haha yea i have broken bones but in my fingers and collar bones<- missing a piece of it haha but that was due to many years of Football for 10 years in full pads
What did the tree say? Nothing. Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked. Hover/Highlight over to see answers/punchline.(sorry I'm to lazy to get the gray PERFECT right now.
So I was looking through a pile of books at a garage sale when I came across an old Boy Scout Handbook. The following is an excerpt from that book: Sixteen Steps To Build A Campfire 1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers. 2. Bandage left thumb. 3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments. 4. Bandage left foot. 5. Make structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand), 6. Light Match. 7. Light Match. 8. Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match. 9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire. 10. Apply burn ointment to nose. 11. When fire is burning, collect more wood. 12. Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene". 13. Treat face and arms for second-degree burns. 14. Relabel can to read "gasoline". 15. When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood. 16. When thunderstorm has passed, repeat steps. Remember this the next time you're in the wild... during a thunderstorm. It could save your life... or just end it very quickly. -Torian
How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? 2. One to change it, and one to hold the ladder so he doesn't fall.
So because they are black you assumed they are criminals? Even though it mentioned nothing about them doing anything illegal? And because they need a ladder to reach a light bulb they must be short? You're a little racist sir.
What's red and smells like blue paint? RED PAINT. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? WHERE'S MY TRACTOR!
Q: What's the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer? A: The taste. Q: What do politicians use for birth control? A: Their personalities. Q: Did you hear about the famous Football player that went to prison? A: He went in as a tight end and came out a wide receiver. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes.
#1 Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread. This one is idk... #2 How do you get a clown off a swing Throw an axe at it.
