Greetings people of EMC. I come to you today requesting, nay, begging for your aid. The Skeletal War is almost upon us, and we as a human race must be prepared. I have come to understand that many of you do not know what the Skeletal war is, so I, BurgerKnight, shall enlighten you. It all began many moons ago . . . Once upon a time, the skeletons and humans lived in peace and harmony. Having once been skeletons themselves , who simply evolved into having skin, cooperation was an obvious conclusion. The humans provided the skeletons with the calciums they needed to survive, and the skeletons did their dootliest to keep the humans safe from harm. This worked well for trillions of years, and our species got closer and closer to each other, so close that most skeletons started inhabiting the human form, to increase the efficiency of their symbiotic relationship. But then, everything changed. A small band of skeletons came to the conclusion that humans were weak, and that the skeletons were the ones who were holding all the power in the relationships, and by extension, that the humans needed to be forced to work for the skeletons. The humans tried everything to reason with these crazed skeletons, even agreeing to go to couples counseling. But alas, it was not enough. The skeletons grew more restless by the day; a revolution was coming, and it was coming fast. Luckily, the humans, although not as strong as the skeletons, were many times more intelligent. They devised a way to lock the skeletons already inside the humans within them, greatly reducing the skeleton numbers. However, this caused the skeletons inside to fly into a rage, causing things not seen before, such as broken bones and sore joints. We also learned of a way to lock the skeletons in another world, a limbo. We lured all the skeletons in with an offer of submission to them, but at the last second, we locked them away, saving our race. Or so we thought. The skeletons were smarter than we gave them credit for. After quadrillions of years of being locked away, they figured out how to breach the limbo. But only for one night, once a year. And when the breach occurred, they needed something to take their place, lest they be drawn back in the next morning. So they chose a day very special to them: Halloween, a day when they could launch a surprise attack, using the spirit of the festivities to mask their initial assault. Even to this day, many humans do not know about the scourge of skeletons that come on Halloween. But we can defeat them. They only have enough calciums to work for a short time, and they need calciums from humans to keep themselves going. And one of the greatest source of calciums is milk. So whatever you do, if you must flee from a skeleton, make sure they do not get your milk. If they do, it's game over. So this Halloween, I beg of you, my fellow fleshies, aid me in repelling the vile skeletons from our world, or if you are unable to, just stay on your guard. You never know where a skeleton could be. In fact, there could even be one inside of you . . . . .
Conspiracy theory? There's a skeleton in me, right? Half? I can't really get rid of it; it's fused to my body...
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Sock Monkeys have no skeletons they're made of socks, delightful fluff and pure awesomeness. Still...humans are ok, so we can help them.
