**This adaptation of the classic story The Three Little Pigs by James Halliwell-Phillipps is brought to you by Empire Minecraft player khixan.
Once upon a time, there were 3 little pigmen brothers. They’d gone walk-about through The Nether seeking their fortune.
The youngest little pigman quickly found piles of netherrack scattered across his path.
“This will make an easy and excellent house!” he thought, and gathered up the netherrack. He had a house built in no time at all, and was quite please with himself. His brothers complimented his house, but they wanted to build something different, and so they continued on their way.
Soon a ghast happened by, crying out because she was so very hungry. She saw the little pigman all alone in his netherrack house, and she was so delighted. Pigman was her most favorite meal! They were so pesky too because they so rarely traveled alone.
She knocked at his flimsy wall and cried out “little pigman, little pigman, let me come in”.
“No no no, not by the hair on my chinny chin chin.”
“Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blast your house in!”
With a huff and a puff, the ghast fired three blasts, and exploded the house. The little pigman ran for his life down the path his brothers had taken with the ghast in hot pursuit.
Meanwhile, the two brothers came across a fellow traveler who was carrying sticks and planks.
“Oh how lovely! Would you be willing to trade the sticks and planks for some of these shiny nuggets?” asked the little pigman.
“Why yes, that is a very fair trade” said the traveller. He quickly took the gold nuggets and gave the little pigman all his sticks and planks, and then he headed on his way down the minecart rail.
So the middle brother acquired the sticks and planks, and set about building a house right away. He was quickly done and quite pleased with himself.
“Very attractive” said the eldest brother “but I think I’d rather make something else for myself.” And so the eldest brother continued on his way, forming a plan for what he would like to make for himself. He hopped onto the nether rail to take himself after the traveller.
The youngest little pigman came upon the middle brother’s new wooden house.
“A horrible big bad crying ghast is chasing me! Help help!”
“Quick, lock the fences up tight” said the middle brother. “She won’t get in here. I’ve built my house from materials from a far away land.”
The ghast saw the wooden house and laughed to herself. Soon she would have roasted little pigmen!
“Little pigmen, little pigmen, let me come in.”
“No no no, not by the hair on my chinny chin chin” replied the middle brother.
So the ghast took a huff, and she took a puff, and she blasted the house in. Fire quickly spread over the house.
“Down the escape hatch, quick quick quick!” The middle brother led the youngest out and to the nether rail while the ghast waited for her roasted pigmen meal. She saw them at the last second as they whooshed away in a minecart.
“This will not do at all, I will have my little pigmen meal!” And so she followed the rail as the minecart with the brothers vanished into the distance.
The eldest brother had been so very busy during all this. He had followed the traveller. He had gone to far away lands and learned many things. He had crafted tools and furnaces and smelters. He had mined for cobble and iron. He’d gathered lava in buckets. Now he mined the netherrack and smelted it into dark glossy nether bricks. He crafted this into blocks. He smelted his iron and made sturdy iron doors and fences. He gathered glowstone for lighting using enchanted iron shears.
His younger brothers arrived from the minecart rail.
“There is a horrible big bad ghast that is after us! She wants to eat us, and she blasted our houses!” the little pigmen brothers cried at their elder.
“Help me build my house with these bricks and iron. She will never blast this house down. We will have marshmallows and hot cocoa while she tries” the eldest brother calmly stated.
They built the new netherbrick house. They built it strong and sturdy. They locked up tight behind the iron doors.
The hungry screaming ghast arrived.
“Little pigmen little pigmen, LET ME IN!”
“Not for all the tea in China lady” replied the eldest brother.
“I will huff and I will puff and I WILL blast this house in!”
She huffed, and she puffed, and she blasted and blasted. She screamed and she screamed “Feed me! FEEEEED MEEEEEEE!!!”
But the house held. The little pigmen had roasted marshmallows and hot cocoa, and they gave the big bad ghast none. She screamed and blasted until her voice was nearly lost. All that remained of “feed me” was a high pitched squeaking cry. The ghast gave up but kept shrieking her high pitched cry. She and her children are still crying to be fed the little pigmen to this day.
The three little pigmen grew up and lived happily ever after.
Till one of their grandchildren decided a house just wasn’t good enough. He wanted a fortress with guards. But that is a different story altogether, and will have to be told another day if anyone survives still to tell it.