[POEM] It Has Been A Long Time

I feel like before you read this, there should be some kind of warning. I'm not sure what to say about it really, I suppose it is a collection of depressing thoughts. I wrote this today. Read at your own risk. Give me your thoughts, without further ado, here is my poem, "It has been a long time".

It has been a long time

It has been a long day

It has been a long time

You have lost your way

You aren't in your prime

You don't feel happy

You do feel sad

Maybe you'll agree

That you think you're going mad

When you've lost the will

And all that is close

Your insides start to kill

Defeated by your woes

You don't know what to do

You've traveled many a mile

But for those who care for you

You try and fake a smile

You grit your teeth

Smile on your face

But on the underneath

You know it has no place

It has been a long day

It has been a long time

You try to find a way

But it will be a long climb

I'm not sure if it's any good, some of it doesn't feel that right, but perhaps I am being too self-critical, as always. Thanks for reading, please feel free to give constructive criticism.

Anon

Well, I guess it's worth giving this a little bump. What are your thoughts on this writing?

Please, give me your thoughts and ideas. Bumping again.

Anon

It's you. It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you MURDERED ME.

Hopefully someone gets the reference..

Anyways, I like the poem

That's really good. I like the repetition on the opening and close. I've dealt with depression time and time again, and this strikes home. There's two little sentences I read just earlier today on imgur (yes, I know, how original of me to copy someone else's words).

One is "You are so brave and so quiet that I forget you are suffering," and the other is actually from along the lines of the OP. Similar to "Suddenly every song and every script written is about you". Link here

I tend to take depression fairly seriously. My concern of others' well being goes from 0 to 60 in 3 seconds. Heck, I'm a counselor at a string camp (5-7th grade), one of my boys from 5th grade said to me "I'm depressed" with a smile on his face, and I hoped to god that he was joking. Because nobody deserves that state of mind.

I haven't played Portal 2 before. Thank you for your feedback, Builder.

Thank you for your feedback, Neon. I haven't wrote like this in a while but I felt I needed to. I went for an ABAB structure and tried to make it flow, and used the repetition to show more feeling. It's not a happy poem but it's one that some people relate to, it's kind of my way of showing people how other people sometimes think. Depression is not a fun thing and it doesn't go away easily, it's a constant battle. Your comment and lines are very strong, thank you again for your message, Neon.

I'm not sure if anybody else wants to see this, but I'll bump it anyway.

Bumping.

I was thinking Arkham Knight since the Joker keeps going on about how Batman killed him but then I remembered Portal 2 how glados kept going on about murder. I dunno which one it's from ;-;


Good poem though! It has some pretty deep quotes

Awesome poem! I agree with neonkillah, the repetition at the beginning and end sounds really good. Got any other poems?

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Thank you for your feedback, Tech. I'm glad you like the style. I don't have any others, this is the first one, just an impromptu kind of thing I did to get some of my feelings out there.

"Maybe I am being too self-critical..."

Yep.

That was a great poem. It all flowed together well, all the rhymes really worked, and it was just overall a great poem.

I agree, great poem.

I personally, Thought it was Quiet amazing, And you should do more Poems and things like this.

Thank you all, I appreciate the kind words.