Just take a moment to read this.

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by ShrinkingMatt, Jun 29, 2015.

  1. Hey everyone, this is going to be about as informal as you can get so sorry.

    I just wanted to talk about me? I sound selfish sorry. I've been going through stages of feeling like absolute @$!€, oh by the way this is rated (15) So basically I'm really struggling to be well happy I guess. My family are being as supportive as they can be and doing everything they can to make me smile but nothing is working. I am happy but it will only last for as long as I remember what made me smile and seeing as I have a certain condition I do not wish to speak about I have a terrible memory.

    So many 'events' have occurred in my life that I have no one to talk about.. That's the main issue I've been feeling shit. I just have no one to speak to and yeah I'll admit with only my sister as a friend I'm lonely okay. I do have 'friends' on emc I guess but only a few are real. I would like to say thank you so so much to Ladblo actually, she's been an amazing help and the best friend anyone could ask for. Another one is Pab10s, we didn't start in the most amazing way possible but he's really helped me get through some tough times, there are others but I do not wish to list their names.

    I wish there were set people to talk to. Real people! Not these fake people you meet, I'm talking about the ones that really love you for who you are. I thought I had a lot of friends but trust me you need to be careful who you call your friend.

    I'm not very good at talking about this.. there was a lot motemore I wanted to say but thinking back amto everything isn't nice. I don't eant sympathy or any of that I just want someone to talk to? I don't care who, I never knew it would be this hard to find someone that cares and someone that WANTS to be there for you.

    I would like to end with a short note. My grangrandad told me this the week he passed away fod bless his soul.
    "Don't pick your friends... Let your friends pick you" He wanted me to stop trying to make friends with people I thought I liked, he said if they truly wnat you in their life they will make the effort.

    Thank you for reading this, it really does mean a lot and sorry it's very unorganised. Please do feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to or just want to get to know me? I know what it's like. I know what those dark places are like and I wouldn't ever wish it upon someone. I know what it's like so I prevent others from going there.

    My name is Matthew as some may know and I'm a 16 year old male finishing secondary school. I wish you all the best.
    cdjs1987, Hash98, luckycordel and 2 others like this.
  2. Hey man if you ever need someone to talk to I'll be there. It was a pleasure playing UHC with you
    luckycordel and the_creeper_lord like this.
  3. Thank you, but the pleasure was mine, I'll look forward to a round two maybe if Rainbow chin decides it could work. I'll keep an eye out for you rhino :)
    luckycordel and Runningrhino like this.
  4. Hello there, Matthew. I am quite a closed up person. I deal with all of my problems on my own, but I find myself in dark times a lot. I am quite a secluded person, I am anonymous. It is hard for me to open up because I like to stay hidden. Enough about me, but on with you, I admire that you have come out with a thread like this. It is good to be able to chat in a community like this and share problems and so forth.

    I tend to stay quite closed up as I have just said so it is hard for me to write a reply in response to this but this thread is very strong. If you ever want to chat about something then feel free to PM me, I'll get back as soon as I see a PM in my inbox. I always doubt myself as a helper though. Help never properly worked for me over the last few years and I tend to feel quite helpless when I try to help others cope with their problems. I hope you find happiness, Matthew.
  5. I'm always here for you too! <3
  6. This was a big step for me, most people won't really realise how hard it is to come out and speak to people about your life. I really dl appreciate this. Also I have nevwr seen you on EMC but it seems we have a fair but in common, sadly this isn't the nicest way to meet people but If we both know what it's like I guess this can only go well right? Thank you so much GTR. I will PM tomorrow if you don't mind.
    luckycordel and iGTR like this.
  7. Thank you nfell, I'll keep an eye out for you too online. Have a wonderful night. :)
    epicdigger10 likes this.
  8. You too mate! Just PM me whenever!
    luckycordel and the_creeper_lord like this.
  9. I'm here. Shoot me a PM anytime. Stay strong and sorry about your loss.
  10. If you ever want to vent to me, my inbox is open :)
    If there's any advice I can give you, it's keep your chin up. There are always dark points in life, but I assure you it will get better. I've had little downer spots here and there myself, times when life is just depressing. You just have to get through everything and things will get better, try to smile as much as you possibly can! :)
  11. Than you so much, I'll look forward to speaking again soon :)
    luckycordel likes this.
  12. Yeah, I'm trying to stay positive it jusg gets really nad sometimes, thank you so much for the advice though, it really does help! I'll make sure I try and PM you, thank you so much
    Deadmaster98 and luckycordel like this.
  13. No need to be sorry. Writing messages / using the forum is a 2 way street or double edged blade if you will. You do it both for yourself as well as the other players. And this order can heavily vary too.

    I can't comment on your moments of feeling down like that. Simply because I can't really imagine what it's like and I know better than to try (and pretend?) with these kinds of topics, this is much too serious for that. So; just so we're clear; I'm not ignoring that part. I'm simply not responding because I honestly don't know what to say to that.

    Wise words indeed. This is exactly the reason why I'm also very hesitant in calling some people friends. There are several people on EMC who I grew a liking to, but actually being a friend... That takes a lot more.

    The problem, as I see it, is that in the end this is still a gaming environment. And different people will treat that in a different way. Some players will take things more serious than others. And it is my experience, though obviously biased, that within games not every player will stop to realize that you're talking to (or playing with..) another person and not "just" another player.

    I've seen this happen way too many times myself. People who speak highly of respect and trust and the moment you disagree with them all of those believes turn out to be hollow phrases which are as easily thrown out of the window as they are being mentioned.

    I don't know the exact saying in English, but in Holland we have a saying which basically goes as follows: "you'll come to learn your true friends in times of need".

    Alas, I can say this: I am a real person, I always treat other players as I'd like to be treated myself (at least with some respect for other people's opinions and believes) and yah... I cannot make any promises because I simply don't know you (I do think I've seen you on you SMP2 a few times, and obviously on the forums from time to time) but if you want to hit me up to chat a little about stuff then you're always welcome to that. Though, as said, I can't make any promises about a possible outcome :)

    And this is the part where I'll be perfectly honest with you, even though it might sound a little harsh (which isn't meant that way, but I'd rather be honest at the risk of sounding a little harsh than risk to create possibly false expectations which can only lead to disappointments in the longer run).. You're always welcome to look me up for a chat, no problem at all. But because I don't know you I obviously cannot make promises that this thing is easy.

    Finding someone that wants to be there for you is also build on trust. And that is something which (usually) needs to be earned. Also keep well in mind that what you mentioned above, about being careful of who to call a friend, doesn't only apply to yourself but is also likely to be picked up by the people you meet. People will also be careful around you, especially if they have only met you and/or know you for a short time.

    But I can say that this scenario isn't impossible, but I'm obviously only speaking about my own environment. There are a quite a few people who I only know through Minecraft (though 2 of them also know my personal e-mail address and vice versa, so that's a little more personal). Several of there people have actually gained enough trust from me that if they tell me that they're facing a major problem and would really like some help then they can count on the fact that I'll be there to support them. I also know that some of them feel the same way about me.

    Thing is: it's not impossible, but it's also not something you "just" obtain. The 2 players I mentioned above I now know for more than a year now and we've also gone through some pretty rough times together. That also creates a bond and also helps earn trust.

    Like you said yourself, these topics aren't easy. And what works for me doesn't have to work for you (there's another problem).

    Even so, I think it's a good thing that you write this down like this, at the very least it might help you get a little relief out of this, and who knows what more can happen or come from it....

    Wish you all the best, and yah... Like I said several times now, feel free to hit me up for a chat.
  14. I'm older than you and I have been I have been in what seems like a similar situation to where you are now. One thing I can say is that you are a good looking guy (nothing funny by that) and you look like a smart guy. And I'm guessing you will go to college. This might not mean anything now and it might seem like a long way off but after high school and if you go to University an amazing world opens up. With amazing people that you will really like. I'm guessing you like to learn and experience things. When I went to college I just packed up and left. Didn't really have any friends in high school but quickly found a lot of people that became great friends and are still friends of mine today. I don't want to go on and on but things will come together for you I promise. Hope I don't sound like your dad but it's true.
  15. I realize that this is a very emotional time for you. Stay strong, and remember, that whenever someone shows empathy, they have been in the same boat as you, they want you to stay strong, just take a look at all these wonderful people who have achieved that feeling for you. Your grandpa will always be with you, no matter what happens
  16. We're all here for you! Life can be tough, but in the end, there's a great outcome to it :D
    the_creeper_lord likes this.
  17. *Too many Matts*

    Well, hello there Matt. I am Matt.

    I'm about a year younger than you, a rising Sophomore in high school. And I know all about what you mean. I've had the best of times, and the worst of times. Yes, Charles Dickens.
    I'm not an extremely social person, and I'm not that likable either. To be honest I am a lazy, proud slacker who cannot stand to get up and do anything significant with his life. And, again, honestly, I am trying to lose that, but it isn't easy. I blame this partially on specific psychological conditions, but in the end it is all me that makes the choices. Enough of that crap.

    What your granddad said is completely true. The people who you Ought to value are going to be the ones that go out on a limb to be there for you. They are going to be the loyal, caring ones who would rather help bear your pain than abandon you. And honestly, in the world a lot of us grow up to be familiar with, is a one full of people who are going to throw crap at you for their own benefit. You have to sift through that mud to find the other people; people who actually care.

    In the end, all that sappy stuff you learn about bullying, caring, friendship, etc. is true. It seems like a load of meaningless fluff that people make jokes out of but it is true.

    Back to what your granddad said. What he said doesn't mean that you have to keep to yourself and not attempt to find the people that care. (This is something that I struggle with). You can still try to make good friends. All you have to do when you find one of the people that tries to take advantage of you is shake off whatever hurt they put on your shoulders. Again, as I see it, this is easier said than done. But that's the only way I have found my little birds' nest, a safe haven if you will, of close friends that I am going to try and keep for as long as possible, if not forever. These are the people I know I can share everything with, they like me for the freak I am.

    My major obstacle that I had to overcome was to stop judging people for artificial, material possessions. Wether they be physical objects, personalities, or skills and abilities (or lack thereof) I had to stop. Getting around that was what led me to find good friends.

    I don't know what your obstacle is or wether you even have one, but I wish you the best of luck. In everything.

    So this entire post (sort of) condensed, or at least the general message I was trying to get across: The key to happiness is trying to be the best person you can be. It honestly does bring one joy to bring joy to another, no matter how sappy and cheesy that may sound. Keep artificial friendships as far away from your life as possible, keep your good friends as close as possible.

    I will be sure to say a prayer for your Granddad tonight. He sounds like he was a great person. Hope you find your joy. :)

    I love talking to people, so don't hesitate to send me a PM if you want. ;)