Its been over 220 days since my first sign in and i never made one of these so i decided to make one just because. Ask me anything you want and feel free to chat about whatever.
1.- Can you cry under water? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2.- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3.- Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4.- Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5.- Why does a round pizza come in a square box? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6.- What disease did cured ham actually have? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7.- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8.- Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 9.- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10.- Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11.- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 13.- Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 14.- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 15.- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 17.- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 18.- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 19.- If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 20.- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 21.- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 22.- Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 23.- Why did you just try singing the two songs above? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 24.- Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 25.- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 27.- Why are the numbers messed up?
If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done? How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Why is the time when the traffic is slowest called rush-hour? What's the speed of dark? If physics can predict lottery numbers, why are they still working? If you run backwards will you gain weight? If Barbie is so popular, why do you need to buy her friends? What happens when you get scared half-to-death twice? Can a blind person feel blue? How can a house burn up when it burns down? Are you telling the truth when you lie in bed? If your vacuum cleaner really sucks, is it a bad thing? How do you know when a Smurf suffocates? Despite the cost of living, why does it remain so popular? If a word in a dictionary is misspelled, how would you know? In Chinese why are the words for crisis and opportunity the same? Why does X stand for a kiss? Why does O stand for a hug? Why is the alphabet in that order? How does skating on thin ice get you into hot water? Why are they called stands when there made for sitting? Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected? When cheese gets its picture taken what does it say? Why are they called non-stick pans? Is there a law saying your not allowed to put sticks in them? Why are a wise-man and a wise-guy opposites? If work is so terrific how come they have to pay you to do it? Should crematoriums give discounts for those who died in fires? Is it possible to have a civil-war? If the #2 pencil the most popular, why is it still #2? Do tea makers have coffee breaks? Can fat people go skinny-dipping? Why do they announce power shortages on TV? Do you need a silencer when you shoot a mime? Why do you press harder on the remote-control when you know the battery is dead? How can batteries die? If its zero degrees tonight, and tomorrow its meant to be twice as cold, how cold will it be? Why are buildings called buildings when there finished? Shouldn't they be called builts? Why is abbreviated such a long word? Why is it that when you tell a man there are 400 billion stars he will believe you, but when you tell him there's wet paint he has to touch it? Who's cruel idea was it to put a 'S' in 'lisp'? Do you find it unnerving that what doctors do is called 'practice'? Would a fly without wings be called a walk? If a turtle doesn't have a shell is it homeless or naked? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
1.- Can you cry under water? - i dont know never tried -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2.- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? pretty damn important -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3.- Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to? idk probably the government -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4.- Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? hopefully not that woud suck -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5.- Why does a round pizza come in a square box? cause there trying to make shapeception but failed -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6.- What disease did cured ham actually have? Aids -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7.- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? - because americans are stupid sometimes -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8.- Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? - again because americans are stupid -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 9.- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? - no its called a deafing -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10.- Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? - cause the english language makes no sense -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11.- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? - because people are stupid enough to do that -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 13.- Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? -because it makes it sound better to get dem panties -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 14.- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? - because every tool needs its disfunction -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 15.- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? -because we need one more dang thing to sing about -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 17.- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? -cause he went to how to make a radio out of a coconut school -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 18.- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! -because (most people don't know this) but pluto has a birth defect -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 19.- If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner? just... idk -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 20.- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? -because that is sick and cruel -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 21.- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? -yes cause we take what morons do and make morals the opposite of what they do -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 22.- Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?-yes everyone knows that -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 23.- Why did you just try singing the two songs above? -i didn't because i already knew the answer -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 24.- Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? -cause the scientists got confused -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 25.- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? -fast air does not make a dog as mad as slow air its like if i keep slowly poking you vs if i just put my hand on your shoulder -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 27.- Why are the numbers messed up? -because you were to lazy to count
