never be friends again...well, my life will officially be ruined...because before I found EMC, I was going to suicide, and now EMC is wearing off somehow - and I probably won't be here much longer. If I were to lose one of my only friends, especially the only one that listens to me and cares for me over some stupid crap caused by love, then so be it. I don't want to feel love anymore - i'll just plan a suicide again and make sure nothing gets in the way.
  2. Suicide should not be the answer to your problems, god forbid something bad happens. If it does(which it won't), instead of giving up, you should try to fix it. Instead of thinking of the relationship screwing up, think about the nicer side to this. You'd be dating someone that you know, you trust, you talk to pretty much everyday, and you like them. Chances are since she likes you back and trusts you and all that. If everyone hates you, just forget about them. They shouldn't be part of your problem, some of them are probably just strangers to you.

    The only thing that I can see right now with you screwing up a relationship with this girl is if you start talking to other girls, which is probably not gonna happen by the way you're describing your feelings for her. All relationships have bumps in them, and almost everyone gets past them. If you do get into a relationship with her and you hit one of those bumps, don't just give up, because what do you have to lose? If what you're saying is true(and I'm not saying it isn't, not at all), then why shouldn't you try to fix your relationship with the one person on the planet that you know and trust?

    My point: If you do get into a relationship, and for some reason it screws up, whatever that reason is, you shouldn't give up on her. You should fix it, at least restore your friendship with her god forbid it gets messed up pretty bad. The way you describe your relation with her makes it sound like she's the one for you. Don't think about how it will fail, think about how it will work.
    heyaroo likes this.
  3. Suicide is definitely NOT the way to go. Suicide is a sin. That will not get you good chances into getting into heaven (if you believe in this stuff). You are taking away the life that God gave you, so he thinks you must hate him for giving you a life if you are just going to suicide. You still have a log life ahead of you, make it a long and good one.
    jacob5089 likes this.
  4. I don't believe in a God.
    HylianNinja and mba2012 like this.
  5. No Soul, I know that Feeling to the point you wouldn't believe me, It will work out if she is a good person like you.
    SoulPunisher likes this.
  6. Yeah, she is a good person...but a good person like me? I'm a good person? :s
    ^That was my brain speaking xD Almost everybody hates me in my school, so I just think like that. People on EMC and her call me a good person...
    mba2012 and NINJATTILA like this.
  7. To answer your question: Boys and girls can definitely be friends.

    Huge wall of text alert:
    I understand how you're feeling, my best guy friend and I have been friends since 3rd grade but then I told him I liked him when I was 12. I wasn't thinking about the consequences if I told him, I just did over skype call and hung up really quick after. He was confused, I was confused-but then he told me up front that he didn't like me because he thought of us as nothing more than best friends. We didn't talk for 2 months (I am glad it was during the summer or else it would've been extremely awkward at school) but then after missing him as my best friend, I messaged him and said "I'm sorry. Can we start over?" And basically 5 years later we are still good friends :)

    And I agree what maask said. Don't give up on life, I feel like I relate with you about this but after I was rejected by my friend I wanted to commit suicide. It was the lowest point I've ever been in. I felt so rejected and he was my best friend; if I couldn't talk to him any longer, why should I live? But then I realized, I can fix this. I realized even if he didn't want a relationship with me, I don't know what I could do without my best friend, so I decided to ask for a second chance. That is what I got and I'm so glad we are still friends and I've never been at the low point ever again.

    I don't know if this helped at all but I just related with you. I'm not usually open. There's always bumps in the roads with relationships but it will all work out later :)
    penfoldex, margaritte and NINJATTILA like this.
  8. When I was younger a ton of people didn't like me at school and like you I had a girl that was my best friend. Really I found girls to just be better company. Pre-teen/teenage guys tend to be perverted or complete jerks. Having people hate you at school may make you feel lonely, but it also saves a lot of drama. I'm positive there are others that feel the same way.

    About you and her:

    If you both really like each other but you don't want to ruin your friendship, then don't progress in your relationship until your both comfortable with it. The odds of two younger kids having a successful relationship (several months at best) are very low, so don't spoil it with a relationship that early. If she's worth it, then you can wait.

    About the suicide:
    Well there are a lot of things I could post about it, but there's only a couple I want to say.

    The first being that the majority of people who have attempted suicide (and obviously didn't succeed) are grateful because as soon as they made the move that should have killed them they regretted it. I think I saw that you said you were 12 or something. There's really nothing you could do by now to really ENJOY life.

    If you really feel like that, talk to the girl. Express your feelings and thoughts about her and your relationship. If you really can trust her, talk to her about you thinking of suicide. If she's the only one you really care about, she's one of the only people that can help you. Talking to her may seem really difficult, but once you start it will all work it's way out.

    I don't know about your parental situation, but you can always talk to them. They may/may not show it, but they do love you. Even if a parent acts like they don't, they do.

    And finally, I don't want to act like I know your situation. I always felt lonely during school, but everyday I was the kid that put on a fake smile and joked non-stop. Once you find a group of friends just like you, everything will start looking up. It may take a few months to find some more friends, or even years, but you will, and it will be worth the pain you feel now. If you ever just wanna talk, message me or something. I'd love to have a chat :D
    heyaroo likes this.
  9. I too have been in a state of depression but not the girl part. My father left me when I was 5 and he doesn't care about me anymore. I no longer see him or talk to him. Years later while I was in high school I was beaten up by a gang of guys and was made fun of for 2-3 years of high school. I thought about running away but in the back of my mind there are still people that love me a ton, I still have a mother that loves me and I made new friends at school who accept me for who I am.

    You will always have friends. And I'm sure a bunch of people from this community would hate to see you go like thar, I know I would.

    Long story short remember someone always loves you. The past is history, tomorrow's a mystery, but today... Today is a gift and you should cherish it.
    Stay strong my friend :p
    heyaroo likes this.
  10. My best mate is a guy because sadly I go to small boys school, but the girls version of the school is where my best friend goes and she's a girl. So yes definatly, I think yes because it's a difference.
  11. Today, one of my friends were being a complete douche to me and said that they felt depressed. I said you can't feel depressed in a day - and it's a mental illness with emotions, not an emotion. And then he said i've never been there for him and didn't care about him this time last year - when he was hospitalized and close to death because his bowel and kidneys were acting up. I got angry with this...because I didn't know at the time and back then he was one of the most annoying people i've ever met.

    I slammed a fist into his face...atleast, that's what I would have done if he didn't move out of the way and make me punch a wall. And then I said that i've attempted suicide 5 times in my life and he was never there for me then, so I asked him why should I have been there for him, and then he said he hates people who try to commit suicide. This happened outside of the girl's toilet, where my best friend was in there, crying...because that's what she usually does...and I heard it get worse. I then just slumped to the floor and then my friend said "yeah" and walked off..and for the first time in my life, I felt powerless and I cried for about a minute before the bell went for lesson.
    TBH, this was really stressful and he said he'll tell people I want to kill myself because i'm an idiot who doesn't appreciate anything i'm given.

    Since me and my best friend can both tell eachother anything and she is really gentle and good at mending friendships, I phoned her and told her about this...she asked me if I wanted her to talk to him but I just said "you can if you want...but I don't really want to talk to him anymore"
    My previous best friend is also friends with this person, and he's going to have to take a side. All the way through this, he was trying to be neutral, but i'm afraid the side he takes won't be mine...
  12. Try to stay away from people like that. I found friends who liked me for who I am. Pick someone or people who you have something in common with.

    There's always someone to talk to about these problems. Go to your school guidance councillor or your parents. Your parents have probably have been through what you are going through now.

    And again suicide is never the way to go. Imagine how your best friend would feel if you left the world because you felt depressed. Then image how your parents would feel if you left them. There are always people who care for you remember that.

    Stay strong brother : P
  13. What the heck is with modern people these days and taking sides?!
  14. Wut .-.
    mba2012 and southpark347 like this.
  15. You don't need to take sides....
    NINJATTILA likes this.
  16. People have always taken sides...so don't act like it only popped up in the past decade or so...
  17. Ok so I totally agree with what your saying but why did you use the word nuggets? I mean who does that? My grandma maybe but seriously come on. We are all kids/teens/adults here. Can't we use grown up terms? Like jack? I mean come on. Nuggets?
  18. If they become friends, they must be nothing more. I fell for my best friend for over a year and finally asked her out. It didn't end well and we don't talk anymore...
  19. Boys and Girls can be friends.
  20. Hold on. Who contemplates suicide at 12? Honestly. Your life may feel bad, but life has a way of giving you that trampline to jump over a big tree in your way. You have just have not found a trampoline yet. If your depressed, because you feel like people hate you, join some out of school activities, like little league or Boy Scouts.
    dylan_frenette likes this.