[closed] *ONLY THE BEST* 5,184 Melon Slices

Are you craving something sweet? Well, you're in luck. Because I have 5,184 melon slices. And I wanna sell them to you.

Please buy my melons. Nothing sour has ever happened in their rind.
They're beautiful, juicy watermelon slices with vibrant red flesh.
Ain't nothin' bitter eva' happened in these melons!
Do you like to snack? I do too. But not on these melon slices anymore, 'cuz I want you to enjoy 'em! Please buy my melons. Just buy my melons!
Ain't nothin' bitter eva' happened in these melons, I'm talkin' no citrus crimes. Sour taste, on these melons? Never heard of it. What is it? No one has ever explained it to me.
Please buy my melons!
Hey, psst! You like these melon slices? Well, guess what? I got a whole bunch of 'em! Cause of... circumstances.
Serve 'em at your party! I'm like a frickin' fruit ninja up here, 'cept the only thing I'm slicing through is my desperation for you to buy these melons.
Just buy my melons.
Hey Laura, are these good melons?
[Laura] They're good melons!
Ain't nothing bitter eva' happened in 'em.
Laura keeps asking for these melons because they're such good melons, but I don't let her near melons anymore because... OMINOUS CRUNCH
[Laura] I like to juggle melons!
slurps Buy my melons.
Hey, look, man. I ain't never showed this to nobody before but I got this weird melon-shaped birthmark and it's telling me somethin' that I didn't realize was important until right now. It spells: Sandra.
Buy my melons!
I need these melons out of my fridge by Tuesday, because on Tuesday I'm having a picnic. And I can't have people comin' to my picnic askin' why the hell there's a MOUNTAIN of MELON SLICES on the table! Can you IMAGINE the confusion?
[Laura] Hey, uh, why d'you have so many melon slices?
How perplexing!
Buy my meeeeeeeeeeeeeee- tropical remix of waffle yelling "melon" -eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelons!
Ain't nothing bitter eva' happened in these melons.
Slurp! Slurp! Buy my melooooooons please....
Just buy my melons!
Excuse me, buy my melons!
Ring ring, hello? Buy my melons.
Just buy my melons!
Ohhhh no, please just buy my melons
Chomp! Chomp! Chomp! Chomp! Buy my melons!
Crunch crunch, what time is it? Oh, It's melon o'clock. Buy my melons.

1r start
1r min increment
Auction ends 72h after last bid
Melons will be sent via EMC Postal Service to winner

1r

51,840 r

because a lot of effort was put into the auction description and I like watermelon.

There's no doubt that this is a must-have for every melon lover you know. Even if you're not that big a fan of them yourself, give them to your friends, give them to your family, give them to your pets, give them to strangers you see walking on the street. There's no meloncholy in these melons, just pure, seeded goodness, grown in the state of New Jersey. Wait, these are Jersey melons? No wonder we're trying to get rid of them.

The melons have been mailed via EMC Postal Service.

Thank you! Melon shipment received and payment sent to Triphora. I tacked on some extra rupee for the shipment fees.