The Ridiculous Continuous Story.

Discussion in 'Writers' Corner' started by eldoro1000, Jun 23, 2014.

  1. Continue the story as you wish. In fact, I appreciate as little seriousness as possible.
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    Farticus: Lord of Omnipotent Potatoes
    Farticus was walking down a cold, dank road. So cold and dank was this road that he began to fear for his life. “What if this road turns into a Kraken?” he queried the Universe with the full extent of his lungs. A passing Emu (who was obviously quite irate) glared at Farticus. Farticus found this amusing. “Who are you to criticise my actions, filthy vermin?” he half-asked-half-chuckled. To his surprise, a menacing, rasping voice replied. “I am Denise, queen of all Emu-Kind and you’d better watch your mouth if you wish to survive the night.” This frightened Farticus, he’d never expected a talking Emu to get cross with him. In fact, in his day planner, he had specifically allotted this time to being the “Time At Which An Emu Will Not Be Cross With Me”. This infuriated Farticus. Even the Queen Of Emu-Kind had no right to interrupt his busy schedule. So, with this in mind, he wrote Denise an angry letter.

    Denise, patient as she was, stood there as Farticus scribbled away on a smooth piece of bark with a needle. Finally, he finished it and attempted to hand it to her so that she could read it. Denise, lacking hands, took offense to this. “That was not very considerate of you” she scolded. “If you had any kind of biological information, you would know that an Emu can only read by eating literature, due to its inability to hold books or sheets in front of them.” Annoyed with this complication, Farticus fed her the angry note. For a moment her eyes closed. When they opened, a stream of light burst upon the road from Denise's eyes. Soon the words of Farticus’ letter appeared in the light.

    YOUZ IZ VEREE ROOD 4 SHOUTIG AT MEH!

    Farticus was proud of this letter, it had been worth five hours of his time. But the Emu was not so pleased “I am a very busy lady, how DARE you try an-“ Denise was interrupted by a sudden, violent shaking of the road. It gathered together and as Denise and Farticus fell onto the bare soil, it revealed its true form. “I AM THE KRAKEN! WHO DARES TO AWAKEN ME!?” it bellowed belligerently.
    For a while there was only silence. Then…
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  2. the Kraken, being mostly blind took out his reading glasses. "yes my glasses are RayBan's, deal with it.
    Let me read this letter first before i pass my kraken judgement upon you."
    Farticus stay petrified, feeling himself getting smaller and smaller compared to the kraken.
    "This is a love letter to my princess my lord kraken. Denise just was just an obstacle i am not brave enough to surpass. Could you help me convince her to let me pass and get on my way...."
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  3. This was an anticlimactic forum post.
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  4. Denise roared in outrage. "You think me to be a mere obstacle? Well, spero te igni moriturum esse!" She turned sharply away from Farticus, who was clearly befuddled, and stomped off down the road, unaware of the Python closely following her. Farticus saw it, but not before the Kraken bellowed, which apparently was a command. The snake reared and struck Denise on her right leg, and she collapsed.

    "Denise! No!" Farticus cried. The Kraken snorted with derision. "You should not have allowed that emu to eat your letter so easily. Well, no matter. You will see its importance soon. Anyway, do you have any idea what the venom of my Python contains?" "N-no," Farticus stuttered, afraid for Denise's life. "It's just a bit of sulfuric acid," said the Kraken, sauntering around Farticus. "Soon, the acid will enter her bloodstream, and then her stomach will explode. I've never seen an emu explode before; it'll be hilarious!" the Kraken threw back its head and laughed like a maniac. An uncanny wail emanated from Farticus' mouth, and he charged the Kraken with nothing but his two small fists and a head full of anger.
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  5. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! This is the worst movie I've seen. I mean, c'mon, Farticus and the Mighty Kraken Road?! Let's watch something else," Sam complained.
    "Hang on, it's just getting good. Farticus is about to be tickled by the Kraken and then a flying sea horse-icorn shall save him," Louis grinned.
    "Whatever. I'm going to the mall," Sam said.
    "Fine. Seeya later."
    Sam began his walk to the mall when he saw an angry trash can containing emu-like eyes inside glaring at him…
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  6. Sam sprinted past the trash can and turned onto Melon St., where garbage dumpsters filled to the brim with stuffed toy emus lined the edges of the road. They frightened Sam, but it was certainly better than having to cross Drabole Avenue. Most people drove under the posted speed limit, which was 40 mph, but there were the occasional gangsters who roared down the road at 90 mph and didn't have a care in the world about whom they disturbed. To make matters worse, the local police department didn't seem to notice the gangsters, so at least four people were rushed to the hospital every two days due to the reckless behavior.

    Sam reached the end of Melon St., and there it was: the Town Mall. Eight stories high, it was easily the tallest building in the whole town of Athens. The entire front face of the mall was glass, so Sam could see inside. He entered the mall, and just couldn't resist looking upwards at the huge emu suspended from the ceiling. Supposedly, the emu had been the mascot of Athens for almost 50 years, so emus were ubiquitous. Before he could decide what he was going to do, Sam's phone buzzed. It was Louis. "Yeah?" Sam asked.
    "Hey bro, would ya mind grabbing me some eggs?"
    "Uhh sure man, what for?"
    "It's Friday, remember? Scrambled egg night?"
    "Oh yeah, yeah! I almost forgot!"
    "How could you forget scrambled egg night? That's scandalous!"
    "Haha. I'll get some eggs. Later."
    "Later"
    Sam stowed his phone away and began to walk towards one of the many markets in the Town Mall.
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  7. Woah! The thread has been revived!
  8. Sam chuckled. He then chuckled some more. Then some more. Oh dear, he couldn't stop chuckling. The merriment flowed uncontrollably from the depths of his soul. He was just so gosh darn happy. Why, who wouldn't be when it was scrambled eggs night? But happy as he was, Sam couldn't shake the feeling that all this laughter may lead to his doom. As the air left his lungs, it was all Sam could do but to spontaneously catch fire. Soon he was nearing death, he decided to stab his fingers so that he could make a fun toy to enjoy in his last moments of life.
  9. Hot, thick blood poured out of Sam's fingers, and he wailed in pain. Several passersby rushed over to him to attempt to assist him; one noticed that he was on fire and doused him in water.

    (Sorry for such a short writing :confused:)
  10. As the water removed the flames from Sam's skin, Louis continued watching the movie.
    Farticus yelled in anger and disgust as the emu queen disintegrated.
    Oddly enough. No horseicorn came to save farticus. Louis, staring with confusion, couldn't figure out what was going on. He had seen this movie a million times, where was the horseicorn.
    The kraken looked farticus straight in the eyes and yelled "The time has come for my true powers to be revealed! No emu shall ever disturb me again. The land of emus shall be leveled today, for I now have the power to be reborn. Because eyes have watched me fail a million times, I can finally succeed. It is time to rise!"
    A loud booming could be heard in the distance. Earthquakes came like no one had ever experienced. A massive shape began to appear in the horizen. The kraken was alive.
    ***
    Sam was glad to somehow be alive, but his joy was short lived (so punny) he soon found that the entire building was crashing down upon him. The emu hanging on the ceiling came to life and exclaimed, "I am the king of emus. For killing the queen a million times, you will pay!" the emu burst from the building just before it hit the ground. "bring it on!" answered the kraken.
  11. Sam sighed, and drew out his wallet. He handed a dime to each of the creatures, kissed them twice, and went out of the way. The King of the emus was quickly consumed by the kraken and the press ran over to congratulate the beast on his second victory in the tournament of grand smackdowns via eating format.
    Sam, on the other hand, had his hands burnt to a crisp and were now incapable of holding eggs. "Bother," Sam said.
  12. Suddenly, everything stopped moving. A news reporter stood frozen, his mouth agape, gesturing towards the kraken. A woman was frozen mid-fall; she had tripped over her own shoelace seconds before. Several small children were pointing upwards, wide-eyed, at the spot where the adored emu had once remained for so long. Then everything went black.

    Please insert the disc for "Adventures of Athens"

    "Aww CMON, really?!" Justin threw his hands up in exasperation, accidentally releasing the Wii remote he was holding. "This is literally the fourth time this stupid Wii has frozen in the past week alone!"
    "Just reset it, Justin. Works every time," replied Austin, clearly annoyed.
    "That's what you said the first time. And the second time. And the—"
    "I GET IT!" Austin shouted.
    "Not so loud, dude," Justin chided, getting up off the couch and walking over to the Game Center. He found the Wii's power cable and unplugged it from the wall. "You don't want the police on our backs again, do you?"
    "Oh please. When have the police ever gotten us for being too loud?"
    "Uhh, maybe last week? I shouldn't blame you, though; you were drunk," Justin plugged the Wii back in and turned it on.

    Justin strode back to the couch, worried about how far the game had rolled back. The Wii menu loaded, and Justin clicked on "Adventures of Athens", but didn't click start.
    Austin sat up. "Dude, what are you doing?"
    "This music is awesome!"
    "If you call belching kraken noises laid over the Star Trek theme song 'music'," Austin rolled his eyes and snatched the remote out of Justin's hands. "Let's just play the game, okay?"
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  13. Suddenly, they were sucked into the game because the game had a small chance of breaking as it just had. As they entered the game, they saw many enemies, bosses, and concept art as the game loaded up. sry for this short writing:p
  14. Bumping for the new generation of Empire Minecrafters. Enjoy!
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  15. Best Minecraft Servers
    I know your creator of this thread but please respect the red text.
  16. Oh very well. You can remove all of them if you like.
  17. I always assumed the red text was more of a suggestion to prevent people from getting flamed for bumping old threads. He is the creator of the thread and seeks to revive the thread and continue the story. There would be no way to continue the story if he had created a new one and nothing here is time sensitive.
    To remain relevant:
    While zipping past the game resources, they noticed a timer which was counting down from ten minutes and was linked up to a large air conditioner. They both suddenly realized that when the timer ran out, the air conditioner would turn on and it would freeze the game with them in it. Time was running out and they needed to act fast, but how could they escape? their only way was to beat the game in ten minutes. The ultimate speedrun. Justin's vast knowledge of glitches flowed into his brain and he knew what he had to do.