[Story] The Scary Mob.. (Book 1)

Discussion in 'Writers' Corner' started by wonderwoman_16, Oct 6, 2015.

  1. Hi guys! Today, I decided to tell a halloween tale! Enjoy the story :).

    The Scary Mob
    By: HelloKittyRo
    Illustration: Well, there's no pictures lol.

    Chapter 1 - The Return:
    "Look out!" yelled a voice as they were running down the cave. There was a dark, and scary creature following them. "Wait up, you're to far ahead!" shouted the other friend running away from the creature, trying to catch up with his friend. As they slashed through the cave, trying to find there way out, they had just almost killed themselves. Lava was surrounding them. They couldn't escape any longer.. they were done.

    "AHHHHH!" yelled Rose. "What is it, Rose? It's 6:43 AM!" said Ryan. "I had a horrible nightmare!" complained Rose. "What was it about?" brother Ryan said. "Well, it was about the both of us. We were trapped in a room with this weird looking mob." responded Rose. "Oh, lol. You've got to be kidding me. I'm pretty sure it's one of your nightmare game stories. Remember that game I told you to stop playing? You really should have listened." "Fine, I'll stop playing the game. Now, I'm fully up, let's eat."

    Chapter 2 - Rose and Ryan:
    Hello! I'm Rose! I play this creepy called "The Return of the Dead". It gives me nightmares, so like my brother said, I won't be playing it anymore. Besides, Ryan and I were the players in the nightmare. It was so creepy! (You know what I'm talking about, you read it!) Anyways, I'm 10, and my brother Ryan is 14. We love scary games! But that one was just creepy enough to scare me in my sleep which is weird, actually. I never get nightmares from scary games because, well, to be honest, I play them all the time! Anyways, I'm never playing that one again..

    "Hey, Rose, check this out! It's a new FNAF (Five Nights At Freddyes)!" Awesome, Ryan! It's even the 4rth! "Let's play" responded Ryan.

    After 3 hours of fun, they decided to go outside and play..

    Part 2:

    "Ryan, what is that thing!!!?" "I don't know, but it's coming after us, let's make a run for it!" "Sure, Ryan...."
    ChickenDice and ElmofiedBoby like this.
  2. good story so far :)
    Bayymaxx likes this.
  3. It's a pretty good story, but there's a lot of grammar issues
  4. I'm liking it so far, keep up the good work! :D
  5. Some corrections

    Love it!!! 10/10!
    Bayymaxx likes this.