A redhead, brunette and blonde were on their way to Heaven. God told them the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps, and on every 5th step He’d tell them a joke. But, they must not laugh or else they couldn’t enter heaven. The brunette went first and started laughing on the 65th step, so she could not enter Heaven. The redhead went next and started laughing on the 320th step, so she could not enter Heaven either. Then, it was the blonde’s turn. When she got to the 999th step, she started laughing.
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!". He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, "Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!" He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires. Now she's laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down. "What's so funny?" the truck driver asked the blonde. She replied, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle!"
Ok, this is more of a riddle. You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat? Or this, 500 begins it, 500 ends it, 5 in the middle is seen. The fisrt of all letters, the first of all numbers take up the spaces between. Put it all together and you get the name of an famous king.
Heres a good one, Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. Blonde 1- Those are moose tracks! Blonde 2- No those are deer tracks! Blonde 3- Those are clearly wolf tracks! They were still arguing when the train hit them.
Some more (I couldn't Resist) 1. 3 men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would've noticed. 2. So this Dyslexic walks into a bra... 3. A horse, a priest, a bishop, a dog, and a blonde walk into a bar and the bartender looks up and says "Is this somekind of joke?" And a riddle The man who makes it, doesn't want it. The man who buys it, doesn't need it. And the man who uses it, doesn't see it. What is it?
Ok, this one is lengthy. A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde are driving down the road, when they breakdown in the middle of a desert. (The blonde forgot to fill up the tank.) Now the brunette says to the redhead and the blonde. "We are going to have to make a trek back to civilization, we should each bring something to aid us in our trek." After a while, on their journey back to civilization, the redhead looks at the blonde and brunette and says "So what did you guys bring to aid us on our trek back to civilization." The redhead then says "I brought water, so we wouldn't go thirsty." The brunette says "I brought food, so we wouldn't go hungry." they look at the blonde who says "I brought the car door, so when it gets hot I can roll down the window."
