Jokes!

Post your jokes here! Just do it, but try not to be inappropriate. I'll start you guys off:
"There are three kinds of people in this world, those who can count, and those who can't."

This is more of a joke-riddle that my brother thought of:
If you drop a small pumpkin in a bottle of milk, how much battery acid does the nearest calculator lose?

Huh?

EDIT: NOW I get it.

I don't get it either, that's why it's a joke.

Five.

I think it's supposed to be that the milk splashes on the calculator.

I think that will answer it for me.⇧

I have a joke though, my friend told me it: What's the difference, between a chicken?

But how would that make it lose the battery acid? Duh!

What?

(I think I'm going to be spamming this thread)

Rooster? Or, just eggs. EGGS!

Here's one: If light travels faster than sound, is that why people seem smart until you hear them talk?
Ask me if you don't get it.

Here's one:
A man walks onto a crowded bus and says, "Man, it's sure like a zoo in here!" Then, a second man replies, "Yes, but this 'zoo' was missing a donkey till you got on."

A man walks into a bar. What does he ask for?

Okay, so a blind man walks into a bar, and he never saw it coming.

Knock Knock

Who's There

Doctor

-_-

Knock Knock.
Who's There?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting Cow W-MOO!

Also,

Knock Knock.
Who's There?
Boo.
Boo Who?
Stop Crying.

How many noobs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Nobody knows because nobody can tell what they're saying.

Forgot to post the answer.