Annoying Catchphrase corruption!!

Turn an annoying meme/catchphrase into something funny.
here's mine.

"I used to take arrows to the knee. Then I took a mace to the face.

I don't mean to be unoriginal but,

"I used to be an arrow like you, but then I took a knee to my head."

*ba dum tss*

so I herd u liek muddy chips?

This one i made up myself:
"I used to be a zombie hunter like you. Then i took a bite to the knee..."

"Houston, we have a prob......well, it isn't exactly a problem, it's kinda like an inconvenience.....well, ACTUALLY, it is sorta a problem. We forgot the chips. You think you could send a few bags up by tomorrow? I don't want to miss the game."

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then.....
I got this job as a city guard, and it's a lot safer and I get a higher pay and I'm close to my family now and I have life insurance and I don't have to split loot or buy a horse

I used to care about arrow to the knee corruptions... then I ate a potato.

I don't always make original jokes, but when I do, they aren't really that good.

Buzz Lightyear: "To infinity! And beyond!"
Jayne Cobb: "Hell, I've been to infinity. Just looked like... more infinity."