At the start of the year I was a happy boy not letting anything get me down. I was an A+ student that would spend all of his free time to study or hang out with friends, i had been playing Minecraft for a couple of years. now back to the fact, i have had two of the most important people in my life die when i was very young. So yes i didn’t have anyone who wanted to take me so i got adopted. i luckly got put in the same state that i wanted because i had grown up there. I have been battling depression for a long time now and wanting to kill myself on every other day. But the only thing that is holding me back is the thing that people will cry and miss me and that is one thing that i don’t want, i don’t want to see people in pain because of me. I have been crying myself to sleep almost every day for months and i have dropped out of 2 public schools this year because i won’t show up, while my step parents are going off saying “why aren’t you at school are you stupid?” and such. I normally just walk out of school at lunch and not go back till a couple days later. And before anyone says “you were here for a reason” don’t say it;; i was a mistake and thats all i’ll ever been i have been wanting to tell people for a long time so here it is... please help
callum bud don't say that your here at emc is a good thing people wanna talk to u man just like i did a few moments ago when u where online letting it out is good but letting it define who you are isn't. I can tell you on thing you are one of my friends and i am not ur only friend as we know so for u to be our friend is not s mistake, u playing with us isn't a mistake, u being here isn't a mistake cause believe me I'm %100 sure u have made others happy and others will make u happy and that the truth be told is not a mistake no matter what.
You were put here for a reason. Yes, I said it. Odds are, you don't know what that reason is yet, but one day, you will, and you will be glad you stuck around for it. Now that that's out of the way, on to the rest. I am so sorry for the loss of (I assume) your parents. Although I haven't had anyone extremely close to me die, I've been around others who have been mourning losses, and the same offer stands for you that stood for them: If you ever need anyone to talk to, vent at, supply a shoulder to cry on, give advice, or just listen, I, along with the rest of the EMC community, am always here for you. I know you're probably sick of hearing this by now and feel like it's just a cliche, but whatever you do, don't kill yourself. Even though they may not show it through their actions, you have no idea how many people would be heartbroken if you take your own life. As you said, you've experienced a loved one die, and if for one reason and one reason only, keep on living just so others don't have to feel that same pain. Life is a series of ups and downs, and although you are currently in a down, things are bound to get better. A few other people on EMC, in the past, have expressed similar feelings to yours right now, and myself and a few others have helped them get through their struggles. Almost immediately after, they thanked us and told us what a mistake it would have been had they killed themselves. Please do not make that mistake. As for dropping out of school and your step parents harassing you about it, the easiest way to change that is to just keep going to school. You said before that you were an A+ student, which means you certainly have what it takes to be successful. Yes, school can suck, and it sucks for me too, but I just try to take it one day at a time, look forward to weekends/vacations/summer, and just keep looking ahead. Eventually, you will be done with school, be at a job that you love, and life will be great for you. As I said earlier, you are in a low point right now, but it's going to get better. Please. Whatever you do, don't kill yourself. Everyone here on EMC who loves you would be heartbroken. If you ever need support of any kind, just ask. The community will help you get through these tough times. That's what we're here for.
Closing thread. Sorry for your trouble but this kind of thread isn't allowed on Emc. Best to talk with your local school counselor or local priest. If really having these thoughts best to call these on this site: https://www.lifeline.org.au/ or http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/international/australia-suicide-hotlines.html
