Funny Jokes Thread

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by gwormn, Jul 14, 2012.

  1. Whats up gamers? Gwormn here making a new thread about your funniest jokes. They can be funny or lame. Mostly funny but it doesn't matter. So if you have a joke you've been dieing to share, put it on this thread for the Empire to see!

    1. Cant be innapropriate
    2. No racist jokes
    3. Number the jokes accordingly
    4. Make the wording colorful.

    #1. A man walked into a bar. Then he said ow.

    #2. What do you get at a Flea Market? Buy one get one "flea".
  2. I was going to tell a chemistry joke, but the good ones argon.
  3. Ummm sorry, but I dont get #1
  4. It wasnt a real bar. It was a metal bar
  5. Oh I get it now
  6. #1.Spit Ball
    Teacher: Whoever answers the next question correct gets to go home one hour early.
    Student: Accidentally shots spit ball at teacher.
    Teacher: Who shot that spitball?
    Student: I did by mistake, I am going home now.:D
    #2.A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while her mother was in the doctors office.
    He said, "Why is your stomach so big?", She said, "Because I am having a baby." With big eyes, he asked, "Is it in your stomach?", "It sure is." said the lady. The little boy, with a puzzled look on his face, asked,"Is it a good baby?".She said, "Why yes, it is a very good baby." Then the boy replied, "Then why did you eat it?!?!"
    #3.Scientist:What do you get when you cross a elephant and a rhino?
    Kid: I dunno?
    Scientist: ellifino.......ell-if-i-no.......:D
    creepincreepers7 likes this.
  7. knock-knock :whose thare? knock-knock :sigh who is thare? KNOCK-KNOCK :OMG WHO IS THARE!?!?!?
    *whispers* knock-knock :arrrgggh!!!!!
  8. So there are 2 explorers in Africa looking for new wildlife they are hiking through thick jungle when a tiger emerges from the trees in front of them the one turns around and sees his friend putting on tennis shoes. The one says tennis shoes will not help you outrun a tiger and the other says I don't need to outrun the tiger I only need to outrun you.
  9. Q: What's black and white, and some red?
    A: COLORS.

    Q: What's green, yet invisible?
    *holds out empty hand*
  10. What do you do with dead chemists? Barium.
  11. What is a skeleton's favorite drink.........drum roll please........Milk to make his bones stronger... Ba Dum Tssss
    ShadyShannon likes this.
  12. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no 'body' to bring with him. :(
  13. forever alone.jpg
    How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle his funny bone!
  14. Great one! My mom made me drink a ton of milk when I was a kid because of it's calcium rich help strenghthen your bones she said. I was like, "Ok". By age 12 I was so proud of myself that I was the only kid in my class(on bone health day, or something like that.) that hasn't broken a bone. I got a prize......then when I went home a showed my dad my hand clappermade in china, he said, "son, you have broken a bone before..."I was like, what?!? He said teeth are bones, you have lost teeth by breaking "roots", wich are apart of your bones.....I was like s***, I have to give the prize back, but I didn't.:D
  15. If you have a band, then fake your own death. You'll go platinum in minutes.
    Hash98 likes this.
  16. This ones a tad dark:

    Two chemists walk into a bar, the first chemist says:
    "I'll have H2O".
    The second chemist says
    "I'll have H2O2".
  17. H2O2 an't good stuff
  18. 5 Hilarious Jokes
    1. 2pac + Eminem + 50 Cent = 2 Packs of M&M's for 50 Cents.
    2. I hate 9/11 jokes there just PLANE wrong.
    3. I hate fat jokes. I can't EXERCISE my hate for them.
    4. You this read wrong. You're reading it again. You're smiling. You're liking my post.
    5. What is pink and delicious? Strawberry IceCream.
    7. You didn't realize I skipped 6. You also didn't realize this is 7 jokes.
    8. Why do you log in to EMC but sign out of EMC?
    10. You didn't realze I skipped 9 and that I spelled "realize" wrong.
    11. The dog jumped over the the tree. There's two "the's" by the way.