Dahmer** Don't mess up his name, he's an American Hero. The first thing you need to know about hiding dead bodies is what dead bodies are like. They stink, they attract flies/mushrooms/other decomposers, decomposition gases make them bloat, and rotting down to the skeleton takes anywhere from a week (hot, humid climates) to several years (cold, arid climates). The second thing you need to know is how other people – e.g. law enforcement – find bodies. They use cadaver dogs (specifically trained to find corpses), evidence (a dockside security camera that recorded someone tossing a body into a river), or plain old sleuthing (noticing freshly turned soil). The third thing: all the things you shouldn’t do. DO NOT leave the body uncovered, let cameras or recording devices of any sort see you dealing with the body, let eyewitnesses see you with the body, tell people where it is, or keep it in an area familiar to you. TECHNIQUES Dissolving in Acid Dissolving a body in acid seems like a foolproof way to hide a body. After all, there will be nothing left! That’s not true. If you are using sodium hydroxide – commonly known as lye and which is technically a base. not an acid – after a few days the body will be reduced to brownish sludge and brittle bones that will break if you press on them. So then you have to dispose of that mess and scrub/get rid of the container you used to dissolve the body. Lye itself is also dangerous. It is a very caustic and direct contact with it will give you severe chemical burns or blind you if it gets in your eye. Its fumes are also toxic. On the other hand, lye is an inexpensive drain cleaner, which makes it readily available in large quantities and explainable if the police find it in your tub. Burial This is the oldest trick in the book. Dig a hole, bury the stiff, and walk away whistling. Nowadays, due to advances in crime-solving techniques, burying a body is a much more difficult process. Firstly, the pit needs to be the right depth. Digging a pit is hard manual labor – no matter what Supernatural and its perfect rectangular holes make you think – so the biggest problem most have is digging a grave that’s too shallow. A shallow grave means the soil will erode or the rain will wash it away or some scavenger will dig it up. The pit should be at least 6 ft (2 m) deep. Be sure to scrape some leaf litter or garbage over it to make the newly overturned soil less obvious. Don’t bury the body if you strike water within a few feet or meters of digging. Burying a body in the water table will poison the water and someone will investigate the source. One great trick is burying a body 6 to 10 ft (2-3 m) underneath the body of a large, dead animal like a dog or deer. The cadaver dogs will bark and the police will break out the shovels, find the dead animal, and think the cadaver dog had a false positive.
Burning Burning bodies stink. They don’t smell like a steak on the barbecue or pork in the oven. They smell disgusting. Read some survivor tales of the Nazi death camps if you don’t believe me. If you’re burning bodies, someone is going to notice. Plus, there will be a giant smoke tower (with BLACK smoke, not the light grey kind that someone will mistake for a bonfire). Burning a body doesn’t even get rid of it. Organs are so full of liquid that they almost never burn completely. Burning a body literally to ashes – like in cremation – requires a very powerful crematorium, one that can cook bodies at almost 2000° F (1100° C) for about three hours. The best way of disposing of bodies by burning is to drop them into the middle of a raging wildfire or something. Wood Chipper Don’t do it unless you have no connection to the wood chipper, the wood chipper’s location, or the wood chipper’s owner. The blood splatter will be impossible to erase and – congratulations – now you have one thousand tiny bits of corpse to pick up rather than one big one. Consumption The last method I have for disposing of dead bodies will be very familiar to anyone who has seen Silence of the Lambs or Hannibal. However, I am not advising that you eat the evidence yourself. Domestic pigs will eat just about anything, including meat. Have starving wolves in your neighborhood? That will do it, too. (Don’t let flies rend the body alone, though. The presence or absence of certain flies and their maggots are powerful tools in determining the time of death.) If you somehow got away with the wood chipper, you could go fishing and use the flesh as chum to lure fish in. Or, I suppose, you could use larger chunks to go shark fishing. (The highly aggressive bull shark is conveniently located in the Mississippi River, Zambezi River, Amazon River and its tributaries, most of Australia’s rivers, the Ganges, and Lake Nicaragua if you can’t get to the ocean. Also, piranhas in the Amazon.) No one is going to look for a body in a mako shark’s belly. LOCATIONS Cemetery This would work rather nicely. A cemetery is full of dead things to begin with. The cadaver dogs would stop at every other plot. The best idea would be to find a freshly-dug grave, dig it up again, pop your body in with the other unfortunate soul, and fill in the hole. That justifies the bare soil and the dead smell the police will find when they come looking. Water Bodies fill up with gas when they decompose. This means they will float to the surface of a body of water if not otherwise secured. Tie the body to a cinder block or iron before tossing them into the water. Remember that the police can dredge a body of water they suspect a body of being in. (A dredge is a machine that gathers up sediments and brings them to the surface.) The police can also send divers and place nets at the mouths of rivers and streams to catch any bodies floating past. The easiest way to avoid both is to sink the corpse in the ocean at a depth humans dive to. Anything past the continental shelf should be good, but here is the maximum depth a human diver has achieved (for reference): 1,044 ft (318 m). Anything past any continental shelf would be international waters anyway, and that could hinder or help an official investigation. Swamp Swamps stink. They have water. Stuff decomposes there like no one’s business. You might think it’s ideal. And, for the most part, swamps are good. Most can’t be dredged (unless the ground is solid or the waterway big enough to support a dredge mounted on a boat) and the water is murky (hindering divers). In tropical locations, the body would decompose quickly. However, DO NOT under any circumstances bury anything you want to disappear in a peat bog. The Tollund Man was killed sometime around the 4th century BC and tossed into a peat bog. When he was found in 1950 AD, he was so well-preserved that the police thought he was a recent murder victim. Say no to peat bogs. A Cold Place Seasonally cold (the British Isles, most of northern Europe, New Zealand, the Continental United States = Seeing as seasonal cold weather is sort of a neutral zone – not too hot, not too cold – hiding a body in this environment is sort of meh. It’ll decompose quickly in the summer if in a humid climate and freeze in the winter if in a frigid climate. Use the permanently cold or either of the hot place notes, depending on the season. Permanently cold (Siberia, Alaska, Antarctica, Northern Canada) = look up Ötzi the Iceman and mummified woolly mammoths dug out of Siberian snow banks. Cold means an absence of flesh-eating organisms, like maggots. Cold also slows or completely stops the body’s bacteria from decomposition, resulting in a mummified body that could last thousands of years. However, if you did dispose of a corpse in Siberia, I don’t think you would need to worry about anyone finding it. Siberia has a population density of 3 people per square mile – but really less than that, considering 70% of its people live in cities. A Hot Place Hot + humid (like a rainforest) = good. The body will decay faster and have a larger number of organisms feasting on it. The body – except the bones – might disappear within a week. If you did stash a body in a rainforest, it would be nigh on impossible to find amongst all that foliage. On the other hand, it’ll start to stink very quickly. Hot + arid (like a desert) = not so good. The heat will mummify the bodies like the pharaohs of Egypt. Burying a body in sand isn’t a good idea, either. Sand erodes faster than soil. Sand dunes themselves move more than three feet each year and they aren’t kind enough to take the body with them.
Jeffrey Lionel Dahmer (May 21, 1960 – November 28, 1994), also known as the Milwaukee Cannibal, was an American serial killer and sex offender, who committed the rape, murder and dismemberment of 17 men and boys between 1978 and 1991, with many of his later murders also involving necrophilia, cannibalism and the permanent preservation of body parts—typically all or part of the skeletal structure.[1] While I messed up his name, he is anything BUT an American Hero.
Considering "The Body" was a movie from 2001 starring Antonio Banderas, the DVD could be disposed of in many ways. The most obvious... just throw it in the trash.
I'd take the Hannibal route and hide the body in my set of mighty organs. As for the murder weapon I would just bite my nails until all the evidence is removed~
Well there are many ways personally I think the best way is to give it to krysyy, she has many magical powers
Bin laden style. Put it in a large metal box meant for a total DB then let it sink to the bottom of the ocean so his "followers" don't worship the mighty Osama bin laden
