My poem for school about corrupt leaders starting war

So I did this all in 30 minutes for a school project, and this took heavy inspiration from MegaDeth's Holy Wars... Punishment Due, and Black Sabbath's Warpigs. You will see both song's lyrical references, but it is not fully copying haha

The men behind this mess… The Punishment Due
Brother will kill brother
Spilling blood across the land
Nature will cry out for the bombs it cannot stand
Land will turn to waste, bodies will turn to dust
Killing to them is just another form of lust
Big payments paid, to make sure they win
But they do not know their actions are a sin
Sending poor boys out to fight, to live or to die
In the end they’ll just be killed by the men who
Took them to hire, but their employers will soon
Burn in the fire.

As the poor go out to fight,
The politicians stay at home and hide
They make war just for fun, making
Sure the dirty deed is done
To them we are like pawns in chest,
Sent out to fight, to kill, and to die, with a bullet hole in our vest
To them, money is all they need, money
Which strengthens their greed
They seem to be your neighboring buddies,
Helping you live your life, they make laws
For you, and keep you safe
But in times of war, they are sure to forget
What they signed up for. They do not care for
Your life, but theirs, all they want is to build
Their own golden stairs.

All this death is just a waste, just stop
And think about your fate
All the blood and organs spilled
Out across the land, is it really worth it?

On that last day, they sit before the podium
They look at all the destruction that had become,
Now that will reflect on to them, but how come?
They sent out those boys out to kill, just for money, just
For greed, at this point, they’ve planted their seed.
God’s hand has struck the hour, no more war pigs
Out for power.
Satan laughing spreads his wings.

agreed

I agree, Very beautiful poem! Great work!

Any suggestions? Bout to hand this in

perhaps less death?

It is suppose to represent the brutal acts that corrupt politicans commit, but as I am presenting it to all of the boys in my grade, I guess I suppose, although I still want to push my full message across. thanks though,

Just presented it today, I was pretty nervous but it went well, I will give you my total marks afterwards