The First Annual Family Tomato Celebrity Charity Fun Run

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by BobTheTomato9798, Feb 6, 2013.

  1. At the First Annual Family Tomato Celebrity Charity Fun Run, after the *vaudevillian act The Family Tomatoes (no relation) were ready to run: Big Tomato was stretching, Average Joemato did sit-ups, while Li'l Tomato was putting on sweats.

    They sprinted off swiftly at the starter gun. Li'l Tomato got a nasty leg cramp and slowed down, and The Family Tomatoes soon got outpaced by the other teams.

    This irritated Big Tomato. "Hey, slowpoke," yelled Big Tomato. "Hurry up!"

    Li'l Tomato said, "Make me."

    "You leave Li'l alone!" yelled Average Joemato.

    Big Tomato wasn't listening. Unbeknownst to Average Joemato, Big Tomato was smooshing Li'l Tomato.

    "I'll make you catch up!" said Big Tomato.

    After medics and police arrived, charity officials canceled the event.

    ====================================================================
    *Definition of vaudevillian: a performer who works in **vaudeville.
    **Definition of vaudeville: A stage play on a trivial theme with interspersed songs.
    ====================================================================

    The Second Annual Family Tomato Celebrity Charity Fun Run began with a moment of silence for the anniversary of the slaying of Li'l Tomato, 46. Many celebrity tomatoes keep talking, however.

    "The fun run has been tarnished," celebrity tomato Mr. Tomato whispered bitterly. "Now when people hear 'Family Tomato Celebrity Charity Fun Run,' they think of 'Family Tomatoes murderer.'"

    "I heard not only is Big Tomato still at large," gossiped celebrity tomato Tom.A.To, "but he's here in the crowd now, and since we all look alike, no one can tell."

    "Is that true, Tom.A.To?" Big Juicy asked Mr. Tomato.

    "Tom.A.To is over there, rotting ungracefully," Mr. Tomato replied.

    "Idiot," responded Tom.A.To.

    "Quiet down, everyone. Will you all show some respect?" spoke up Toby Tomato. "Average Joemato is within earshot and is still mourning Li'l's death. It's not Average's fault Big 'Dennis the Menaced' Li'l Tomato."

    There was no response.

    "You know, Dennis the Menace. Created by Hank Ketcham. Big turned Li'l into 'Ketcham.'"

    "That's a horrible joke. Boo!" said Average Joemato and grabbed Tom.A.To and threw it at Toby.

    Paramedics declared Tom.A.To and Toby Tomato dead on scene. Charity officials had no choice but to cancel the event.
    =======================================================================================

    At the first annual Keep the Peace Memorial Celebrity Tomato Fun Run (formerly the Third Annual Family Tomato Celebrity Charity Fun Run), participants quietly stretched before the race, but no one spoke except for a noticeably drunk Big Juicy.

    Big Juicy said, "Do you know what gets me?"

    "Not this again," said Mr. Tomato.

    "No, this is important. This is about the deaths of L'il Tomato, Tom.A.To, and Toby Tomato, God rest their souls. This was all because the 'baby' of The Family Tomatoes lagged behind and the 'father' smooshes the baby."

    "Not so loud," said Mr. Tomato. "You'll rattle the lady tomatoes."

    "And the kick of it is," continued Big Juicy, "I heard this joke from Pulp Fiction. Uma Thurman tells it."

    "I saw Pulp Fiction and never remembered Uma Thurman in it," interjected Big Tomato, who indeed was in the crowd. "Was it during the 'Honey Bunny' scene?"

    "No, after," said Big Juicy.

    "During Bruce Willis?"

    "No, before," said Big Juicy.

    "Nope," said Big Tomato. "Drawing a blank."

    "But this is real life," said Big Tomato. "And Pulp Fiction is a movie. A movie starring humans. And we're talking tomatoes."

    "Oh my gosh," said Mr. Tomato. "WE'RE TALKING TOMATOES!"
    =======================================================================================
    PRO_G4NGST4 and southpark347 like this.
  2. Very cool? lol
    southpark347 likes this.
  3. Thank you?
    PRO_G4NGST4 likes this.
  4. Did you clear that thing up about the restraining order? What time do you have to wake your cats up now?
    PandasEatRamen likes this.
  5. Yes. The cats are gone.
    PRO_G4NGST4 likes this.
  6. My condolences.
    PandasEatRamen likes this.
  7. Thank you, they are much needed.
    PRO_G4NGST4 likes this.
  8. I am very confused.
  9. The Second Annual Family Tomato Celebrity Charity Fun Run began with a moment of silence for the anniversary of the slaying of Li'l Tomato, 46. Many celebrity tomatoes keep talking, however.

    "The fun run has been tarnished," celebrity tomato Mr. Tomato whispered bitterly. "Now when people hear 'Family Tomato Celebrity Charity Fun Run,' they think of 'Family Tomatoes murderer.'"

    "I heard not only is Big Tomato still at large," gossiped celebrity tomato Tom.A.To, "but he's here in the crowd now, and since we all look alike, no one can tell."

    "Is that true, Tom.A.To?" Big Juicy asked Mr. Tomato.

    "Tom.A.To is over there, rotting ungracefully," Mr. Tomato replied.

    "Idiot," responded Tom.A.To.

    "Quiet down, everyone. Will you all show some respect?" spoke up Toby Tomato. "Average Joemato is within earshot and is still mourning Li'l's death. It's not Average's fault Big 'Dennis the Menaced' Li'l Tomato."

    There was no response.

    "You know, Dennis the Menace. Created by Hank Ketcham. Big turned Li'l into 'Ketcham.'"

    "That's a horrible joke. Boo!" said Average Joemato and grabbed Tom.A.To and threw it at Toby.

    Paramedics declared Tom.A.To and Toby Tomato dead on scene. Charity officials had no choice but to cancel the event.
    PRO_G4NGST4 likes this.
  10. Lol you crack me up tomato man :rolleyes:
  11. NOOOOOOOOO!
    NOT LI'L TOMATO!!!
    we will forver miss you :( ;-;
  12. At the first annual Keep the Peace Memorial Celebrity Tomato Fun Run (formerly the Third Annual Family Tomato Celebrity Charity Fun Run), participants quietly stretched before the race, but no one spoke except for a noticeably drunk Big Juicy.

    Big Juicy said, "Do you know what gets me?"

    "Not this again," said Mr. Tomato.

    "No, this is important. This is about the deaths of L'il Tomato, Tom.A.To, and Toby Tomato, God rest their souls. This was all because the 'baby' of The Family Tomatoes lagged behind and the 'father' smooshes the baby."

    "Not so loud," said Mr. Tomato. "You'll rattle the lady tomatoes."

    "And the kick of it is," continued Big Juicy, "I heard this joke from Pulp Fiction. Uma Thurman tells it."

    "I saw Pulp Fiction and never remembered Uma Thurman in it," interjected Big Tomato, who indeed was in the crowd. "Was it during the 'Honey Bunny' scene?"

    "No, after," said Big Juicy.

    "During Bruce Willis?"

    "No, before," said Big Juicy.

    "Nope," said Big Tomato. "Drawing a blank."

    "But this is real life," said Big Tomato. "And Pulp Fiction is a movie. A movie starring humans. And we're talking tomatoes."

    "Oh my gosh," said Mr. Tomato. "WE'RE TALKING TOMATOES!"
    PRO_G4NGST4 likes this.
  13. :( sorry to hear your loss
    Curundu likes this.
  14. Thank you.
    PRO_G4NGST4 likes this.
  15. Wish there was a way to paste this tomato thread into my profile.