Prelude: This IS in response to actions recently by members of our community. If you are not involved, then you can simply read this and go about your normal business. No need to reply. However, a large portion of players need a little reminder concerning relationship drama and EMC. Therefore, I'm writing this post for everyone to take into consideration. Teenage Relationship Drama. A LOT of us are/were guilty of it. We believe that the guy/girl we have a crush on is the answer to our happiness. We think that if they could just notice us, then we'll fall in love, get married, have kids and live happily ever after. The harsh truth is that this does NOT happen to the vast majority. You're happy and on cloud nine for a little bit, then you fight, someone breaks it off and the dumpee is left feeling dejected, until the next crush comes along. The cycle continues until you DO finally find that person you want to spend the rest of your life with. (Then you argue about who left laundry in the washing machine for 2 days or who's turn is it to cook, but you are mature enough to understand a real fight from a petty argument.) The fact of the matter is that MOST of you will not marry your teenage boyfriend/girlfriend. Tough words to hear and I bet that you're reading this thinking 'Not ME, we love each other and we will survive anything'. That's great, and maybe you will. The vast majority of you won't. Why do I know that? Because I felt the same way when I was your age. I've gone through pretty much anything life can throw at me in that area, so I'm not just saying this. I lived it. Now, this isn't really about your relationship success. If you want to date someone you met online, or through EMC even, be my guest. Maybe it will work out for you like the illustrious Aikar and Maxarias and that would be awesome. Relationships can be a great source of joy, but they can also be a great source of pain. Each of you need to recognize that there is more to life than joy that someone else gives you. If your boyfriend/girlfriend breaks up with you or if your crush humiliates you and says that they don't like you, etc, then you WILL be okay. It's going to likely hurt at first and you'll be upset. That's normal. However, after you have some time to get over the heartache, the sun is going to come out and you'll be okay. It is NOT the 'end of the world'. Our blue and green globe will continue spinning. If you are depressed to the point that you need to talk to someone, PLEASE talk to a PROFESSIONAL because they are licensed to handle this. Players (and even Staff) on a Minecraft community are not. Now moving on...to those that are NOT involved directly in a relationship: Stop the drama. You think someone isn't smart for falling for someone too fast? Then simply don't comment. It's not your business, so don't go butting into it. Commenting (or creating an incendiary status) about someone else's relationship in a rude way is uncalled for. Think you're smart because you didn't actually mention names so it's not 'direct targeting'? Grow up. You're fanning the flames for no other reason than to cause drama and it's petty and ridiculously immature. That goes for ANYONE that does this to ANYBODY. I'm not saying that you have to post good comments. I'm saying don't comment. Walk away and choose some other topic to rage on about. Can't find any other topics to post about? Then maybe you need to look into your own life rather than commenting on someone else's. TLDR: Teenage relationships are very fickle. If you are going to be in one, then you need to understand the risks and be prepared to move past issues when things take a bad turn. The sun will come out tomorrow. Please keep the drama related to relationships/breakups OFF of EMC. As a side note: Krysyy is fed up with the constant rudeness from members of our community towards others regarding these relationships and is telling those players to grow up and start acting more mature.
This should be an interesting read. The pointed comments were taken too far this time. After seeing the other side starting to get upset, you're no longer "poking fun" at others
Sadly there are more then a few that find causing or adding to drama fun. You really have to think about the person on the other side of the screen. It's not just a bunch of letters to some random person on the internet. You get to walk away unharmed afterwords. You don't get to see the real damage that things like this can create. If we could all just try to put ourselves on the other side and ask yourself how you would feel and is it really worth it, maybe less of this would be seen here. We are all part of this community and we all make it what it is. Let's have the best community possible.
On a side note... tinder and omgle are NOT good ways of finding love, just thought I'd throw that into the mist (Ignore the fact my close friend has been in a 3 year relationship with a girl he met on tinder) #SinglesClub On a good note I think this is some advice the vast majority of the community has needed for a long time.
Well, I can say that I have butted into a few issues on EMC which were obviously related to the topic at hand (not necessarily involving the same players of course) and I will most certainly continue to do so every time I come across something like this (assuming I can actually help out, more than often it looks like an ordinary fight and you simply have no clue what's going on at first). Aaaanyway.... And this is one of the reasons I started dating at an older age Well, that and because I wasn't really interested during my teens and because my definition of fun sat more into removing the copy protection of an imported Maniac Mansion game than going out for a drink I can say that it most definitely has some advantages too. Like knowing how to tell someone that you love them without actually saying that you love them which somewhat reduces the risk of embarrassing situations. Which can be a bit of a concern. Of course the disadvantage is that the same goes for your partner. Who, in my case, kept on teasing me by playing dumb and kept on asking me what I really meant with "You mean a lot to me, and I care a great deal for you." Hmm, good memories But yeah, I can most definitely relate to what Krysyy said above. 10 years ago (I think, I was in my 30s, that's for sure) I went to a school reunion and yah. Most people who I recalled being really close never ended up together. In fact, most had partners who never visited the same school. One thing I'm missing in Krysyy's comments though... In case the two of you do break up then don't think for one second that it won't be hard on the other as well. Sometimes it isn't, but don't assume as much either. I've experienced too many real life situations where a friend comes up to me being convinced that the "not so nice description for a lady" hated his guts and he was through and all. Then, at a later time, I accidentally run into said former girlfriend and learn that she was totally devastated even though it was her who broke the relationship in the first place. But yeah... Also... If you are feeling depressed over a rejection then screw professionals: talk to your friends, family, and best yet: parents first and foremost and try to put enough trust in them to share what's eating away at you. Because chances are very high that they lived through the same misery as you have. I know I did, Keiko wasn't my first love and even though we didn't really end the relationship with a big fight it still wasn't very easy nor pleasant either. If it was I would have surely forgotten about it by now. The reason I say this is sometimes your family and friends will know you much better than anyone else. They'll most likely be able to tell what's best for you because they know you, they've seen what you went through and yeah... Professionals... In this time and age they probably want to help you, but would like a paycheck for that as well. Most of all they don't know you as well as your family and your close friends do. I'm not saying those talks are going to be easy, but... This is why family should come first in my opinion. Anyway... Sorry but I felt like sharing.
If someone is depressed, not just upset, they need to talk to a professional. There is a reason this was in my original thread the way that it was. If a player believes that they may be clinically depressed and/or are considering something that they cannot undo, they need to seek professional help, not help from their friends. School counselors are a great person to talk to. Some of you may not realize, but your friends may not be comfortable with you coming to them to talk about these types of issues. They aren't licensed to handle the stress that it puts on them either. I can agree in talking to your family, but please do not force your friends to shoulder your burden. They will, because they are your friends, but it's not fair to them. Think of your friends feelings before sharing your own, then seek professional help. Please. You need to re-read the OP then. If it's not your relationship, then you don't need to be involved. You can believe that you are 'fixing' things between two people and you might only be making it worse. It is not your place to butt into someone's private relationship.
Seffy's advice to single folk: Date as much as possible with no expectations on the relationship. For Funsies. Dating is fun. Stay out of a committed relationship until you are both ready. Happiness is yours to make not someone's to give.
I'm not going to endlessly discuss this but... If someone comes up to you for help and you plain out refuse it then that's also not exactly sending out the right signal either. There is no "one size fits all" kind of solution to these problems. Each issue is different.
" The sun'll come out Tomorrow Bet your bottom dollar That tomorrow There'll be sun! Just thinkin' about Tomorrow Clears away the cobwebs, And the sorrow 'til there's none! When I'm stuck with a day, That's grey, And lonely I just stick out my chin And grin, And say Oh! The sun'll come out Tomorrow So ya gotta hang on 'til tomorrow Come what may Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya Tomorrow! You're always A day Away!" From the movie Annie +Good Advice as Always!
