Pen's Weekly Rant #8

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by penfoldex, Aug 24, 2013.


Vote for next week's topic!

Poll closed Aug 31, 2013.
Ben Affleck as Batman! 0 vote(s) 0.0%
Ben Affleck as Batman! 3 vote(s) 27.3%
Sock monsters from Planet 3 1 vote(s) 9.1%
Ben Affleck as Batman! 3 vote(s) 27.3%
The Battle of 5842, under your bed 4 vote(s) 36.4%
  1. Hello again. Welcome to another rant. Let's get started shall we?
    So last week, Star Wars 7 and Valve and #3 tied in the vote for this week. That means two rants! (this is where the crowd is supposed to cheer)

    Ok, why on earth do we need a Star Wars 7?! Star Wars 6 had a good enough ending to the series as a whole if you were to watch them in chronological story order. Disney seems to just want to make more money on the Star Wars franchise. Actually, Disney's always trying to make money. Disney->$_$ -MWAHAHAHAHA (artist depiction)
    What's the point going to be? Following the story of Luke's children? It wouldn't be as good…
    Sure, it's Star Wars for the next generation, but they can still enjoy the classics. So if Star Wars 7 is successful, we can expect a Star Wars 8 and 9. Bringing back the original cast? That's like bringing back dinosaurs for an amusement park! That's like swimming into a shark's mouth/jaw! There's no point for Star Wars 7! We don't need another film!

    As most of you are aware of, Valve has quite a bit of trouble counting to 3. Half-Life 2 hasn't gotten a sequel, Portal 2 hasn't gotten a sequel, Left 4 Dead 2 hasn't gotten a sequel, Dota 2, Half-Life Episode 2, Team Fortress 2, just a bunch of 2's. (Actually Team Fortress probably shouldn't get a 3; does it really need another one when they could just update the game?)
    We do know Valve is older than 3, it just probably failed math over and over due to it's fear of 3. Or maybe Valve is trying to hold off on the 3's so we go crazy and when they do come out, everybody will be freaking out and blowing all their money on the games and possibly the DLCs. Valve has all these anxious fans waiting for any sign of a 3. They're probably laughing at how desperate fans are for 3s. Or they have a serious fear of 3. 3-o-phobia. Contact Valve at 3-0-phobia or email them at Be sure to leave them a BIG (font size 3) 3 in the email to REMIND THEM THAT WE ARE WAITING FOR A THIRD GAME TO ANY OF THEIR SERIES. Also, be sure to send 3 emails, so we know that they got the email. And fax them too. Phone them, drive up to them, repeat the message 3 times, etc.

    -Pen F
    The author is not responsible for any injuries, lawsuits, penguins received, or crates caused by this rant. He is also not to be associated with these opinions stated in this rant. Have a nice day, people of the internet.
    mba2012 likes this.
  2. Yes, very true.
  3. mba2012 likes this.
  4. and left 4 dead 3 IS confirmed it uses source engine 2
    jtc0999 likes this.