My experience with relationships has been short but intense. I've only had one ;serious' girlfriend and we only dated for a few months, but it was a distance relationship during my freshman year of college, and thus I learned a heck of a lot. I don't know what it's like to be in a relationship for that long and have it just end, but I can still try to give some pointers. 1. Don't spend too much time on "would have, could have, or should have". Learn from your mistakes, but don't dwell on guilt or pain. As a rule of thumb, if you feel bad about something that's already happened and you've truly learned from it, just let it go. If you think you've learned something but it still bothers you, then see if you've actually applied that lesson to your life since then. You won't get over the relationship until you actually start using the things you've learned from it. 2. Talk about it to people you know are wise - not just people you are close to. Even the best of friends can give really, really bad relationship advice. Talk to several people and think about what they say. I'm sure that by yourself you've already thought about pretty much every possible aspect of the relationship - talking to others can quickly expand your view on things. 3. If you're a Christian, pray and read the bible (if you're not, then I don't mean to preach - I'm just trying to help). Don't expect an immediate answer. Just pray for help and read faithfully. There could be something you need to realize before you can understand the particular question you're asking. In my relationship, I made the mistake of putting my girlfriend before God and letting her change my opinion about my faith. Now that you're out of the relationship, that shouldn't really be a problem, but putting God first can still really improve your perspective. 4. Do the things you enjoyed before the relationship. Sports, games, music, shows, hobbies - whatever things you already enjoyed before you started dating. If these things remind you too much of the relationship, then focus on building up your own experiences with them. For example, if a certain song reminds you of her but you like it, don't avoid it; rather, make your own happy experiences with it (luckily I hated most of my ex's favorite songs anyway). 5. Don't wait to forget about her. Yes, you probably won't worry about it as much in weeks, months, or years, but you can't just "gut it out" until then. It's going to suck until you do forget about her, so just focus on making your life fulfilling without her in the meantime. Good luck!
