4 Years Wasted..

Discussion in 'Writers' Corner' started by CoryLovesYou, Sep 27, 2015.

  1. So this morning, I woke up too a text from Shelby saying she wanted to break up, and realized soon after that she had blocked my number and every other form of communication besides actually going to her house, and I can't even do that because she won't bother seeing me. She hasn't even given me a reason as to why she even did it...it's driving me crazy and making me feel like shit, like I did something to make her break up with me. I can't think of anything in the past year that I've done to make her want to end it, I'd do ANYTHING to be with her and I'm crushed right now.

    How do you spend four years with someone and then just drop them without even talking to them about it or being decent enough to give them a reason?

    I'm just sitting here now, not knowing what to do or where to go from here, attempting to hold back tears but not being very successful.

    I don't even know a life without her...
    Deadmaster98 and tuqueque like this.
  2. That is truly terrible. I am but a youngling who can not sympathize, but from others' experience, I can say the following:

    Forget it. Honestly - just get over it. I had a lot of incidents over the last year which resulted in terrible consequences, but I just thought about something different. If you ever find yourself in times of trouble, just go and play some games or even just go lay down in bed. Sleeping can fix just about any problem I have ever experienced.

    If she wants to let go of you, then let it be. If she continues to try to contact you, then that is an indicator that she was not the one. Just think of other things - distract yourself. All good things come to an end, but so do all bad things.
    Gawadrolt likes this.
  3. This sadly has happened to my aunt a few years ago... The guy she married one day just said we are done and divorces her to marry another guy. It was so sudden, but she eventually got over it and is engaged currently I believe.
  4. I'm sorry this happened to you :(

    I have never really been in any relationships in real life, but I do know what it is like to lose a close friend you know very well. It feels like a bullet goes through your heart and that hole will stay there forever. Then when you have more rough waters it is almost like a pie shaped crater in your heart, and you can't take it. What I would do is what caden said and just forget about it. Forget about her, and just do something else, or maybe just get another girl that likes you. I would say that your 4 years have taught you a few lessons, but I agree with you, you wasted 4 years a girl that dumped you, and spent so much time with you. I'm terribly sorry this happened to you :(
  5. Trust me man, I feel you. It's a crappy feeling truly. As many said to me, friends are the best medicine for a broken heart. Someone better will come your way.
  6. Been there although I was not with the person as long and it was a very long time ago, but I understand how you feel right now. I can only suggest that you write a letter keep it simple and just express that you're very upset and do not know what if anything that you may have done.

    Keep in mind that sometimes relationships just burn out and what ever she may have felt for you may not exist any more and she may not know what to say which maybe why she has blocked you in the way that she has.

    Do not hold on to hope that she will change her mind, but in the letter you could ask that it would be nice to know why.

    For me it took a long time to get over the feelings I had at the time and from what you said it will be much the same, but it does get better eventually, be strong, spend time with your friends and keep busy that will help.
    607 likes this.
  7. I feel ya.

    As much as I'd like to sit here and say "Don't worry, get over it, it'll be alright," I can't. It's hard to get over things like that. I don't really know how to handle that, but good luck. And just know that it's not your fault.
  8. In response:
    Go outside her window, and like the romantic movies, throw the pebbles at her window.
    Except, "accidentally" pick up a larger rock, and throw that one.

    In reality, don't do that.
    It does suck that that happened to you, but she is also most likely having troubles with the stuff you mentioned in other threads.

    We're all rooting for you, Cory.
    CadenMann, TomvanWijnen and Keliris like this.
  9. I don't think you've wasted four years because of this.
    Kaizimir likes this.
  10. I'm so sorry to hear this, Cory. My first thought when reading this was perhaps this is her way of dealing with your recent loss. It isn't right, nor is it fair to you. But she must be in a lot of pain as well. I hope you two are able to work things out. Hang in there.
  11. A second thing:
    Take up First person Shooters.
    It is hard to care about something when you are too busy attempting to shoot its head off.
  12. My suggestion? EMC! It helps me feel better!
  13. Ugh. Pardon my mannerisms, I just ended a relationship and also posted something somewhat uplifting on your profile but you really cant think of anything? These things don't just happen and considering how "open" you have been on the forums I seriously doubt your alls relationship has been puppies and rainbows lately. April knows full well why we are no longer together and I didn't have to say anything. Think about shelby, how she must feel about what's happened lately and about what she might want for the future. You need to get you together and wish the best for her.
    ChamelonNYC and Dektirok like this.
  14. This is terrible and I would not wish this upon my worst of enemies. The way SHE is handling it is absolutely horrible.

    While you may think that the last 4 years are wasted they are most certainly not. A person's identity is just a collection of the experiences they have had. You have learned from her, grown from her, and part of her has shaped who you are. You have done the same to her. It was not a waste.

    However, this doesn't make it hurt any less. Have a good cry. Scream at the heavens. Curse whoever you need to curse. Then move forward. Don't fall into the trap of your own purgatory of wondering what happened, waiting for response, or looking for closure. Make your own closure.

    It may not seem like it right now, but now is the time for you to do you. Focus your energy into something that you love. Funnel the negative into your passions.

    Be your own best friend. Spend time on who your first love should be. Go do you.
    Kytula likes this.
  15. It's important to remember that this could be much worse. She has not gone anywhere and nothing has been done that can't be changed. She is clearly having a really bad moment. I can't guess why she wants to push you away, but if you have been friends for 4 years, then it is doubtful that she will never want to speak to you again.

    Try not to wallow in anger or bitter thoughts, rather try to prepare to forgive her for the hurtful way she has acted. I do not know if you will 'stay together', but a positive attitude is a lot more likely to result in a better outcome. Imagine the level of trust that will grow if you can (somewhat) calmly wait it out and respect her space.