Am I good or bad for EMC? Should I leave?

I disagree, to be honest, I do think you will improve. I'm not sure if I can give you, as a secular (as far as I know), any tips, though. Well, I surely do hope you will improve.

Eventually, I probably will, and I hope I do too. But unfortunately, it doesn't seem likely to happen in the near future.

Friend, friend, my friend: I just chewed out another person who made a similar thread, Kong. This honestly is not helping your self esteem. It is not giving you good attention, please do not cause more drama/ unrest than there already is.

I consider both you and Finch great friends, but whether you both believe it or not, you both make it seem as if you both believe there is only one line of thinking: you must be "allies"/ an "ally" in support of the LGBT community. I, myself, part of this community appreciate how comfortable you both are with yourselves, but I just must state that even then, people at the end of the day will always have their own opinions; it just creates a stressful/ unbearable setting, especially for EMC, as it after all is just a Minecraft Server, despite the community vibe.

You are a great addition to the community, and I would hate to see you leave, kind of how Finch has. Please, if you need someone to talk to about your frustrations with EMC or would just like to talk to someone about life in general: you know I am here for you, and always will be. You feel free to PM me, my friend.

I was already aware of that thread, but I haven't read it lately and don't think I want to. Kong seems to have a tendency to incite drama, but whether he means to or not is something I'm not sure about.

I just want people to respect everyone. I know I have supportive people all around me, but it's hard to tolerate or ignore those who are the opposite, I wish I had someone to share my life with (I mean that in a romantic way), and I am tired of being stuck in a part of the South where I have not been able to find that, it still snows/gets cold sometimes, and I'm still very scared about whether people may call me names, hurt me, etc. (even though I'm basically out) because I live in a non-metropolitan part of the South. I'm still stuck here for at least three more years with very little chance of finding a boyfriend soon, being mentally tormented by memories of a rough past with this other guy I have a crush on who has harassed, outed, and disrespected me, and especially with my anxiety attacks that tend to be worsened during certain months, it's miserable.

I'm already somewhat inactive because there isn't anyone active at the MPO nowadays, and the only other people who are active on SMP6 tend to be new players who leave, occasional (only briefly and periodically) visitors from other SMPs or who are staff, and a group of people half of whom I am very uncomfortable with (and is also likely very uncomfortable with me). If there were way more people than that group, none of which were like them, or if someone would help on my MPO projects or even just have their own huge project(s) going on there while I did my thing(s), it'd be a lot less boring/uncomfortable on my home SMP.

EDIT: I forgot to mention, I have even tried asking my friends, family, etc. if they know of any other gay guys, but they don't know of anyone but that one guy who even might be. I've also tried going to teen activities for things I enjoy, my local PFLAG meetings, and a GSA at a nearby school, and those things are of no help (you would especially think the GSA would be helpful, but its president said that most gay guys at that school are closeted, mean, and unwilling to go to the meetings, leaving mostly lesbians and trans people). I hate repeated roadblocks to my ultimate goal and having anxiety attacks from it, chilly and/or sultry weather, and that one guy.

Sighhhhhh... Why are you doing this again?

We3_MPO, the fact that you are still able to post means that the staff deem you worthy of being part of the EMC Community. Therefore, you have a right to be here. You are good for EMC, sparking controversial threads and reinforcing positive messages on profiles in even just in your signature. You've been very kind as far as I know.

Also, to ask the EMC Community to judge you on such a thing I feel is very wrong, I feel only the staff should have that opportunity. Also - Not everyone knows you, and so you're going to get limited responses. But I feel you're being unfair to yourself when you take a disagreement between yourself and like three people as if you should leave. The staff haven't banned you so you're fine. I can clearly see you're an active player and you have a lot to say, and so leaving would be the dumbest thing ever, because you enjoy EMC! Feel free to leave if you are not enjoying yourself btw. But having people judge whether or not you should, I think you should expect what you get, the people who dislike actions you did to want to leave and everyone else wants you to stay. The choice is yours, and giving that choice to other players who know NOTHING ABOUT YOUR SITUATION is a bad move - So don't be surprised when you get an answer you don't like. I mean, what can more than like 5 people say? The only reason people would be mad at you is because something happened between only like 4 people. So I feel like more people are going to ask you to stay because there's no problem with you, and there's no reason we should have a problem with you. You're really nice. So unnecessary thread.

As for myself, I'd love to see you stay.

I've realized recently that my internal stress isn't just negatively influencing others on EMC and hindering my ability to live very happily, it also seems like it's negatively influencing others IRL too, which is the last thing I want because it's far worse than the other two. I feel like it's way out of my control too, so unless I can get my anxiety attacks and anger issues under control soon, I'm considering finally visiting a therapist (I even considered it about a year ago, and I know of a married, openly gay therapist in my area to eliminate the possibility of rejection or not getting proper advice in that way). I'm sorry if this scares any of you too much into thinking I'm hurt and/or insane, but I really am both, and I need to get it back under control soon so I can stop it from hurting anyone, including me and everyone else.

The fact that there is a poll where the results are visible only makes me see this thread as a way to identify who exactly has a problem with you. Especially with those specifically detailed choices.

I feel like you are taking a good step in self reflection, but also a step in the wrong direction. The ability to discern for yourself the consequences of your individual actions and how to improve them is an important skill to learn, and it generally should not involve other humans directly.
I encourage you to look at how the Jesuits self-reflect, they are masters of the art. They call it their "daily examine" and the way they do things can be interpretted for any religion, or none at all. A simplified TLR version of what they do is essentially meditate and watch back the events of your day like you're watching a TV and you have the remote, and your God/best friend/Significant other/Pet/whoever you want is watching with you, and you pause and try to figure out where you can do better. You can do this for day by day, week by week, or just whenever you feel like it. This is a method many people I have met use to self-reflect, and I think you could too.
I know I got a little bit deep for just a conversation about whether you should play on a minecraft server, but I think the principles still apply. The bottom line is if you are questioning the consequences of your actions, then take some time to decide for yourself if you are living the way that you want to live, and a way that the people important to you would be proud of.

Yeah... I'll just come on whenever I feel am in the mood for it, leave if I get bored, and probably be less active until late May/early June (and even during summertime I'll probably be less active, as I'm getting older now and my June will be extremely busy). And if I can't solve my own problems soon, I can see a local therapist for help.

Requested thread closure.