nab please read my guide http://empireminecraft.com/threads/cat-guide-catch-hatch-breed-feed.4802/ for the solution to your problem. And yes you have to be close by for them to grow. And it lag influence it. The old server 1-4 suffer much from the update. utopia (for having less player) and 5-6 work better due to better hardware -> faster kitten growth rate.
yes. just go to an unexplored area and explore. they're fairly common, i found 4 or 5 jungle biomes in a couple of hours.