A Book (Please click here!!!)

Okay, the dates aren't accurate.

Entrails, liver, still-beating hearts, etc. are part of my vocab. Intestines are only one body part. And I mean in general.

Is that so?? Well, I'll try to improve. P.S: 2nd chapter's out! Hopefully, it met your requirements.

Iump!!!!

This one was less gory, so that was a point for you lol

You are using caps too much IMO. If you were saying it on the server you'd get kick and/or tempban

I'm just going to list my problems with this. Again, it's all constructive criticism.

• Alpha centauri is a star not a galaxy.
• Saying "She was fat and obese" is redundant, just use one word
• Omega is a very stereotypical last name of someone in a sci-fi story, please don't do that lol
• Too many caps, just say that Dr. Betsy Green is yelling
• The last sentence confused me a bunch.
• What happened when the bomb dropped? was this intentional or just a plot-hole?

Intentional. And Alpha Centuri is a star? Oops. Thanks for the info. And how is Omega being the last name racist???

I like them a lot keep writing!

lol he didnt say racist Stereotypical just means its used a lot

"Man, this job sucks like eating turd on a spoon."


??

Couldn't think of anything else. LoL

BUMP