Rainstorm

Discussion in 'Writers' Corner' started by AcerbusOrphanus, Oct 7, 2014.

  1. Good day friends, Following physical exhaustion and upwards of three cups of coffee I have written a "story" I suppose. It's rather short but I hope you may derive some sort of enjoyment from it.

    Rainstorm

    Grey clouds gather in a suffocating sky over a train station. The clamor of the platform closes around it, a concrete jut in a sea of traffic, dirt and noise. One of many in a large city, people choking every space. I push through the mass vying for a spot to board the incoming train. I brush past so many people, some seek my eyes briefly only to turn away before meeting them. The tortured scream of the rails heralds the arriving train. The sea of bodies roils and boils, a torrent of human streaming towards too small doors on a too small train. I’m swept inside, every space suffocating with the sheer closeness of life. I brace myself and fight through it towards a lone seat, isolated in the midst of a crowd. I sit, the pale blue leather too hard to be comfortable yet soft in all the worst ways. My eyes grow heavy, I’m tired, my body aches for rest, my mind begs for quiet and I turn to stare out the window to the shifting grey-scape beyond. I sense rather than see someone sit next to me, the leather creaks ever so slightly as their weight is shifted onto it. I’m tired, I don’t want to talk to anyone, I pretend to take no notice of the newcomer, the invader from the crowd. I turn my head to stare down at my right hand now, it’s nails ragged and palm calloused from the days work. I make a show of inspecting each digit, scraping imaginary dirt from tired skin. My arm aches so I lower my hand to rest on my knee and return my gaze back to the window, now a sheet of green as failing sunlight plays upon the stained plastic.
    Minutes and stations pass as the train trudges on, bringing me closer to home one jolt at a time. As I stare out, wholly absorbed in my task of ignoring the world, I feel a peculiar warmth creep onto my little finger. It begins to spread across the back of my worn hand, enveloping my cold skin with a touch like pinpricks of light. Puzzled I look down to make sense of the feeling to see the stranger next to me holding my hand in theirs. As I watch transfixed, their fingers intertwine with mine sending electric pulses up my veins. I look up to see their face, she has soft brown hair and shining dark eyes. She meets my questioning gaze with a shrug and a sad smile, I feel her hand tighten around mine. Inexplicably I return the squeeze, feeling her fingers being moved by mine. A single tear rolls down her cheek and I find myself now mirroring her quiet smile. She traces a vague pattern on my palm that reminds me of better days and I give her another reassuring squeeze in answer. We spend the rest of the train ride like that, hand in hand without so much as knowing each other’s names. Too soon an announcement blares through our sanctuary declaring this station mine. I reluctantly untangle my fingers from hers and smile goodbye, she does the same and I turn to brave the world once again.

    I find myself outside the train now, my fingers still warm from her embrace. I turn to look back at the departing train and catch her eye, she smiles her smile and waves ever so slightly with the hand that had only moments before been in mine. Part of me wishes to run after her, but I don’t. Instead I smile my smile and wave back, maybe it’s my imagination but the sky seems so much wider now. I take a deep breath and start to walk home.
    607 and southpark347 like this.
  2. Wow. Beautiful. Really, really good, thank you.
    AcerbusOrphanus likes this.