Thought I'd Share Somethin' Fun of A Poem Called "Rain"

Discussion in 'Writers' Corner' started by Seashellxoxo, Dec 2, 2019.

  1. Aoi_Kaigara's "Rain"

    I wish I was rain.
    So I could touch someone’s skin,
    And feel what they feel.

    I wish I was rain.
    The soothing sound of its voice
    Calls for one to play.
    I wish I was rain.
    The soothing touch as it falls
    On top of my face.
    I wish I was rain.
    As it touches my own skin
    And feels what I feel.

    I wish I was rain.
    So I could fall in puddles
    And make a large flood.
    I wish I was rain.
    So my flood could wash away
    The fears of children.
    I wish I was rain.
    So the children play with me.
    Play in my puddles.

    I wish I was rain.
    A rainbow could form from me
    ...And a bit of light.
    I wish I was rain.
    I could get along with light
    And form a beauty.
    I wish I was rain.
    In movies it’s a sad sight.
    A real life beauty.
    I wish I was rain.
    To satisfy movie scenes.
    A sense of feeling.
    I wish I was rain.
    As I would fall from the clouds,
    I’d watch the world.
  2. Im Speechless :eek:
  3. Pretty cool. :)
    A subject I have not seen addressed before by poetry or prose. But I like it! :)
  4. Thanks, you guys!
  5. I like how each stanza is centered differently its unique:)
    607 likes this.
  6. Thanks!
    Otus_NigRum likes this.
  7. ...just thought i would point out that you misspelt my name.... its 'r a a y n n' ...

    Lol just kodding. But seriously, beautiful poem.
    607 likes this.
  8. Hahaha, I have to reread the poem now, reading your name instead. :D
    Raaynn likes this.
  9. Wow! Nicely done, BlueShell! Very subtle... I'm delighted, and I'm impressed!

    The slightly asymmetrical yet very natural feeling of the waka rythm, the appolinairian calligram, the drone-like quality of the épanaphore (-couldn't find the translation in english-), all that blends marvelously in a very poetic rain.
    607 likes this.
  10. Thanks!
  11. Lol. Thank you!
  12. I kept meaning to come back to this when I had a moment to read through it in a nice leisurely pace.

    So glad I did. I found it very soothing and each stanza gave me a picture in my mind to spend a moment with and take it all in.

    Thank you so much for sharing. =]
    607 likes this.
  13. Than