I kidnap colepuncher because I Googled it, and such machine does not exist, thus crushing my hopes and dreams. As for ransom, well:
I kidnap everyone and blackknight1021 because I don't want him to be alone with his hopes and dreams crushed. So in exchange I want a hug from everyone o3o
I kidnapped kissthenerd because I have overdue library books. I will gladly exchnge her if Half-Life 3 is confirmed.