January 5, 2015, It might have seem normal for the first few hours, little did we know, that the biggest war in building game history was about to happen. At 3:00AM, the Roazis (Roblox) invaded Blockland. Blockland wasn't much back then, just a small game with few users, but I guess Roblox wanted it. We all knew it was just a matter of time till Minecraft got pulled into this. When the Roazis sent their most feared squad into the capital of Blockland, with a order to kill anyone, the president of Minecraft declared war, Plunging us into the biggest war, we were ever in. This isn't the first time to Roazis invaded another nation. In 1939, they invaded a game called Buildism. It was just a new site, but was taken in a few days. The Roazis go back further then this. Their master, Telamon, has always been trying to get rid of other games and anyone who doesn't pay him to play. First it was just not giving them as much stuff, then it turned into hatred, now, war. Many hate him, but many worship him. He invades other nations when he fears they might become larger then his Roblox. I am Mrlegitislegit, I was a bow man in The Block Wars. Out of all the nations, Minecraft was the least advanced. Roblox had guns, cheap swords, stuff like that, Blockland had better guns, but Blockland wasn't a threat at all since they got captured. Though we were the least advanced in weapons, we were the most advanced in team work. The Roazis would start yelling at each other if one person didn't like an idea, Blockland's "team work" (Running right at them) is what got them captured. Us on the other hand, would do what we had to do, to win the war. We would fight as one main thing, looking out for others, healing, and cover each other. On my first day, I was up in a tower, near the diamond squad. (The explosion men) The diamond squad made TNT and TNT cannons, our artillery. I was to help guard them while they build along with some other bow men, and some sword men. Out to the west, I could see some Roazis coming towards us. I told the others to spread the word. We all got ready and then, BOOM! It turns out the Diamond knew they might come, so they put down some land mines. When they finished building, we knew we had something great. We were the first Nation to build a artillery cannon, the TNT cannon. It could shoot out 10 blocks of TNT. It was made so it would just explode by the time it hit the ground. This was great for for everyone, but mostly for us bowmen, since we were the main covering fire. A few weeks later, I was in a board room, with the rest of my squad. We were told to get into a spot near their outpost called Outpost RT. We were to get close enough and then try to shoot some of their power generators. It was risky but we knew that if we do this, the sword squads could get in and take it over. Not only is the outpost on a great place to look out, it also has a giant mine under it. Spy's told us it was full of iron, which is more needed then diamond, since it can be used for my stuff. So at at 11:00 PM, we went out to the base and got in our spots. I was to take the first shot, followed by others. All our bows had the flame enchantment, so when we hit the generator, it would spread. We were not to kill enemy solders unless we had to. My shot missed but went into an air intake vent. After that, my whole side went into flames. I guess they didn't know that wood is not the best thing to build a fort out of. Then the other shots went off. I could see the arrows ablaze and soon, the whole building was up in smoke. We knew we had done out job, so we got out of their as fast as we could, we didn't want to be spotted. The war was really getting started, no where else other then the home front. Bread, meat, swords, bows were all in high supply. We also were starting on sea warfare. I was put on a small gun ship. My job was to fire the automatic bow gun. The automatic bow gun was a new type of bow. Their was the infantry version and the boat one. Shoot 50 arrows a minute. It was on the new ship, that we saw a Roazis test site. At 12:00AM, the captain told the the gunner of the mini TNT cannon, to fire at a small building. As soon has it hit, me and the rest of the bow guns were told to fire. Then, we got out of their. More to come and tell me what you think!
The fact that you are mixing fictional universes with no real lore into some kind of war that makes even less sense.That is why I give your story all my "wat"(what?).I didn't say it was bad or that it making no sense is a bad thing. People will find I make very little sense myself.
Well, don't take this as an insult, but I believe that you could do better in writing these stories. I feel like you just wrote a summary about a story -- (don't get me wrong, it has the potential to be cool.) For example, when you said Blockland had better guns but wasn't a threat at all, one would be curious as to why Blockland wasn't a threat despite having better weaponry. Also, I would suggest going into further details about Blockland's teamwork, or remove that sentence entirely. One would want to know about Blockland's teamwork and why it got them captured. I do like the Diamond Squadron deal, and I would again suggest going into further detail about them; i.e back story, history, who belongs to the squad, etc. You seem to have a decent outline of key points in this story, but good stories are rich in detail; if you could add more details about the war and reasons for fighting it I believe it would make for a good sci-fi story
I never said I didn't like it.My posts were obviously jokes and the fact that I used to word fiction in this thread before you even did.If you want a serious response here it is.You have a good start but you imply to much that everyone knows the subject matter you are addressing.
Guys, guys... The dude wants to write, so let him write. Legit, don't let the opinions of others stop you from writing. If you want to do it, then screw the haters and write on! SWM, if you cannot say anything constructive, then don't say anything at all. Flame wars are not needed on EMC. This is a message from a brony fanfic writer. I dare you to write weirder stuff than I have.
THE ROAZIS SHOULDA WON!!! THEY HAS NUKES AND BOMBS AND CANNONS AND STUFF WE HAVE..... a few pickaxes and a few dwarves
I know. I might make a whole thing about The Block wars. One idea I have might get me in some crap from a few people but all I can say, if it were all about writing about stuff on the front , I would run out of stuff to write on the second story.
Mrlegit: Your story has potential, but is severely lacking in details. If people tell you this, whether directly or in a roundabout way, don't get butthurt. You posted here requesting feedback, if you don't want it, you shouldn't have posted. Add details. Add backstory. We'll go from there.
I feel that your story could use some work on its flow. There are many parts, especially in the largest paragraph, that just seem to go in circles. You should also double check your spelling and grammar (example: Spy's have told us its full of iron, which is more needed then diamond, since it can be used for my stuff).
