2093: Charles Windsor, the Prince of Wales and Heir-Presumptive to the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and the Commonwealth realms, dies aged 145. He was never King, as his mother still reigns and continues going strong at the age of 167. When asked for comment on her son's passing, she simply remarked, 'hah, loser'. This all but confirms that the Queen is, in fact, the second Jesus.
2095: Jesus rides on a dinosaur to neo-America and writes in the Constitution in his own blood, "women, know your rights." (Please don't take any offense, that is an exact quote from my history teacher - aside from "neo" America )
2096 A rift opens near the planet and an alien race kidnaps queen jesus. They hold her for a ransom of $100000000000000000000000000000
2097: Queen Jesus breaks free from her alien captors, singlehandedly destroying their planet as she leaves. She also wipes out their entire space fleet, ending their race of people forever. When asked how she did it, she simply replied "Churchill told me a thing or two about genocide" before walking away from her alien spaceship she stole, pressing the unlock button on the keys, and having it explode. It is believed she took inspiration for her actions from the Bengal famine of 1943.
2098: Queen Jesus resurrects Barack Obama, and turned him into a cyborg. This prompts a zombified Donald Trump to rise from the grave. Trump reportedly removed his own head and attached it to a revived The Rock's body, and the battle that is about to ensue is presumed to be one for the ages.
2103: Washing machines take over Urth III after Pokemon makes new 'Pikachu Washing Machines' BREAKING NEWS: Half-Life 3 announced
2105: Battle of the ages goes down. Rock Trump and Cyber Putin slay Barack Obama in combat, however Queen Jesus revives him every time. Rock Trump breaks down into tears after several rounds and Queen Jesus decapitates him with her walking stick - Cyber Putin runs away, but Barack Obama destroys him because he can successfully flee. Obama uses the opportunity to announce his run for another Presidential term, causing a debate on whether he could actually do that or not - he can have two more terms, as he has died and been reborn so it's basically a different person. This doesn't read like a headline, but our editor is cool with it.
2106: Far Landers now considered legal US Citizens! Hillary Clinton Stops running for president for the 24th time! Donald Trump considers Running in 2110!
2107: Star Wars The Force Awakens the Second to Last Jedi is released by Disney. Disney is bought by owner of small Minecraft server who goes by "Aikar". His server, EMC, becomes the largest in the world! Also, "Aikar" is a robot.
2108: EMC Original Founder JustinGuy demands to buy Starlis for $1 million, Daniel "Aikar" Ennis doesn't sell it. Also, a smooshed potato becomes a senior staff after 89 years as moderator
First off, take notes staff recruiters... except maybe make it after 3 years as moderator. Also, see how a smooshed potato becomes staff? Just hope you staff recruiters are writing this down.... 2109: New Disneyland CANADA thanks to Aikar taking authority! Featuring Minecraft land with help from Minecraft developers Notch and jeb_! Aikar's comment on the matter...
2110: All Minecraft servers shut down except for ones ending in emc.gs, empire.us or empireminecraft.com. Every Minecraft multiplayer player must start playing on one of those servers.
