Soz for double posting but I think you have to rebel away from that when you are older. Your parents can't control your life, only you can. There is no way that anyone can control a single persons' life entirely. If there were people that would do that, it would be inhumane. Every person has a choice, pick your choice.
To be honest, I have no main goal in life. I've been bullied all of my life. I've changed that so there are less things to bully me about, but it still happens alot. Today I finally told my mum about wanting to kill myself and that I breakdown when i'm in my room because of bullies. She's writing to my school to have my set changed and have the bullies punished - if that doesn't work she will change my school... which I don't want to do. My school has given me support, emotionally and with education. They've also helped me get back on my feet after coming from a primary school that left my learning difficulties go unnoticed and lied about my SATs marks. Currently, my goal in life is to stop my best friend from moving schools. Even if we still talked over text and webcam...i'd miss her alot. I'd lose any point in living...and I have no idea what i'd do with my life without being able to talk to her. I'd probably lock myself in my room and starve myself. Whenever I talk to her I start being happy again...and she's the only person who knows my deepest secrets. I don't trust my other friends. They'll blurt out anything I say to them. My other goal in life is to expand my Java knowledge to games rather than Minecraft plugins. I really want to start my own indie-gaming company, whether it be one-man or with a few friends, where I can let my ideas run free. Currently, i'd like to make a game like Spore, but more in-depth on the evolution process and special abilities that come with different parts, such as advantages over your predators, and the ability to choose amphibian, reptile, fish or mammal, which you can change but it would take 10 in-game minutes for the process to happen...something like that C: I'd like to do this in a Spore mod at some point when I learn how to mod other games other than Minecraft. My other current goal is to try and get my life sorted so by the time i'm 14 I can live like a normal teen. If i'm diagnosed with bipolar, a disorder I think I have, I can get medication for that. After I live life like that until i'm atleast 16, I want to begin my march into games innovation
I don't know how old you are, but I'll make a wild guess and say that you are in your early teens. For you to be so worked up about it is to me fairly impressive, as not a lot of people of your (supposed) age tend to share such interrogations, or have them at all. I'll first start by saying that defining your major goal in your life is not something that will spring up one Monday morning, or worse, be defined and/or imposed by others (that's why Scientology is a lie); it is something that will progressively shape itself as you go along with your life, until you realize that there is no definitive answer to your question taht exists. But by that time, you will have forged convictions, expanded your knowledge, and gained much experience. Now the next question would be : How do you make the choices which would prove the most beneficial on the long term, if you don't have an idea of what your call in life is? While I can't give you a precise answer, there is one major advice I could give. You might have noticed that you live on a planet with more than 6 billion people, forming various permeable groups, more less different from each other, and who interact constantly within and without their own groups (in good terms or not). From this fact, you may begin to understand the importance of becoming open to the world that surrounds you, beyond your family, beyond your friends, beyond your neighbourhood, or also beyond the Internet; getting a grasp of its diversity, its beauty, but also its problems and cruelties. Reading is always a good start: newspapers/journals, philosophy readings, knowing associative life, etc. You then will start seeing the possibilities to in turn reach out to this world, to get involved with it in the way that you have decided, based on your experience of it. Because after all, it is fundamentally human to get involved with one's environment, as it is imho the key to give it a meaning and live in harmony. After that I assure you that this will help a ton in your own personal development as well as your quest for meaning. I could give you a personal example: because of my parents' job, we constantly moved every 3 or so years from country to country, and I changed schools regularly. I never made real good friends during that time and was even borderline bullied, so the circumstances pushed me to seek satisfaction elsewhere; exploring the cities I lived in (when age allowed), meeting interesting people in the most unlikely circumstances (a funny as hell tattoo guy, a girl punk group, even a tramp) and learning from these experiences. I really was (and still am) not a very social person, but the curiosity and openness I developped and cultivated within me helped me a lot in compensating for this. It slowly forged within me a conviction that I wanted to study something that would allow me to work with education on the policy level, as education represents a society's future, and is a big factor in defining the inequalities of tomorrow. I hope that this could give you some ideas
I'm hoping to get into the Air Force Academy, fly with them for a while, and then become an astronaut, commercial or NASA. Depends on who has the best capabilities. It's a lofty goal, but with enough effort, I think I can pull it off.
I want to live. To have full life. If I could choose, I would end up playing baseball or writing, two of the things I love most in my life. I hope for success and to be with the one person I love.
