My whole life is a failure. I've wasted most of it gaming instead of being productive. A complete procrastination. I have a disease doctors can't diagnose or treat they are totally clueless. I haven't been able to normally walk for 9 months now.
I am sick of it. I hope I can have the strength to carry on and not take my own life. Most prayers are unanswered, or take along time to get resolved. I don't know anymore what to think. Where is God?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!......
It's been a good run! Here's to hoping for success in the future! Please just don't give up and know there's still time to turn your life around. I wish the best for you in your days to come
I see 10 days ago you said you were doing a little better? :) Or was that a little overly positively put?
I can't look into the future of your life, but I trust that better times will come!!
I hope you can find a balance in this new adaptation of your life. There is always a way to stride to be the best regardless of your physical condition. I hope you can see it this way and not give up. I wish you the best adventure to come. I am glad that we here at EMC were apart of it and hope it can continue further beyond into the future.
I didn't really ever get to know you Todd, but you seem like a really great guy. Take care and don't forget that God is with you even if you feel the way you do now. You are in my thoughts and prayers :)
A God can help you spiritually and emotionally, but the real stuff is entirely upto you my friend. You have the strength inside you to keep going, to find purpose, to make this world a better place.
Knowing that people with a lot less can do so much should be an inspiration that this isn't the end of an era in your life, but the dawning of a new one. I wish you the best in all your ventures and to find the peace and happiness you deserve. Stay in touch with your EMC family if you can =)
I don't think we have ever talked or been in game together but if you need someone to talk to pm me please. We all have our own demons and some are worse than others but if you have people willing to listen when you need it you will be ok.
Todd! You will not give up. You will not falter. You are going to climb this mountain God has put in your way, and with you will be the Lord. Do not question your faith - for nothing good comes of it. I can relate to procrastination - well I suppose we all can to some extent. And the test of faith is very real too, but don't give up - Not now - Not ever!
My mother has been sick with some unknown illness for years upon years. I can't tell you how many times I thought "why do bad things happen to good people" . . . I don't know why. But what I am sure of, is that our whole lives are filled with obstacles - a test if you will. And buddy, failure is not an option. Bad things are everywhere, but there is also good, for those who strive for it.
For You Todd - Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12:21
You will find greatness and go to meet goals you didn't think of, but only if you trust in thee. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
Thank you everyone for your words. I just completed a 7 day water fast so I was feeling very emotional, and let a lot come out. The truth is. I've been online gaming 16 years about? 5 years was on Emc...and every community was awful compared to here.
Not being able to be apart of EMC is depressing itself because I never in my life met such a great supportive, loving, friendly community. Seriously the Internet can be awful, but here it is relaxing and peaceful. I am competitive person which is why I built 2000 on Smp1 to try to be the best I can be. Only my nature.
Instead of players being jealous about my gains on EMC, they were supportive surprisingly, and I thought that was amazing to be around such online players. Come to find out after conversations with many, they are great people. I never came across this online on any games I play. Everyone was jealous and hated me for my gains. What a great place you have here.
I like to thank everyone especially Nick for the comments above. It means a lot to me!!! Yes I am feeling a little better compared to 10 months ago when I left that cursed house I lived in for 5 years. But not being able to walk or use both of my hands is very depressing...VERY. Still I work with what doctors I can find, and do my own natural cleansing methods and pray a lot.
Yes, a lot can change in the future. Maybe I will find a doctor who might do a surgery to heal my wrists? Maybe a surgery for my foot? Maybe my body will start producing the right chemicals and be normal again. I have to have faith and wait til then. My above message was about honesty. Honestly I do not know if I'll come back ever. I don't want to get anyone's hope up.
Can't imagine what you're going through, but I'm glad that the EMC community has been very supportive. I really miss ya man and I'm glad you returned to give us a update on your health. You inspired many and I hope you can inspire more in the future. Keep us updated, and may god bless you. <3
I just have to say this: You will be missed, but surely not forgotten. You've surely left a mark on SMP1, if not the Empire as a whole. The mall at 2000 has become a landmark for at least me, if not the entire SMP1 Family. I hope you do find a doctor that can help you in every way you need them to, if not today, hopefully tomorrow.
Thanks willies. Doctors can only do so much, it's the body that can be the main factor in healing from illness, and disease. I tried to make 2000 to be something epic when you visit, and I think I've achieved just that. A memorable sight.
In all honesty, I am about 30 maybe 40% feeling better. I can't eat certain foods because it makes inflammation and a lot more pain. I'm doing many different detox methods. It took about 2 years for me to get sick from the exposure. I'd been living there since July 2011. I joined EMC May 2012. I'd been sick most of my time here at EMC. Life goes on another day!
My fiance said the same thing to me about how many friends I have here, and how important to keep in touch. I'd have to agree with her. Thanks for being here if I need anyone Tbird 😀
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