[EVENT] -Make me laugh for a chance to win a few Steam Keys along with the chance other stuffs

i am typing in a russian accent

No texting while driving, the early years.

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Wife: What are you doing?
Husband: Nothing
Wife: Nothing . . . ? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour
Husband: I was looking for the expiration date

After I got to the bottom of it I was like :I Really? You were testing me :I

This is one of my recent favorites:

A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs.

She went downstairs and looked around, still not finding her husband. Listening again, she could definitely hear moaning. She went down to the basement to find her husband, crouched in the corner facing the wall, sobbing.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked him.

"Remember when your father caught us together when you were 16?" he replied. "And remember, he said, I had two choices - I could either marry you, or spend the next 20 years in prison."

Baffled, she said, "Yes, I remember. So?"

"I would have gotten out today."

What does a duck smoke? quack

you mean longest series of comma splices and run-on sentences? lol

Extremely true

idk how this is funny but it is somehow

I don't like the way that banana looks...

HEY!!! Get Back Here...


Just Look At His Face

When someone starts playing with my hair or scratching my back.

Bumpsy

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Justin.
Justin WHO?
JUST-IN TIME FOR TEA! (I know its cheesy)

I'd like to dedicate this to my dad, he was a roofer, so Dad, if you're up there...

:'(

Another favorite of mine:

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver couldn't help himself and said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.

The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."

"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind." "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

Bumps, I'm sure there are more of you that want free prizes

3 very elderly ladies are at their old mansion. The first one, oldest of them all, decides to take a bath. Upon filling the tub, she realized that she didn't know whether she was getting in or out. To help her, she called the second lady up. Half way up the stairs, the second lady realized she didn't know if she was going up or down. She called down to the third lady for help. The youngest of the elderly ladies heard the calls and said to herself, "I hope I never get like those two," and she knocked on her wood cabinet for good measure. She then yelled to the other two maids, "I am coming. Just wait, someone just knocked on the door!"

Since the goal is to make you laugh:
Gigs guaranteed! The weirdest, craziest Black Ops II moments all in one funny montage.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6Z-rieH_1w