First I want to apologize for all the spam lately. It's not the way this should have gone. I really am a nice person. Maybe if I tell you about myself, we can all learn to love... It all started on November 23, 2015. This has always been a depressing day for me. You see it's the day before Thanksgiving. A day when my all my fellow fowl try to flee the capture of hungry muric'ns. But this year was going to be different. I wasn't going to be rubbed in butter, have bread shoved up in me and cooked to a crisp, no! I was going to get away this year.. I had it all worked out. My kind has always been able to run pretty fast, but it was not enough.. So I needed some help. I purchased an industrial size can of RedBull and drank it all. Unfortunately I didn't read the label that said 'Not to be consumed by fowl'. It was too late. The effects were permanent. Uncontrollable speed. I knew this would cause too much attention so I needed to go somewhere were no one would find me. Off in the distance I saw a something that looked like purple water. It was strange and nothing I've seen before. Just then a awful looking man came and out of the purple water. It looked like a pig but it also looked dead. I was so confused... He grabbed be and threw me into the portal. As everything stopped swirling I was surrounded by more of these weird creatures. They explained that they too fled the muric'ns and had found a new home. I was very glad to hear this. My new home was very dark and a little scary. There was lava everywhere. Flying creatures and even some black and white skeletons. This was no place for a turkey. I decided to go back to my home, I was leaving this place. As I ran back to the purple water door the ground beneath me gave way and I began to fall... I ended up landing in the lava. Surely I was cooked, I screamed. But no. Something... was different. I felt different. As I made my way out of the lava I noticed that the fire would not go out. It seems RedBull and fire are not a good mixture. I tried to run as fast as I could but it would not go out. I was now ridiculously fast and on fire. What have I done... I finally made it back to the purple water and ran through it. Finally home, I thought. I saw two shadowy figures off in the distance. As I got closer one of them, wearing a black and red hat, was carrying a bag. And beside him a red dragon. Where have I gone to now, I thought. The dragon lady told me about a wonderful place where i could run free and be happy. But I had to get in the bag to get there. I was reluctant but I figured a life of happiness and freedom surely was worth it. When we arrived something did not feel right and I quickly realized I was not going to be free after all. Instead the crazy dragon lady and the man with the hat threw me into a duplication chamber. I watched in horror as multiple copies of myself began to be sent off all over the lands. Sadly I forgot to turn off TGS (Turkey Guidance System) and everywhere we went it would broadcast our locations. People would trap us in dirt blocks and begin to throw knifes at us. I can still see Billy's face as a sword dropped from his lifeless body. Lucky a few of us have gathered in the depths of the land and found safety in pools of lava. I write this as a plea to you all. We are not your enemies. We fowl just want to be friends. Sure I poop out diamonds and the occasional blade, but I'm not an evil person. Maybe we can all just live together, as friends. Sincerely, Gobble T. Gobble
Love the story! But, I want your chops so please let me kill you with my sharp, looting 3 sword about 8 more times. I promise, it will be slow and painful! Try not to move much (Jk jk I'm not that demonic)
Hi Gobble. Why does it seem that you are an alt? If you are not or even if you are, welcome to the Empire, and that is the best introduction I've seen in quite awhile. Enjoy your stay.
Actually I'd prefer not to be spammed by your TGS. How about you offer up 2 of your brethren so I may keep them as pets? =P I'll stop killing you guys on sight then
Welcome to the empire! So, where do you keep that Turkey Slicer? Do you digest it if the player doesn't have enough luck? Or is it stuck in your chicken wing?
This is a classic example of why I love this place so much! Say Aya, where did you find all those other turkeys, errr, siblings, errr, brethren? But I guess the story is clear. In the end Aikar and Krysyy are to blame here. It's that darn staff again <runs off before lightning can strike> Say gobble.. In case you and your family up there want to hide then I got the perfect place! It's a replica of Sorens build (see Minecraft Storymode). Yes, some people call it a grinder but trust me: you'd be perfectly safe! (your family otoh....) <insert innocent sounding whistling here>
