idk this might just be rambling

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by hullmat991, Feb 14, 2013.

  1. First let me just say that I have ABSOLUTELY NO FRIENDS. That includes both real life and virtual life. I have been extremely depressed over the last few well in truth last 5 months. And at one point it got so bad my only way of fighting it was to build a tomb in my home and this was my way of saying what I was contemplating at the time. Flash forward to today and yesterday and while i'm still depressed it wasn't as bad as then until yesterday when i'm at class and the crap begins. Idk why or what it is about me but i'm always the friking target. This time it was about me being alone and apparently my choice of reading material gave the brutes even more ammo to throw at me. (apparently star trek and scifi in general for books makes me a gay) So class ends and I head off to work and my own department manager decides to go off on goddamn rant that at my age being single means I must be gay democrat thats going to go to hell. I'm sorry for rant/rambling but im ready to scream and needed to get this off my chest before i do anything crazy. Aikar if you read this im sorry for dissing the new shop I was quite still upset.
  2. Hull, I may not be the best person to say this, but if you can leave that job. Even if you are having a hard time in class, you shouldn't get it at work. And just ignore the people in the class. Hull from my experience (not much in High School) people who make fun of others are just jealous pieces of crap. I am truly sorry for everything you have to go through and if you need to talk to someone pm me on the forums anytime. I hope it gets better soon.
  3. If you ever want to talk and have a mic you are always welcome in mumble and are a very friendly crowd. Or you can stop and say hi on smp4.
    T1zzle120, Curundu and margaritte like this.
  4. Life is a long path, you will go through hardships and troubles. Sometimes you will think of the worst, you just want to die. This is just how life is, you just need to look at the better side of times. EMC is a great group of people, half of us are not qualified to give you advice, but ask us if you need it. I would suggest talking to a school supervisor, when i was bullied last year, i went to a supervisor and everything was all good. Trust me this will get better.
    Sunny_Chicken and 607 like this.
  5. Life is how you make it. Sure, life is NOT easy, (God said it wouldn't), but go to him, and all will be well
    Sunny_Chicken likes this.
  6. The key to a happy life: Everyone's opinion of you is mostly a reflection on their own thoughts and emotions, and often has very little to do with you.

    You have every right to forge your own path in life, find a place for yourself.

    Depression is the result of intense emotional pain. Sometimes it helps to try to identify the source of your pain and at least, at first, find a way to distance yourself from it, for your own protection. Sometimes you can't.

    Everyone is precious. That means you are precious. Never forget it.
    jay2a and margaritte like this.
  7. preaching how wonderfull (sarcasm) anyways like that one batman movie said "its always darkest before the dawn" and other cheesy sayings. just try not to hurt yourself man life is a precious thing and is not something to squander
    Sunny_Chicken and Curundu like this.
  8. Y'know I have 4 words of advice.
    Talk to a woman, this is how they build relationships
    Ignore all the mean people in your life, if that doesn't work, try and befriend them. If that don't work, punching them in the face usually makes them shut up. However, this is not recommended.
    Today I found out that love Hurts like (Words I should not say on this forum.) I'm in Jr. High, and I just found out that the girl I've had a crush on since 2nd grade likes me back. This is good and bad, because although I feel like the happiest person alive, you always have more questions to ask them, and often no answers come, leaving you in suspense like (more words I should not repeat on this forum,) So sometimes it's better that your alone. Like you, I used to be depressed. Then one day, I said "I'm going to be happy" And now I am. Case closed. Edit: The funny thing is that I'm giving the 23 year old advise, And i'm only 13.
    matthew12hydro likes this.
  9. And the worst part is, I don't have my own phone! :mad:
  10. Hull, thanks for sharing your feelings. I hope writing it down has helped, I know its hard to do. Things will get better. I was bullied terribly at school and never had any friends. I still find it hard to make friends but don't get bullied about it. I once had a bullying line manager, its not easy. Hang on in there. Just concentrate on getting through each day, one at a time, and this phase of your life will pass. There are good days ahead, you just can't see them yet. Please speak to a councilor, this is serious and you deserve better. Do this now whilst you are still at school/college where you can get advice and help for free. And if you are in a small town, consider moving after college to somewhere where people aren't so narrow minded and cruel. The world is a big place, and there is a place in it for you.
  11. know how it feels,just dont pay attention to the "brutes" and hope u ll be ok with the reant
  12. I too contemplate. I had my mind set on committing suicide in October 2011, and then a month later I found a friend after spending 2 months without one. I had just started high school, and I was one of the popular kids until some idiot spread rumours about me. I had constant abuse hurled at me everyday. And it's been like this since year 2 (I was 6 years old and turned 7 that year), and I didn't really care until year 3 (I turned 8 that year), when I would go home, and...well...

    I would cry myself to sleep.

    In year 4 (turned 9 that year), I had a day where everyone was treating me like crap. About 20 minutes after lunch, the teacher asked us if we had a good lunch. I said no, and she asked why, and I said I got angry. The teacher asked why, and I just started crying infront of everyone. I said that people were bullying me and had been since year 2 - and she asked who. I said everyone in the class, and she only punished 2 of the people.

    People still bullied me in year 5 (turned 10 that year), and I just started thinking about suicide about 90% of the time. I found a community I liked on the internet, but people bullied me there too. But I stayed there, and made some friends there. I was banned on that site about 13 times because people got me angry. To be honest, the only thing that really stopped me from actually committing suicide was my dog. I liked the computer, too. I thought about how i'm really lucky to have a dog I love and a computer, because some kids don't have this.

    In year 6 (turned 11 that year :D), in the November of that year, I had pain in my side. I took painkillers every couple of hours because sometimes I felt dizzy from the pain. A week before christmas, I went to the doctors and they put me on medicine. This helped the pain die down a bit, but it was still there. In the January of the year, I stayed off school for 2 weeks because my food was being thrown up whenever I ate it, I was bedridden for a week, and I went to the doctors twice. I went back to school and I wasn't ill. I had a blood test for diabetes, luckily I didn't have it. I spent the rest of that year being bullied and focusing on my education, because SATs were coming up. Towards the end of that year, I stopped being bullied but I was still depressed.

    September 2011 - I start high school and get about 20 friends. For a few weeks, I was one of the popular kids. I then got into a fight with a bully from my primary school, and I almost got hit by a car. The bully gave me a black eye, and I went back to school to get medical attention on my eye. The following day, the bully was put into exclusion, and the day afterwards I was put into exclusion, too. Then the rumours started - they were horrible and made me lose all of my friends.
    In the October, I was having some pretty messed up thoughts about how to commit suicide. Then in November, I met a friend. He brought a little bit of light into my life, and held me back from suicide for a little while. He introduced me to EMC and I never thought about suicide again until June...

    In June I met a girl. She dyed her hair black, wore skull clothing, and was basically just like me, in a way. We talked everyday, and I trusted her with alot of secrets, and she trusted me with alot of her's. Sometime in August, I liked her. And i've never really felt like that about a girl before. Then in December, one of her friends told me the girl liked me...well, she doesn't want to date yet. I asked her out, and she said she'd prefer being friends for a few years incase we messed our friendship up. She is my best friend.
    Whenever somebody insults her or says something dumb about her, I am the only person to confront the people who do that. I get angry when people say they didn't say anything like that.
    One day, somebody called her a retarded emo girl. I grabbed them by the collar, and threw them into a bush.

    So, Hull, I suggest you go find somebody to talk to about this to, possibly go visit a doctor or tell your parents. People who are like you can do wonders with your go find that one person ;)