I'm starting to notice a "Nice guys finish last" thing going on. No, nice guys don't finish last, it's just that girls don't have to date you just because you're nice to them.
I hate to say this soul, but if she has a boyfriend then you should probably put your energy into liking someone else. If a relationship were to form, it would not be healthy because she left someone else to be with you. And if she did that, then she doesn't have a sense of commitment/loyalty and isn't worthy of you. (This part is null and void if you are good friends) If your friends already outed you about liking her, then best thing you can do is to own up to it. Be fun and charming all you can be, but know that at the end of the day, if she doesn't like you, she just doesn't and you cannot change that. The biggest piece of advice I can give you is to be confident in yourself. It's attractive to any sensible girl.
Well said... Tell you what. Ask 10 girls, whether they would prefer to "date" a 'good guy' or a 'bad boy'. Ask which they 'Like' better... (Maybe I just hang out with the wrong crowd...) But time after time after time cannot just be a coincidence. When someone asks me what makes me attractive, I say... I am a jerk . I don't need to add a thing to be attractive for others...I was born this way! Love me or hate me, I don't care. I will say this. Back when I was 'nice' I could not get a date. When I became a jerk, girls would fight over me! Soulpunisher, if you like her, and have difficulty talking, practice on some others you don't care about. Will help you two fold. It will let you have fun, and you will realize that you don't really like her the way you think you do. Who knows, the ones you "don't care about" you may just find you got more in common than you realize.
Also Soul, if you are only going to befriend only for dating her, then I don't think dating is something you're ready for. I know that sounds harsh, but you should be ready to be "friendzoned." Amazingly, the friendzone isn't the worst thing in the world.
Just wanted to say that as a real chick i like hanging out with 'good' guys who are funny, outgoing, intelligent, kind, have morals and respect me as a human being instead of an object that can be experimented with. I don't like dating guys who won't respect my wishes and won't take no for an answer when I politely turn them down, and I don't like dating 'bad guys' who might abuse/molest/stalk me or degrade me.
M'lady (Kidding) But like Palm said, girls/women like boys/men who are confident and nice but not creepy. If you walk up to a girl and say "Hello M'lady, aren't you looking beautiful today"? You have failed before you even started.
I'm eating your advice. Yeah, eating. And i'm making a thing out of it... I have Spanish tomorrow, second lesson, and questions will probably be asked because I sit next to her I'm gonna make a conversation because like hell i'm going to miss out on the chance to talk to her properly and regret it on the last day of my life. I don't care if I don't get a relationship out of it, or whatever. I'll have a new friend, and she thinks i'm cute, and that's enough for me And meh, maybe in a few years time things will have changed (I managed to make a girl like me in the space of 5 months in Year 7 when I was 12. I can do that at 14, I think... Oh and, yeah, I was a pimp. ) and I will have a chance Also, i'm going to be myself. Cocky, arrogant, brash (I made that sound bad. I'm not. Its only lightly I'm not overly confident, but i'm not under-confident either.) as opposed to my quiet, reserved, and 'unwilling to stick up for myself' (I get picked on every lesson by the other three boys in my class and let it go over my head. Sometimes I just want to snap all of their necks, or just lie down and cry on the floor, but all the girls stick up for me and I get attention off them ) self I am in lessons. Because everyone's surprised to learn that around my friends and family and people i'm comfortable with I will say whatever the hell I want and i'll start an argument if someone else picks me on me >.>
Well hello 0.01%! <-- said I would do that. As a "guy" (whatever that label means), I enjoy hanging out with people who have a good HEART regardless whether they are or are not funny, outgoing, or intelligent. The 'kindness and morals' goes with who has a good heart. We all fail at having a good heart all the time, but mean well. Yup, people who don't take 'no' for an answer, or ANYONE who abuses, molests, stalks, or degrades anyone -- I will ALWAYS be the biggest 'Jerk' to. I would hope that nobody would put up with any of the above items you mention. However… I often see many who do put up with this. Interesting though because I said “bad boy”… not psychopath!!!!! Now, time to be honest. Think of 10 girls you know. Are they dating 'nice' guys?
Keep in mind, the majority of us are in our teens. Most of the people we date during our teens are just for the privilege of saying "I go out with an attractive person". Later on in life we'll look for someone more mature - somebody to keep. I know of only one person who has dated a single person since Year 7. And they're quite happy together. If they were to marry each other in 10 years time, i think they'd suffer marriage problems. Don't ask why - i've just...observed that most married couples who dated in their teens tend to argue a lot and divorce.
And just to point out, glad you said 'hang out with'... not 'date'. But in all seriousness, take what I say with a grain of salt. I've seen and done loads, met tons of different people, been up, down sideways, across, and back at the starting point after going thru the finish line. And... I am still learning.
Yuppers, I am aware of that. I am out of school, out of college, so I am past all of that. Good gosh back when I dated in school, it was not just for a privilege of saying "I go out with an attractive person". Was for many reasons. I hope what I say will make you think of what and why I am saying what I do. There is the 'reality' that you live in... the way you think things should work, and then there is real reality in how things actually work. When you stop "looking", and go out to have fun... that is golden. You really don't need anybody but yourself to go out and have fun. And yes, most marriages fail within 10 years time. Now-a-days, people have no respect, live for instant gratification, and have no idea what commitment means. Most also believe that love is only a feeling. In addition its a new 'trend' to be cool and go thru divorce. If both people don't know respect, love, humility, compassion, tolerance, and sacrifice, it will not last. Takes two to tango.
My mum and dad have been married for 16 years and I don't see them divorcing anytime soon Now that i've said that i'm going to wake up tomorrow morning and my mum'll be like "Your dad's moved out to be with another woman" I can be mature... just not all the time. What's the point in life if you can't be immature every once in a while? Also, I don't usually make dirty jokes unless the 'time is right'. When I was 12-13, whenever somebody so much as said "I like" i'd make some kind of dirty minded thing out of it >.>
So there I am just thinking about what the actual hell i'm supposed to say tomorrow, and have a mini panic. Its going to be a fun day tomorrow, isn't it? /sarcasm
I am not the most experienced person with this kind of thing or the kind of person who is actually interested in a relationship right now, but I will just state my observations. In school, I have always been that quiet awkward nerdy kid who everyone but the jerks respect to be an alright person. This may not sound like the kind of guy girls would like, but it has worked out for me. I currently know of several intelligent, attractive girls who do like me. Here are my tips: 1. Don't let others get you down: If someone is messing with you, don't let them get to you. When you let them get to you, your confidence dwindles. Girls like confidence. 2. Be honest: Any good girl worth pursuing will like an honest guy. 3. Stand up for yourself: If it is really worth it and you have nothing to lose, stand up for yourself around your enemies. Who cares what they think? Girls will end up standing up against them as well if you have a valid issue. You might end up with more friends, and a better reputation among girls that are really worth it. However, be careful when doing this or you may ruin a possible relationship. 4. Think before you speak: (pretty self explanatory) 5. Stay away from friends who enjoy trying to set you up. 6. Don't pursue girls who will cause you moral harm: Is pursuing an attractive girl really worth it if you will be associated with things you find to be wrong? Don't screw yourself over! 7. Be friendly to everyone: Jerks will start to leave you alone, and you will make connections in high places and will end up with more options. 8. Always be able to disengage: Never trap yourself in a corner or you will end up looking bad. 9. Screw stereotypes: If you are a nerd (may not apply), like me, don't let that stop you from dominating in physical activities. When I realized that nothing was holding me back, I learned that I could outrun most of the football (American Football) team and that I could throw with accuracy and effectiveness. If you have physical education class, don't hold back. Do your best in everything you do. When I started doing this, I gained a reputation of speed, cunning, and strength. Be careful how you do this though because the way I became associated with strength was by accidentally breaking a girl's finger in the game of foursquare after hitting the ball too hard. 10. Be associated with intelligence and morality: Girls worth pursuing will like guys who value morality and intelligence. 11. Sometimes relationships aren't worth it: Most won't last, but some will and can cause marital issues if they are pursued. It is usually best to just be friends.
