This is a parody of the Junkrat and Roadhog rap by JT Music so... prepare yourself.. [Intro] Dispatch, we are in hot pursuit of two hostile fugitives One has an immensly obese nose and is accompanied by a scrawny, glasses wearing minion Now, we have attempted peaceful negotiations here, but ...Wait, what's this? We're picking up something on another frequency Let me patch it through [Verse 1] [Gaming] They call me Comander, I'm a violent rodent I never use swords, but I like explosives! I'll stop the party with my remote - click! It's good news when I say "I've blown it!" I'm always laughin' cuz I'm always jokin' Add me to your friends list because I'm smokin' - hot Probably cuz I'm a pyro My hair's on fire, if you need a light, though I think aiming is overrated Dynamite and bombs are all I play with It's a perfect day for mayhem Got a couple traps and it's time I lay them I've always got a leg up, mate Send you sky high where the weather's great That's a rap, now that you all know me Show some love for my psycho roadie [Verse 2] [OP]: Shut up, Rat, I'm sick of your voice [Gaming]: I'm paying you well, you've got no choice I'm a demo expert, sorry if I'm a little wired [OP]: I wouldn't be here if I wasn't hired I live in the fast lane, I'm not a snore I'm the mob that the players never killed before With a nose that you'll never see me take off Like Leatherface, straight outta Texas Chainsaw Heavyweight champ, a wasteland hulk [Gaming]: I won't nose shame you, no need to sulk [OP]: Its not a fat nose, I'm a bulk, you know Shut up Mad Max, you're in my Thunderdome I'll hop on my Harley, spread some anarchy [Gaming]: Fry these buggers like shrimp on the barbie [OP]: You mess with me, and I'll ruin you worse Than Comander just did to this verse [Comander]: Oh don't take it so personally, OP [OP]: You just have to ruin everything [Comander]: Well, I'll agree on that one! Ha ha ha ha! [Verse 3] [OP]: Counting down [Gaming]: To detonation [OP] Hold your ground [Gaming]: Eradication [OP]: Look around [Gaming]: It's devastation [Both]: Lay to waste all of creation [Gaming]: Light the fuse [OP]: Lock and load [Gaming]: Hit the juice [OP]: We're on the road [Gaming]: The Comander and the Mob, one heck of a pair [OP]: We're still not friends [Gaming]: But we are getting there [OP]: Really? Cuz this is hardly a start You're just an obnoxious body to guard [Gaming]: But the money we're makin', the riches we're takin' The bonds that we've made [OP]: And the friendship we're fakin' You're too loud, and it's peevin' me off You smell like Zombies and it's makin' me cough [Gaming]: Fire in the hole! I just saved you there! [OP]: Oh. Dang. Thanks, I guess Still without me, you would never win [Gaming]: And who's gonna help you? One of your Emeralds? [OP]: Ha ha ha, okay, Rat, I'll give you that one [Gaming]: Look, I squeezed a laugh outta the mob one! [OP]: Here, take a cake, looks like you need it [Gaming]: Aw, thanks roadie, I'm surprised you didn't eat it I'm only jokin', you're used to takin' flak [OP]: Hold your breath if you're taking cover by my potions [Gaming]: Oh god, not the toxic fumes That's where a gas mask really comes in use [OP]: It's for protection, and preventing infection The stank you smell is the potions in question [Gaming]: I could light a match by your potions We'd all be on fire this entire match! [OP]: And while you pester us, the rest of us are workin' You're not a Comander, you're a worthless vermin [Gaming]: Though defenseless I'm blowing holes Who you gonna call for zone control? [OP]: Fine, but if you're gonna help, be quiet [Gaming]: What's on your meal plan? I wanna try it [OP]: Double decker chicken, and bacon I'll throw you out if you say Villager Meat! [Gaming]: I guess that one hits close to home [OP]: A little too close, you don't even know... [Verse 4] [OP]: I remember a field, where the Villagers would graze Till the Players came in and all our nation was razed Just thinking of Villager Meat is heartache A piece of me died on that dark day Now I'm back on the road With no family or friends I ride my boat alone I guess this is how it ends [Gaming]: But wherever you go, I will follow I'll be by your side if you want, so [OP]: When the rubble subsides [Gaming]: And the debris sweeps away [OP]: I'll look into your eyes [Gaming]: And I know what you'll say [OP]: We're a two man army [Gaming]: Stirring up anarchy [OP]: All our foes will be fried up [Gaming]: Just like shrimp on the barbie [OP]: Hop on my Harley, I want you in my sidecar [Gaming]: They've taken my skills, but it was you who took my heart [OP]: In a totally friendship way [Gaming]: Well yes, obviously [OP]: Let's continue our rampage [Outro] [OP]: Hey, Comander [Gaming]: What is it, you ol' bugger? [OP]: If you tell anyone about that [Gaming]: That what? Our singin' an' all? [OP]: I will kill you [Gaming]: Hehehehehe, yea yea, whatever you say mate Lips are sealed, ahahahahahaha! [OP]: *sighs*
Some notes for those who are confused: VILLAGER serves as a bodyguard to me when in the wilderness, he does PVP while I explode stuff with TNT, together we make a duo. The Harley is a boat that we use to travel on the ocean and Villager Meat is OPs custom promo