Something to be thankful for...

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Kephras, Nov 26, 2015.

  1. Cake-day on the 23rd, Thanksgiving on the 26th, and for a change I actually feel like it's worth celebrating. I'm generally not the "spill your life-story" type, but this, I think, calls for it.

    Life's been pretty rough these past several years. In 2007, I graduated college with an Associate's degree that has basically done sweet FA for me. My grandmother (mother's side) passed away. My then-girlfriend, one of my best and closest friends all through high school, left me that summer. Lacking other options, I moved back in with my parents. Dead-end retail job, severe depression... basically 2007 sucked in every conceivable way and left me an utter wreck of a human being for the next four or so years at least. Held a number of different jobs, none of which I saw any kind of future in. Tried interacting with the opposite sex a few times, and none of them saw any future in me.

    Then I met Marie. We were playing the same MMO back then (Perfect World International, for the curious, but don't look it up), and I'd seen her artwork posted here and there on the game's forum. Meanwhile, I was making a name for myself doing machinima work in-game, and our paths happened to cross on DA. It amuses and shames me a little to admit the main reason I messaged her, at first, was a sort of self-dare. She's a talented and skilled artist with a gaggle of followers, and could easily make a living on her commission work alone (if her motivation wasn't as bloody fickle as mine, anyway). And I thought to myself, "You don't have a chance in hell of getting her attention, but go ahead and try."

    Somehow, this girl has managed to be there for me even while being two-thousand miles across the country, and has stuck with me despite time, distance, and all the terrible financial circumstances on both our ends. We only managed to see each other twice a year (and only a week or two tops, at a time), if we were lucky... and yet I couldn't imagine life without her. She's slowly helped me glue all the shattered pieces of my life back together, and given me a reason to keep moving forward.

    Which brings us to the present: At 32, I finally have a steady job, a place of my own, and perhaps most importantly, some self-respect. I can look in the mirror and not hate the reflection. Best of all, come Dec. 3rd, I will be driving down to Philly International to fetch the woman I love, and we can start living like a proper couple at last - together.

    First Thanksgiving in eight years that I actually feel thankful for again. Feels pretty good.
    tuqueque, ShelLuser, Pab10S and 22 others like this.
  2. Very rarely do the tigers' words make me feel emotional, but this time, it hits hard. ;)

    Best of luck to you and Marie, and I hope all goes well. Good luck, mista tiger.
  3. Yes! :D
    Kephras likes this.
  4. This sounds so eerily familiar. Just substitute 2007 with 2012 and you have pretty much laid out a play by play. Still in those four years :-P also five years younger than you which is even more weird.
    607 and Kephras like this.

  5. Indeed! Maybe.
    Well, on the bright side, you have a clear roadmap to recovery!
    • Initiate LDR with sexy artist gal
    • Work three more years in pointless dead-end jobs, save just enough for bi-annual visits.
    • Land awesome job (with benefits), move out, and start faking adulthood again.*
    In all seriousness though, I don't think there's such a thing as "light at the end of the tunnel." Life is constant forward motion - sometimes up-hill, sometimes down, with all the associated peaks and valleys in between. As long as you keep moving, you'll get somewhere you can be happy with.

    Plus, you get to look back with a sense of relief and think "Man, glad I don't have to go that way again."

    *edit: Forgot to mention, the sixth months of soul-crushing unemployment and nearly having your car repo'd before landing that job will suck. Horribly. But it teaches you a real appreciation for everything good in your life, and the job you land afterwards will feel amazing simply because "paycheck, blessed paycheck!"
    tuqueque, 607, ChamelonNYC and 3 others like this.
  6. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Wonderful to read about your victory over some very rough years of life.

    Do you think it was the bad economy that made it hard to get full time work?
    Kephras likes this.
  7. Although you're a carnivorous tiger, I imagine you drooled over this day being together. Funny that you find someone on a forum, wasn't doubting it since you spread truth and common good in most of us. It's always good to hear from a tiger on my profile ;)

    Have a happy thanksgiving to the both of you [Don't forget your family :p]
    Kephras likes this.

  8. Feelcopter inbound, the emotions are real!

    In all seriousness, this really hits hard. I thank you for writing this, it really means a lot and strikes something in me. I am happy to see that you managed to over come the issues and finally, you have something that you love and you can live life happier.

    I feel like a little background on Fendy will be pretty suited in this thread, so if you dare, open this next spoiler.

    Okay, I don't celebrate Thanksgiving because I live in the UK, but I do have something to be thankful for, for once, as well.

    While my story is not quite as drastic, I always saw myself as a failure and looked at myself as if I was nothing, and as much as I tried not to, I thought that I wasn't going to pull through in the future. I could never decide on what I wanted to do in school and I worried massively about what impact everything would have on my future, and I could be terribly shy, meaning I wouldn't talk to anyone about what problems I had.

    Some days were better, some days were worse. I always worried massively about what I was doing and my future, but in late August, it all changed. I met someone that made me feel better and rather than worry, I started to look forward to the future. This person happens to be AnonReturns, of which plays this server, and I'm so happy that I have found her. I went on to a Motorsport Engineering Level 3 course in college in early September and while I'm not sure if it's the right course for me yet, I now have someone there to help me in my rough times and someone to be there and laugh with me in my happy times too. We became an official thing on September the 3rd and in December, I'll be visiting her for the third time and we'll be able to go to her Christmas Prom with her and we'll be able to celebrate our three months together. While we haven't been together for a long time yet, she is my everything and I'm thankful for that.

    I hope that some day, I too will have a steady job and will have a place of my own, and I'm happy that I know that what ever happens, I have my human and hope to one day live together with her like a proper couple like you and Marie will be doing.

    Moral of the story, get on the internet and find a girl. Problems solved. In all seriousness, respect to you Keph, and cheers to all of you. Thanks.
    607, ChamelonNYC, Doofni and 2 others like this.
  9. Looks like you know where you want to go and are heading there just fine...
    Best of luck to the two of you, and I sincerely hope it works out for you. :)

    Have a great thanksgiving
    Kephras likes this.
  10. A story written by life itself. And what can we conclude? We worry about money, status, looks. We search for meaning. Yet not a single of these things things will ever create happiness on its own.

    And for the second time this week I pull out this quote.

    “Happiness [is] only real when shared”
    Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

    The isolation, which is what most of us work for (isolation in your own car, your own house/flat...), is what takes our chance of happiness. I can very much comprehend your journey Kephras. Im happy it turned out so well for you.

    A Happy Thanksgiving
    from Germany

    - Hasorko
    607 and Kephras like this.
  11. Northeast PA basically only has three kinds of jobs:
    -Call Center
    -Distribution / Warehouse
    I'm terrible with people (in person), so retail and call-center work is guaranteed to fail sooner or later. Warehouse work I'm honestly fine with - grunt work lets my mind wander, and the last physically strenuous job I held was both the best-paying and healthiest I've known (lifting 50lb reams of business checks will do wonders for your physique). Finding anything else is ridiculously difficult, and that's before you figure in silly things like "qualifications" and "job experience." So no, I don't blame the economy - I'm sure it didn't help, but it's just the area I live in.

    The funny part is, we didn't really communicate on the forum or in-game until after I started messaging her on DA. ;) Which I did mainly for the challenge of "Can I woo someone who's already super-popular and surrounded by admirers?" I laugh, looking back at that, because as she later confessed to me, her thinking was much the same (I guess my acquired fame with video-work earned me some points there).

    Thanks for the well-wishes. Try not to eat too many children this holiday, Foxy!

    Europe could use a Thanksgiving of their own, sounds like! I know we Americans are prone to some pretty dumb things, but a holiday based around feasting and gratitude sounds like a good idea to me.
    Appreciate the shared story, too. I don't think "find a [significant other] and everything will be fine" is exactly the moral to learn, but having someone to stand by you and help you through difficult times and uncertainty is definitely better than trying to go it alone. May those months become years for you both.

    Thanks weeh :) I have no idea where I'm going, honestly, but for a change I'm happy to find out.
    I'd disagree that the "isolation" we work towards is an antithesis to happiness - even without Marie flying in next week, I'm happy just to no longer be a grown man living under his parents' roof. And my car is freedom, which is a source of happiness (and sometimes sorrow) all its own. But Krakauer's not completely wrong. Happiness is better when it is shared, and I look forward to having someone to share it with this Holiday season.

    Thank you all for the well-wishes and interesting stories. :) Hope your Thanksgiving is wonderful today, even if you're not celebrating it.
    tuqueque, MrsWishes, 607 and 3 others like this.
  12. Feasting and gratitude are things that always should be done! :rolleyes:

    The "find a [significant other] and everything will be fine" moral that was there was meant to be a bit of a joke, sorry I didn't make that as clear cut >_> But as you say, having someone there for you no matter what is always helpful. For me, it really does help, because I am shy and don't tend to share as much with others. Having someone like that can really be beneficial.

    I too hope that the months become years, I am sure that they will, it has been amazing. Thanks again for sharing Keph, much appreciated! :)
    Kephras likes this.
  13. Aww :3 this made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Long-distance relationships can be tough, can't they? When my husband and I were dating we were several hours apart for the first two years. I was lucky in that I could jump in my car when I had a free couple of days and drive that distance to see him, (and vice versa.) But leaving to go home got increasingly more difficult to do each time one of us did that. So we ended up getting engaged and moving in together. ^_^

    Anyway, congratulations to you! :D I hope everything continues to go well for you and Marie.
    607, Kephras and FDNY21 like this.
  14. I want to write something meaningful here, but I just.. can't. This is such a moving story and I would have never thought you, such a glorious and well-spoken tiger, had gone through something like that. I'm glad to hear you have settled down with someone you love and enjoy spending time with. :) I wish you two the best of luck with everything.
    607 and Kephras like this.
  15. Yeah, LDR's are hard on both parties. ;) I'm no stranger to them, but the fact that we've been together since... I want to say April 2011, is kind of crazy when you think about it. Glad you and your fiance are doing well, too!

    Everybody's got their baggage and horror stories to tell. Maybe there is some truth in that old saying about having to suffer for your art? (or in this case, writing?) I should give a lot of credit to my parents as well, for putting up with me these last eight years. Hehe, we all sat down to dinner today, and...
    Dad: "Well, anybody thankful for anything?"
    Me: "I'm no longer a grown man living under my parents' roof?"
    Mom & Dad together: "AMEN!" */throws hands in the air*
    :D it's a lot easier to joke about that now, let me tell you.
    Also, I have a cat in my face. My Groucho missed me...